Citation: Foolish Freshman. "This Is Not Where I Want to Be Right Now: An Experience with Alcohol, Cannabis & Salvia divinorum (extract) (exp38104)". Erowid.org. Dec 3, 2004. erowid.org/exp/38104
I am writing this report to give a legitimate warning to anyone who might be interested in giving Salvia Divinorum (12x extract I was told after the experience) a legitimate whirl. Before I continue, I would like to let all who read this know that I am not a foolish person regarding the use of psychedelics. I'm currently pursuing an anthropology degree with emphasis on cultural religious practices, and always exercise the utmost caution when practicing mind altering substances of any kind. In the past, I have had experience with multiple different hallucinatory substances (amazing) and of course a small amount of dabbling in speedy powders (not my cup of tea).
I am writing about one particular Saturday night when I was a freshman at my college. At this point, I was somewhat naive in the realm of psychedelic conscious experience, and basically had no idea what Salvia (the nightmare leaf, as many call it around here) had in store for me. After getting myself quite drunk at an off-campus kegger, and a trip to the bar, I found myself in the company of a small group of psychonauts in a very cramped dorm room on the edge of campus.
As the booze began to run dry, and the very last of our cannabis was in the process of being smoked, we realized that our night seemed to be at an end.
'Not to fear.' Said a friend of mine (I'll call him Igby)
'I have a gram and a half of 12x Salvia, and we should fire up the bong.' he said.
'What is Salvia?' I naively asked, being unfamiliar with the drug at this point in time.
'Oh, it's a psychoactive drug. It'll make you see some funky shit.' Igby replied, very sketchy on the details.
As the alcohol had loosened me up quite a bit, I felt that I might as well give it a whirl, being out of beer and cannabis.
[This was my first mistake, folks. Salvia is not to be trifled with. I had tripped on a healthy eighth of mushrooms prior to this several times, and had never experienced anything negative, so all systems were go.]
Next thing I knew, the four-foot glass bong was in front of me, as I was being blessed with the opportunity to spark it. Being drunk, I torched the hell out of the bong, waited for the chamber to turn an opaque milky white, and cleared the entire thing. I started to gag on the smoke as my lungs literally reached maximum capacity. Wow, I was certainly in for it. Foolish bastard that I am. After exhaling, I noted a strange not altogether pleasing 'leafy' taste. Not your dank cannabinoids, my friends.
Now from this point on, let it be known that I have absolutely no concept of time, or any real perspective on the true chronology of these events, but I'll articulate it as best as I can:
The first thing I remember noticing was a strange sort of 'rumbling' feeling. This can be related to when I first feel a good hit of nitrous oxide coming on; the effect one would get as a roaring train rolls by your room, causing everything to tremble and shake. The next thing I realized, everything had become unreal, as if in a dream. I looked up at the wall, and there was this strange sort of 'membrane' like structure that was looming. Suddenly, it fell down upon me, and it was almost as though I was being spun into a sort of cocoon like thing, seemingly out of nothing.
My first reaction was complete and utter disbelief. I had completely forgotten that I had taken any substance whatsoever, and essentially, didn't know what the hell was going on. I tried to make out my friends' faces for comfort, and I was utterly aghast to see the entire room (and everything that encompassed it, including my friends) growing in size, as if coming near me. Suddenly, the entire 'room' or 'reality'... whatever... Passed right through me, and off in the distance, I perceived another reality, the same one as before with my friends sitting in the room hitting the bong. This sort of 'polaroid' type thing grew and grew again until it passed by me once again, only to be followed by the same thing, over and over again as if in some sort of demented flashback cycle.
At this point, I was in a complete panic. I had lost all control of my limbs, as the 'cocoon' (i know it sounds fucked-up)... was being spun around my entire body, pinning me to the ground. For some reason, I made the assumption at this point that the police were there (I have NO idea why... Just bad tripping or some form of it, I suppose) and that they were going to take me away. I shouted out to my friend to help me, but what came out of my mouth was perceived by my ears as an unintelligable mess of broken up syllables [I'm not necessarily talking about auditory hallucinations and octave changes like an LSD or mushroom experience] It was as if my voice was a track on a CD player that was skipping rapidly, so rapidly that i could not understand what I or anyone else in the room was saying.
Here's where things get really crazy. The room keeps passing by me faster and faster and faster, as the 'cycle' or 'frame' thing seemed to be speeding up. I started to hear this strange, deep, ominous humming noise as though we were about to jump to 'hyper speed' in a starship of some sort. Then suddenly, everything broke apart. It was as though my mind could not handle what was going on in reality, and the cycle tore apart violently (pretend everything in your field of vision is a polaroid picture, and try and imagine it ripping off section by section over and over again.) Underneath this was the most complete and utter blackness I have ever seen. I dont even feel as though I was 'seeing' it as much as simply 'being' it. I was nothing for a moment, and then, I fell. This is the most abstract insane thing I have ever experiened. Once my reality tore open, the cocoon membrane thing suddenly ripped apart, and I felt like I was falling and twisting and turning violently into... something...? Who the hell knows. I distinctly remember falling just violently as if down a cliff, hitting every boulder on the way down.
As I hit bottom, I honestly thought I had broken every bone in my body. I don't want to give the impression that I felt pain, because at that point I don't think I could have felt much of anything... But it was as if once I hit bottom, my body was dead, and for the first time in my existence, there was nothing. Simply a strange abstract conscousness that wasn't necessarily me anymore. As I (or my new manifestation, whatever it was) sat there, I remember seeing a blinding orb of light directly above me, fractalizing and turning and twisting... I thought it was my world, and I had left it, and was never being allowed back.
There was no sadness, no pain, nothing. Just nothing. I've never felt so existential ever. Then, from all sides of the orb, these cosmic beings (5 of them) all looked down at me in disbelief. At first, I thought they were aliens, and I had been taken to them. Then, I recognized the face of Igby, and all the others, and it was as if I had just returned from the land of Oz. Although Oz would have certainly been more appealing than wherever it was I had been.
As I sat up, I was completely shaken, but glad to be 'back'. Apparently only 10 minutes had passed, and according to Igby I was laying down the entire time, mumbling gibberish to myself and not blinking at all (I'm not sure about the whole 'not blinking' thing... But then again, who knows? I certainly don't.)
I'm not trying to make this experience out to be anything more than it is. It was mine, and that's why its important to me. None of this is exaggerated. In fact, there's shitloads of other stuff I'm sure I neglected to mention. Anyways, for what its worth, I have never done Salvia again, because I am profoundly frightened that I will never come back again. Be careful, and if you choose to take the definitive bong rip as I did, just... I don't even know, man... Be in a padded room or something. Peace.
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