Citation: Weedpuller. "Nearly Constant Tracers: An Experience with Cannabis (exp37542)". Erowid.org. Oct 21, 2004. erowid.org/exp/37542
Innocent little marijuana has the ability to give HPPD to sensitive users, and I am one of those users. I write this report not to deter anyone from trying weed, but to point out the mistakes I made, and hopefully, teach some uneducated soul the warning signs of impending HPPD.
Weed was the first 'drug' I ever really tried. I had drank and done some ritalin (for recreational purposes only) beforehand, but had never truly been intoxicated until the first time I got stoned off of weed. It actually took about 10 times until I finally got stoned. That first time i went into the experience a happy, healthy teenager. I was with my sister and we were taking bong rips in her room. It was a peaceful Sunday afternoon, and I smoked expecting nothing to happen, as my previous attempts had yielded. Instead, about a minute after smoking, I unexpectedly became EXTREMELY stoned. My vision suddenly went into frame vision as I call it, and I lost almost all memory of who I was and where I was. I tried telling my sister what was happening, but I couldn't think of what words to say to express the utter confusion and disorientartion I felt. My mind made no connection between the weed I had just smoked and how I was feeling. I ended up having my first panic attack, convinced I would never return to 'normal' again.
I ran to my room and hid under my covers, attempting to sleep off the overwhelming feeling. Instead I just had these terrifying thoughts of what it would be like to be trapped in this state forever, and within minutes I was drenched in sweat and hyperventilating. My sister came in and eventually convinced me I was just stoned. I felt alot better realizing I wasn't crazy, and within a few more hours, I did return to normal. I tried smoking again about a month later, and had the same effects, only that time I anticipated them, and had a rather good time. My summer had just begun, and I started smoking weed whenever it was available, each time tripping as hard as I had the first time, except I started to rather enjoy the experience. I didn't get stoned like everyone else, though. I never got the 'munchies', I never felt relaxed or at peace, I just felt like I was tripping balls. And it only took two hits of chronic to get me this stoned. I would see tracers and psychedelic patterns all through out the 'trip'. By the end of the summer I was smoking nearly everyday, and never felt as though I gave myself quite enough time in between smokes to feel 'normal' again.
I started to become depressed, as I began to feel as though I was stoned even when I wasn't. I ended up quitting smoking after 4 long months of use, but was left with depersonalization disorder, severe anxiety, and HPPD. For several months after quitting my life was a living hell. I had changed from my happy old self to a depressed, anxiety-ridden wreck. I attribute this change solely to the weed I smoked that summer. I did no other drugs except drink, and I was in a very healthy mental state. For awhile, I felt as though I was cursed to feel this way for life. I felt so angry at others (including my parents) who could casually smoke weed all the time and not have any of the problems that I had. Luckily, over a period of about two years the depersonalization and anxiety faded, and the HPPD did as well, although I still notice it now, and it has been about 2.5 years since I last smoked weed. And yes, I do have HPPD, I see nearly constant tracers, static like spots in my vision, and just general 'visual noise', though it has decreased dramatically in the last few years and is now just a little annoyance, rather than a life destroying problem like it used to be.
So if anyone out there is as sensitive as I was too weed, better watch out in case any of these problems sneak up onto you.
oh, and F.Y.I., I have tried a variety of hallucinogenic drugs beyond my weed days, specifically shrooms (doses of 1/16 an ounce or less) DXM (perhaps 60 times in moderate doses around 450mg) 2c-I and even dramamine (up to 600mg, but I never did hallucinate) and none of these drugs in any way increased the effects of my HPPD.
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