Citation: bluedolphin. "Stuck in a Clockwork Orange Spaceship: An Experience with Ketamine (exp46839)". Erowid.org. Nov 10, 2005. erowid.org/exp/46839
||(powder / crystals)
||(powder / crystals)
Honestly I don't remember this night very well... but it was indeed one of the most intense psychedelic experiences I've ever had. So I'll fast forward to the interesting part...
First, I had insufflated maybe 150mg Ketamine. Cool, but not as intense or interesting as my previous Ketamine experience, which was with a similar insufflated dose. I wanted to travel a bit deeper but my nose was already pretty damn clogged and I knew it would just be a waste of K to try to cram any more up there.
So I surfed the web a bit... still rather fucked on K, mind you. And decided to try an oral dose. I believe I capped up either 400mg or 500mg of Ketamine. Then I swallowed the gel caps not really knowing what to expect. At this point I was planning on insufflating another 100mg once the oral dose kicked in, because I suspected that would be nescessary to really K-Hole.
I was still sitting in my chair, reading about oral ketamine -- no more than 10 minutes could have possibly passed when I started feeling quite heavy. Like sinking into my chair and as if my face were under the influence of some serious G-forces. I should note that ganja was smoked, though not heavily, throughout the evening. I have no idea when I smoked but that might be something to keep in mind. Anyway, I started sinking quick, and though, shit, this oral K kicks in damn quick! Really, I don't think I've ever eaten a pill that kicked in quicker. Especially considering it was inside a gel cap, which must take at least a few minutes to release all the K in my belly.
So I quickly picked out some tunes and made my way over to my bed.
I was staring at the wall when I started getting very dissociated from my surroundings. This was happening very quickly. Then I started getting dissociated from my own bodily functions. As this was happening, I quickly checked my pulse (old habit from my panic attack days...) and decided it was normal. Oh shit, have I been breathing? I took a few big gasps of air to make up for the chance that I may have forgotten to breathe for a while. Then I tried to put my physical body on auto-pilot, because its significance and even existence were very quickly dissapearing.
My surroundings were out of control. Walls and objects turned into any number of things which they certainly were not in reality. However, this was my reality now.
Suddenly everything changed. I found myself inside a pastel colored room, which reminded me of something off the set of A Clockwork Orange. This room had soft edges, retro-looking spaceship windows, and the occasional entity / undefineable life force floating through it. And I was stuck to the wall.
Allright, I thought, after a little while, let's move on. But I didn't move on. I couldn't blink and make everything change. I couldn't use my super-ketamine mental powers to alter my situation.
Now, on Ketamine I think it's near impossible to freak out. It seems to narrow my spectrum of joy and fear (while leaving me completely amazed and having a blast anyway... strange). Anyway, I started to wonder, 'Am I hanging on the verge of death?' I could not for the life of me try to check my pulse because the gravitational forces that kept me stuck to this wall were too intense. I was, however, aware of my breathing. So I tried to breathe normally and figured as long as I was breathing, I was alive. Even though I had no idea where I was or how I got here, there must have been a little bit of my brain that still remembered I had taken a pretty fat dose of oral Ketamine. Perhaps my relatively vast psychedelic and dissociative experience allowed me to cope with this. For the time being, 'cope' is really the word to use to describe my situation.
Then the gravitational forces started to shift. And like the turning of a giant cog, I moved through this spaceship. Most of the rooms were similar. The gravitational forces started to increase, and next thing I knew I was a ball of consciousness free-falling into space. At this point I had to reconsider the possibility that I went a few milligrams over the line. But I could still control my breathing.... groovy.
What happened next is very hard to explain. I believe I stretched out quite a bit, to encompass quite a bit more of the universe than I am normally accustomed to taking up.
Would I call this ego death? No. Taking 5 grams of mushrooms will give me ego death. This was different. My body was irrelevant, yes. I witnessed myself as a part of the universal collective of strange energy... yes. But my internal dialogue was surprisingly sober. In fact, I was not torn away from my ego. I had simply forgotten who and where I was whilst my present reality was constantly being reconstructed before me. And what I experienced *was* reality, at the time. It was not like LSD where I can see a visual and think, 'haha, whoa it looks like the toilet is trying to eat me!' On Ketamine my thoughts were very much, 'whoa, what the fuck?! where am I? oh yeah I took some drugs. Guess I'll go along for the ride!'
During this period I was completely oblivious to my surroundings. I seriously entertained the thought that perhaps a few people had found me in whatever condition I was in, and were standing above me trying to figure out what to do. Then I started coming out of it. How long was that? Who knows. An hour probably. First thing I remembered was that my doors were locked so nobody could possibly be in my room watching over me. Then the spaceship slowly faded into something which resembled my wall. I realized I was, in fact, lying down on my bed. I think there was a little drool hanging out of my mouth, and my eyes had teared up quite a bit. My room was still extremely visual... but to the extent that I could at least navigate it with some reliability if I chose to. But I chose to stay in bed for a while and enjoy the gravitational sensations and the appearance of my ceiling flowing like water. And of course the red and green blotches had appeared, as I described better in my last report, drawing and destroying whatever my imagination could come up with.
Perhaps a half hour later.... so, about 1:45h after eating the Ketamine, I got up out of bed. I found the comedown off oral ketamine to be much more sedating than that of insufflated ketamine, so I believe I smoked a bowl, chilled for a bit, and ate an ambien and crashed.
I woke up the next afternoon feeling pretty scattered and lazy. But at least I got plenty of sleep.
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