Citation: Redleader. "Rush and Glow: An Experience with Cocaine (exp43976)". Erowid.org. Jan 19, 2007. erowid.org/exp/43976
||Alcohol - Beer/Wine
| T+ 0:00
| T+ 4:30
||(powder / crystals)
| T+ 5:30
||(powder / crystals)
This report documents my first experience with cocaine.
Background: I am a twenty year old male and I consider myself to be in good physical and metal health. I've grown up in a secular, yet still relatively stereotypical suburban household. Throughout my high school years, I lived under the impression that the parental inculcation about drugs being 'bad things' had some merit. Because neither of my parents, nor any of my high school friends drank, I did not take my first sip of alcohol until the fall of my freshman year of college (I attend a small liberal arts school in midwest America). For me, drinking was something new, but it rapidly lost its novelty and I never really enjoyed it, as I often got sick/nauseous and was never able to really loosen up even with its aid.
My sophomore fall, I was introduced to cannabis. Before my first smoking session, I had already decided that the smell of marijuana was appealing to me and some of the effects of it sounded more appealing than those of alcohol. While I did not feel any effects from my first few sessions, over the past nine months, I have used cannabis roughly 50 times and have mastered the art of getting high. As I have always been subject to moderately high amounts of personal anxiety and paranoia, I have had many trips ruined by my own emotions. This mainly comes from the fact that my college has very strict security and I often have to be very creative so that I am not caught. Having to constantly watch your surroundings can be a huge burden on what should be a time to relax.
But don't get me wrong, I enjoy cannabis quite a lot. It has allowed me to enjoy mundane things much more, have actually helped me with my schoolwork (I am a math major and find that a moderate high can help me grasp abstract concepts in analysis and/or abstract algebra better), and provide a good overall physical experience. Most of my friends at school are drinkers only and much of my smoking is done in solitude. At times I wish that I could be immersed into a more drug-friendly culture, but the back of my mind knows that my introverted lifestyle helps me fly under the radar.
Aside from alcohol and cannabis, I have insufflated Amphetamines (Adderall) on three separate occasions, but never more than a standard 25mg dose at once. I enjoy the 'upper' effects and was able to accomplish a lot of schoolwork under Adderallís influence. I was also prescribed a cough suppressant about six months ago that contained codeine, which cured my cough and seemed to always have a subtle, yet positive effect on my mindset. I can only imagine the bliss that comes from other opiates and higher doses, yet do not wish to dabble with any of that quite yet. Henceforth, I have not used any other illegal drug or legal drug in an illegal fashion.
Setup: About a week ago, a coworker of mine made an announcement about her college graduation party, which would be held the following friday. Upon asking what she was going to have at her party, she informed me that a keg would be purchased, and that a limited amount of cannabis and cocaine would be available for 'a select few.' I've had a mild interest in cocaine ever since my interest in drugs spawned (about the time I began to use marijuana), but I had never seen it or been offered it. I asked my coworker, who I shall refer to as A, if she would acquire a small excess of cocaine, for which I would gladly offer her money. An agreement was made and my first experience with cocaine was set.
Over the course of the following week, I began to research the drug. I read all that I could find on internet sites. I gave myself several preparation talks concerning cocaine's addictiveness, assuring myself that I've never had problems with any form of addiction, drug-related or not, prior to this and that I needed to remain in a 'mind-over-matter' mindset throughout the evening. Sure, I have used marijuana rather frequently, but I do not feel that I physically crave it, nor would my life be significantly worse in the case that it was taken away from me. No matter how good cocaine was, I would not ask for any more and would wait at least one calendar month until I would allow myself to use it again, if given the opportunity.
I anticipated that its effects would be similar to those that I experienced from insufflating Adderall, yet possibly stronger. I chose to abstain from cannabis and alcohol for the week leading up to this party and told myself that unless there ended up not being any cocaine at the party, that I would not use any other substances throughout the evening either. I wanted to document the effects exclusive to the cocaine and eliminate any potential bias from certain combinations.
Results: Upon arriving at the party, I fell under the impression that there was no cocaine present and that I might have to put my first experience on hold. I was offered a beer and an opportunity to smoke some marijuana, neither which I chose to pass up. Over the next two hours, I consumed three beers and participated in two bowls of marijuana. I felt good over this time and became complacent with the thought that I was not going to be using any cocaine. My new assistant boss was also present and I knew that staying as sober as possible was probably a good idea.
About two hours after I had arrived, I was still feeling the effects of both the beer and the marijuana, yet I still considered myself to be sober enough to speak with a policeman or attempt mathematics. It was then that A approached me and explained that a guest had arrived with a cocaine offer. She seemed excited about it, so I told her that I was in. As the cocaine would still have to be purchased, it gave me some time to sober up more.
The cocaine arrived and we agreed to use it at a time that translated to three and a half hours after I arrived (ninety minutes after any other substance use). It cost $60 for what I was told was an eighth of a gram. This seemed rather expensive, but I was assured that it was 'high quality product.' From my research, I knew that a standard line of cocaine was around 50mg. So an eighth of a gram, or 125mg, would yield two and a half standard lines. I knew, though, that my bodyweight (120lbs), the fact that this was high-quality cocaine, and that I was not completely sober probably meant that I needed less of this particular cocaine at this moment in time to feel its effects. M told me that this cocaine was good enough that this amount of cocaine was plenty for the three of us to feel very good. To this day I am unsure about how much I really did consume or how much the grade of cocaine matters in dosage.
