Syrian Rue & Mushrooms - P. cubensis
Citation: VapourBoy. "The Moment: An Experience with Syrian Rue & Mushrooms - P. cubensis (exp35242)". Erowid.org. Sep 10, 2004. erowid.org/exp/35242
The world was rejoicing. The thaw had begun in earnest. Everything that had been dormant for the past six months was now resuming growth and propagation, the animals, the trees, the wildflowers. Spring had come, and the world was rejoicing.
We, too, were rejoicing, my friends M, R and myself. A particularly grueling school year was summed up not more than three days before, and we felt the need to properly synthesize and integrate all that we had learned and experienced during the past long winter. A low-traffic backcountry camping trail was the perfect setting, and psilocybian mushrooms were the perfect tool.
The gods had been smiling upon us the entire day; one could not have asked for better weather and we stumbled upon a prime campsite across a valley from Longs Peak in Colorado’s Roosevelt Forest wilderness next to a seasonal pond full of fresh water ready for our filtering. No one else had been seen on the pristine trail, and none would be seen for the duration of the trip. We all wondered, “Whatever have we done to deserve this?”
Earlier in the day we had split an extraction of nine Hawaiian Baby Woodrose seeds amongst the three of us, not enough to become incapacitated on any level, but an ample amount to further augment the beauty of our first day living in the wilderness. But the extraction was just an appetizer; the full course was prepared in the early afternoon, timed to coincide with a potentially breathtaking sunset to the West behind the aforementioned peak.
The previous days we had been observing the dietary restrictions suggested for consuming a monoamine oxidase inhibitor, as we had planned to augment our sacrament of 11 grams (divided three ways, of course) of Psilocybe Cubensis of the Amazonian strain with a Syrian Rue tea, of which we split 6 grams about half an hour prior to the ingestion of the fungus tea. This was to be a first time for all of us combining the harmala alkaloids with psilocybin, and we were not entirely sure what to expect qualitatively, although we all anticipated the possibility of a more intense experience than that induced by the mushrooms alone.
Both teas went down without disagreement and the decision was made to take a short walk around the surrounding area before returning to our base camp for the duration of the experience.
(T+ 0:15) We made our way to a massive aspen grove which had colonized an entire hillside while we awaited the first flickers of awareness that constitute the comeup experienced on mushrooms. All three of us experienced psychonauts were amazed and slightly alarmed when the first effects manifested quite rapidly and at a greater degree of intensity we were used to.
The stately quaking aspen were beginning a subtle, flowing dance in unison with each other. “This is going to be good,” M said. We agreed and began our retreat to the campsite.
(T+0:30) Quite sedated, I immediately collapsed onto our blanket upon returning to the site. I was feeling extremely uncomfortable and apprehensive. No one spoke for quite some time. None of us could stand up. We were losing control of our senses, memories, physical shells and egos.
At this time, I could not fathom why I had taken the substance in the first place. “What is positive about the mushroom experience?” I kept asking myself. “This is horrible, could I please just die now so I may never have the chance to use these horrible mushrooms again?” I knew nothing but pain, agony and loathing. I was stuck in an eternal loop of discomfort and pain. Had I entered hell?
(T+1:00) I regained awareness of my surroundings and the ability to be mobile, although walking proved extremely difficult and I was unable to travel more than 20 feet without being compelled to once again collapse. My hatred for myself and the sacred mushroom began subsiding, but physical effects were now present that I had never before experienced through all of my entheogenic journeys. My visual field was a flurry of movement and shifting colors which kept increasing in intensity. These visual disturbances reached an unbearable climax, and I dry-heaved several times.
I was too far from the others, I had to return to the blanket. Upon reaching my destination, I collapsed and retreated into the fetal position. My unhappiness and discomfort returned and increased in intensity. I was seeing things amazing and horrible with my eyes closed and tried to keep my eyes open to maintain a faint grasp on reality. But my visions beckoned me, and I could not deny them. I was required to experience them, so I surrendered with my eyes closed.
The visual phenomena associated with mushrooms can be extremely intense and informative. However, never before or since have I endured what I now believe to be visions, as opposed to mere visuals.
(T+2:00) My closed-eye visual field expanded beyond that of normal human ability; the vision occupied a 270 degree space. If the head is the center of vision, what I saw encompassed a field extending to behind the ears. A fury of colors came into focus throughout this field, and out of the overwhelming mass of color a being emerged. Although the origin and nature of this being were not known to me, I was in awe of it, and I knew that I was powerless in its presence. It both hated and adored me and communicated through ambient noise which held my undivided attention.
Entity contact has the ability to force the emergence of multiple, contradictory emotions; in the presence of this being, I felt no fear, but was mortally afraid of its power; I felt an intense compassion for all of humanity, but loathed all of mankind for their destructive and selfish tendencies; I appreciated and loved myself, but all of my faults were made painfully clear. This being may or may not have been an avatar of myself.
(T+3:00) The experience had not yet achieved its plateau. By this point, all three of us were somewhat mobile and were able to communicate on a basic level with each other. R went to explore the pond while M and myself assumed meditative postures on the bare, rocky ground.
The sun had begun to set and we oriented ourselves toward it. The intense, vertical lightwaves found and glimmered off of each and every individual needle on the numerous pines that surrounded us. There were infinite points of light made clear to us, and we laughed at the ridiculous beauty of it all. “Whatever have we done to deserve this?”
The sun continued its journey behind the fourteen-thousand foot peak and became overwhelming in its intensity. The world about us was blanketed in white light, and the omnipotence of the life-giving Sun was made clear to our subtle minds. Over the next few minutes, M and myself had enlightenment violently thrust upon us; we had no say in the matter. There were concepts and epiphanies that we needed to be exposed to, and they forced themselves into our minds. That single Moment justified all pain and suffering that pervades this Earth. It is all an illusion, but one that we must endure and participate in in order to attain The Moment. The Moment had presented itself to me, but it now began to fade.
(T+4:00) While light was still available, we prepared ourselves to enter the tent for night. It was difficult to organize, but it was accomplished. As twilight descended, we smoked several bowls of marijuana to cope with the discomfort of reentering our physical shells in earnest and tried to communicate our experiences to one another.
Never before had I been so frustrated with myself; I had just witnessed the most beautiful and eternal Moment, but was unable to convey it to my partners. I was almost in tears when I came to the realization that I could never possibly communicate what I had experienced. I now know, however, that The Moment is not supposed to be communicated through language to anyone else. Everyone must experience The Moment for themselves, or it holds no significance.
We removed the rainfly from the tent and enjoyed the night sky, with stars innumerable and a moon perceived in preposterous proportions by our rewired minds. Sleep was slow and difficult in coming, but the next morning we were well rested and awoke to the Sun that had, just the previous night, shown me all that I ever needed to see.
Syrian Rue has profound effects, both in quality and quantity, upon a psilocybin mushroom experience. While a dose of 3.66 grams is quite potent by itself, I achieved an entirely different level with the addition of the rue. Foresight and caution are suggested.
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