Mushrooms - P. cubensis
Citation: Jacksonmang. "Bathed by the Goddess: An Experience with Mushrooms - P. cubensis (exp44008)". Erowid.org. Apr 20, 2006. erowid.org/exp/44008
The word was out that a coworker had aquired a large amount of shrooms. I don't usually partake in hallucinogens but since I've recently began reading Terrence McKenna I've renewed my passion for entheogenic explorations.
I had the great idea of chopping them finely and drinking them in orange juice. OJ sucks coming back up! It was way harder than just chewing them up as I did last week. I must say that the dose was about half the last. Last Thursday I ate three caps and four stems. It was an incredible experience; almost too intense. We cut the dose in half this time. T and C ate even less.
As we smoked pot in the living room the others played some racing video game that was quite intense in a sober state. It became even more insane as the shrooms started to affect me. It took about 30 minutes to fully floor me. Once I puked in M's living room I was immediately propelled outside (in my mind; anyway). I really though that I was in the street in front of his house. That's what I saw anyway. I came back for a little while after that and we made it to the back porch.
At this point I became dissolved in the trip. Terrence McKenna speaks of being digested and reborn by the Goddess. I haven't decided if this is a Goddess of the entity of the mushroom, the entity of psilocybin, or of the organism that is our planet and all it's life forms. All I know is that I was completely chewed up last night. I faded in and out of reality several times and with each lapse I lost consciousness of time and space. When I finally grasped reality for more than a brief moment I felt wet and dirty. My brain comprehended that I had soiled myself. In my simple three-dimensional comprehension I thought I must have either vomited in my lap or urinated on myself. I felt dirty. Turns out I was completely clean.
At that point I decided to go take a shower. M led me up to the 'working shower' in the house. I got naked and turned on the water. Their pipes are all messed up and I couldn't figure out how to turn on the shower. Maybe the water pressure wasn't enough. While I was doing this I was tripping really hard. I felt as if my rebirth was complete and I had fully connected to the Goddess. She was connecting me to every single past experience had by all shamen and trippers alike. Out of all mellennia and collective experience the Goddess showed H to me.
Since I couldn't figure out how to get the shower to work; I curled into a fetal position under the bath tub faucet and bathed myself. The Goddess knew that I was dirty; covered in the invisible afterbirth of shamanic exstacy. She knew that I needed a familiar feeling/being/consciousness to clense myself. The faucet began pouring out the essence of H's last visit with her. The Goddess never forgets her collective experience no matter when or where we visit Her. Somehow She knew that H's vision, her memory, her inner Sage would wash me. I emmerged feeling renewed, clean, and somehow more connected to her (H) than ever before.
It was one of the strangest feelings I've ever had. Even though she wasn't in the same state of mind (or the same zip code) I seemed to know what she felt last time she tripped. It seemed as if the Goddess cast her over me in order to confort me. She knew I had not yet comprehended the transition and I needed something familiar to reconnect with reality. I felt as if I was cleaner than I had ever been and it no longer mattered.
I came out of the bathroom in clean clothes; disoriented. The rest of our tribe was in T's room and the lights were out. After stumbling around the house and regaining my bearings I joined them in the room. This was the point that I started ragaining my sense of an Earthly, three dimensional world. The warm, candle lit room was much more soothing than the blacklights M had set up in the living room.
It took quite a while for me to get comfortable and suppress the embarassment since I thought I soiled myself. I put on some music and we all relaxed. Once I was digested and spit back out in the nakedness of the bathroom I felt like she were there; only in another dinension that our simple brains can't imagine. Once we were all comfortable in the warm glow and soothing music of T's room I craved her presence. I needed H's body to be near me since I had lost the feeling of her presence that the Goddess had provided while naked in the flowing water of the tub. I forced myself to be content with my surroundings and the rest of the evening was quite pleasant.
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