We ended up making seven lines, which did not appear all that small to me. Whether we had more cocaine in actuality, or I was not aware of how big a standard line was I will never know. Math told me that my line contained about 18mg of cocaine plus or minus human error. A, the middleman M, and I would split the cocaine. A would have three lines, I would have two, and M would have two. I planned to insufflate my first line, wait for an unknown time, and then move on to the second.
T+0.00 - I took the line up my left nostril. It went up easy, much easier than my experiences with Adderall. Nevertheless, over time, I would declare that the drip and nasal congestion from cocaine was worse than that of Adderall. At first, I felt nothing other that my heartbeat being slightly higher than normal due to excitement. I knew that Adderall came on gradually over about ten minutes. I stood with A and M, who were talking, and waited.
T+0.01 - After about ninety seconds, I felt my heartbeat increase. At first, I thought it was merely a placebo effect, as I was quite nervous, yet anticipatory about what was to come. But it continued to increase. In my mindís eye, I pictured my heartbeat being modeled on the standard xy-plane. My heartbeat looked like the graph of the exponential function.
T+0.02 - It was definitely kicking in. I began to worry a bit, as I could feel my heart pounding and my pulse increasing. My upper body felt warm. I knew that this increase was typical to the drug, but I also knew that my body had a physical limit and that the increase needed to level out before too long.
T+0.03 - I finally felt as if it had reached a plateau. My heartbeat became level, albeit still very high. Many people say that one feels euphoria - being invincible and/or the desire to clean the house. I did not feel either of these (and I did remember to think about these things). For me, the positive effects of cocaine came directly from knowing that I had reached a plateau and I was going to be fine. I felt invigorated, yet also very comfortable.
It was suprising how physical the sensations actually were. I had a warm, tingly sensation in my limbs. I began to talk with A and M, asking them a few questions about the drug and to see if they too were effected. They assured me that they were and that it was indeed good cocaine (I got the impression that it hit me, the virgin and lightweight user, harder, though).
T+0.06 - The drip was really annoying. My throat was also irritated. We moved into a second room so that A and M can use a computer. I asked for a pencil and paper so that I could write down notes about my experience.
T+0.10 - I felt my mouth getting dry. I had no desire to grind my teeth or clinch my jaw, but I did start rubbing my teeth against my lips.
T+0.15 - I felt completely sober. It felt good, but nothing spectacular. I did not feel a desire to read or do something academic, but just to sit and study my surroundings and my bodily sensations.
T+0.30 - Both the dry mouth and the drip were still present and annoying.
T+0.50 - No longer felt anything significant. I felt as if I had just awoken and drank a cup of coffee.
T+1.00 - A wanted to do our second lines. I felt no desire, neither a physical one nor a mental one, to do any more, but nevertheless I obliged. Mostly, I did not feel like experiencing the heartbeat increase again. I did, however, now have the knowledge that I gained from the first line, so I did not feel that I would be as nervous. Line two was insufflated.
T+1.05 - A 'rush' never came from this line, although some of the warmness and energy has returned. I almost felt like I was 'glowing.' I still felt very sober. We licked up the last of the cocaine, which was interesting. It does make the mouth and teeth feel numb, much like the over-the-counter products made to numb mouth sores, yet stronger.
T+1.10 - I talked to some other people for a while. I felt awake, but this line definitely did not result in the same type of journey as the first.
T+1.30 - I decided to drive home. The drive was rather uneventful and music did not sound necessarily better.
T+2.00 - I arrived home and prepare to go to bed. I still felt wide awake, but knew that I should lay down now so that I could fall asleep as soon as possible. I had to be at work in about eight hours.
T+3.00 - For some reason, only at this point did I begin to urinate quite frequently. I had a bowl of cereal and some milk. I never noticed a real loss of appetite from the cocaine. Only the nauseous effects made the sound of food somewhat unattractive. My mouth was still dry and I was still scraping my teeth against my lips.
T+3.30 - I finally fell asleep.
Next day - I felt normal. My nasal passages were a bit congested, but nothing I could not handle. My heart was back to normal. All the effects of the drug appeared to be elements of my past.
Conclusion: To me, the most surprising element of my experience was just how quick and hard the first rush hit me. I was told by M that a dose of about 1.5 times larger than the first line I had taken at once would be 'ideal' for this quality cocaine. Mentally, I have no doubt that I could have handled more at once. Physically, though, I just do not know the limits of my heart or how much harder a larger dose would push it. If I were to use cocaine again, especially in a larger dose, I would have water present and I would move around during the rush. Cocaine definitely hit me harder than Adderall, yet died out faster as well. Cocaine affected me much more physically than Adderall, yet did not stimulate me intellectually. The cocaine experience was quite similar to drinking a lot of coffee in a short amount of time. The dry mouth and lip biting were also things that cocaine gave me that I did not experience with Adderall.
In the end, I would actually prefer the Adderall rush to the cocaine rush. Considering that this was high quality cocaine, I have no doubt that Adderall is more worth its price. I do not doubt that cocaine generates good feelings to its user and I do not think that even the most skeptical of users would not feel any complacent tendencies. For me, though, it was simply a rush and not anything too extravagant.
I am glad to say that I felt no need to do any more cocaine, other than possibly in the future for experimental value. I would do it again if I were in its presence, but I do not have any desire to seek it on my own.
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