Citation: Vempireor. "The High That Changed: An Experience with Cannabis (exp43230)". Erowid.org. Sep 5, 2007. erowid.org/exp/43230
It was in the summer of 2004 that my experience with marijuana had begun to change. Not only in a mental form, but in a physical form as well. I had used the substance for years, always having a good experience with it. But during that time up until now my experience with marijuana has become less and less enjoyable.
The most memorable experience was in the month of July of 2004. Some friends and I had gone to the movies and brought with us our old friend Mary Jane to assist in our viewing pleasure. It was around eight o'clock at night, and we were sitting in the car in a far off spot in the parking lot to conceal what we were about to do. I had not been on any medications at the time, nor had I been in a foul mood, which makes this experience especially strange. As a matter a fact I was in a very good mood. I was excited to see the film and was enjoying time spent with good friends.
We had packed about a gram into a bowl which we started smoking about an hour before the movie begun. We passed it around and chatted away as we always did. I took about five or six decent hits before I felt a slight buzz coming on. I felt good and had a happy warm feeling going through my body. I felt on top of the world in the presence of good friends.
After a few minutes of being high, I began to feel afraid. Of what I was afraid I can not explain, but it hit me like a ton of bricks. I began to have tremors and feel dizzy. The lights in the parking lot began to spin around and blur in and out of my vision. Then the nausea hit me. I felt as though I could not breathe. I was shaking and feeling like I was going to vomit. My friends were concerned if I was okay, and I told them I wasn't sure. I was very afraid at this point because I had never had a reaction like this to any drug. I swung open the door of the car and hung out like I was going to fall on the ground. I felt like calling 911. The terrible notion that I was going to die right then and there came over me and I was very afraid. I told my friends I didn't want to see the movie anymore. All I wanted to do was go home. They tried to calm me down and make me feel better, but it was not working. Eventually the sickness began to fade and I decided to go and see the movie, but it still lingered for at least three hours afterwards.
The strange thing about this experience is that it has reoccurred nearly every time I have gotten high afterward. Usually not in that extreme, but I always feel nauseus and afraid. I feel impending doom coming down on me and everything had a strange and dark color to it. The tone of the entire world around me seems so gloomy and dark. When I'm high I can not wait untill it ends. I feel so afraid. It feels like the world is going to end.
I am very disturbed by these feelings I've had the past year with my marijuana use. I always had very positive highs. And even in my negative ones I never felt any fear. I was simply contemplating depressing thoughts, which actually turned out to be productive, because when I became sober, I could find a solution to what was plauging my emotions. My friends still do not understand what I felt and still feel. I still smoke on occasion, but I won't take more than a couple of small hits for fear of having one of these horrible experiences. It is beyond me what could be causing these odd highs.
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