Going Solo
Mushrooms - P. cubensis, Cannabis & Alcohol
Citation:   ModestMouse. "Going Solo: An Experience with Mushrooms - P. cubensis, Cannabis & Alcohol (exp34986)". Erowid.org. May 27, 2007. erowid.org/exp/34986

 
DOSE:
6.0 g oral Mushrooms - P. cubensis (dried)
  3 oz oral Alcohol - Hard (liquid)
    smoked Cannabis (plant material)
BODY WEIGHT: 188 lb
It all began on a Saturday night. With school draining most of my life, the weekends offered brief escape from stress, and in this case, reality. I was with four friends, M, R, C, and S. M's parents were away that weekend, so he offered to lend us his house to commence the drug effect. I started eating 6.0 grams of my dry mushrooms straight at about 8:00 PM, orally, into the mouth and swallowing (I cannot stand the taste of mushrooms). My other friends were looking forward to smoking marijuana for that night, so I was flying solo on mushrooms.

After sitting in his basement after the bag was finished, I felt the effects after 30-40 minutes. It did not start out visually but more mentally, affecting my thoughts, feelings, but mostly, my ambitions. My friends had finished hollowing out their cigarettes and packing it with weed by the time I was ready. We then decided to leave the house, which I did not mind, realizing that M had let us use his house, and we must respect that. I was willing to go so M drove to a vacant baseball diamond where we headed up to the announcers booth. It was R's first experience on marijuana, so I didn't know what to expect, and my mind was full of wonder for what the future would bring.

We had almost finished all of the 4 marijuana cigarettes that we were passing around when we decided to leave the announcers box and relocate. We then moved to a nearby 'grassy' hill. We sat smoking and waiting, talking with the occasional laugh. For some reason, I was full with paranoia, but moreso a feeling of getting nowhere. This is where the night turned extremely frightening and I learned that bad company is not an option while on shrooms. My friends had suspected people of coming over the hill, so we needed to start moving. I was aware of no people, and I wish I had been the first to see them.

My friend, R, who was high for his first time, got up and started running. Not so long after, the rest of us got up, and bolted across and around the diamond, running away from people. Many times while running I yelled 'Who are we running from?!' just to get a reply from R along the line of 'The Cops'. I was instantly terrified and I was running as fast as I could away from something. We reached the vehicle, and I was relieved that it was over, no one else in sight. We hop in, I'm sitting middle back seat, and anxious as a schoolboy on his first day of school. The sudden change from danger to safety eased my mind like never before. I had good vibes.

We then drove to a fast food place, where M, R, and C went in to get something to eat. I had remained in the car with S, knowing that I could not act normal in the least bit. The drugs must have started peaking while we were waiting because my sense of time was completely lost. I sat and watched the same worker come and wash windows, paranoid that she was spying on us, waiting for the police to take us away. Every second that ticked by seemed like a minute. My expectations of my friends to be in and out depleted. It must have only been 9:30 and my mind was firing off. Everything was happening at once, but more different than ever before. Every car that stopped, I gazed at, making sure they weren't approaching our vehicle.

I tried talk to S, asking him 'What's going on?' He would just giggle a little and resume tripping out. He attempted to explain to me that everything was alright. All my mind would process were words that did not appeal to me. It filtered out everything positive and left me with words that led to bad vibes and anxiety. I made an attempt to hold a decent conversation with S, but everytime he tried talking I would cut him off by yelling 'Shut Up! I don't want to talk to you, don't talk to me. I need to be away from everyone, from everything, in a box... away'... and it would repeat, me attempting to spark conversation, then lashing out. I felt as if I had no control.

After X minutes had gone by, I saw my three other friends emerge from the building. No emotion change. They got in the car and opened their food to eat. It disgusted me of how everyone ate, bad manners, everything. I became very critical of my surroundings. I decided that I would then ask my other three friends what was actually happening around us. R got instantly freaked after I said 'Are the cops around?' and he replied 'They're coming to the vehicle!' Never been more scared. It wasn't a joke, and no one took the time to stop eating and set it straight.

I sat back, in disbelief that everything around me was actually plainer than I could notice before. I fell into a trance with my eyes closed. The mental trip was taking effect, stronger than ever. I felt as though my thoughts had left me. I had no thought processes at all. My body lay limp, I 'saw' myself dead, just brain matter, nothing more, no thoughts. It scared me, but at the same time, I didn't want to leave it, because I knew that I couldn't. I sat there, head back, thinking of death, thinking that I was dead, but I wasn't even thinking. Then I had an image, of bodies lying on top of each other, with a cross stuck in them, burning, something was burning.

I jolted out of the 'dream' back to reality where the music was playing loudly as we cruised. The good vibes started coming, but I then again, slipped into another trance, same 'thoughts and visuals'. No knowledge of the happenings around me, but it didn't matter because I 'thought' that I was actually dead. I cannot express the 'thought' because I didn't think it, but realized when I regained conscienceness.

The music pounding, I jolted awake again. I think I murmured something to S, who was beside me. I thought I was yelling at him and cursing. So when I took control of my body, I tried to say sorry to him, assuming that I was cussing at him. My attempts were drowned out by the techno music blaring. I then got back into a state of mind I could deal with, mentally, emotionally, and physically.

We turned onto a rural, gravel road when out of nowhere, C, who was sitting to my left, started throwing up in his hands, and projecting it everywhere in the car. After realizing what was going on, M pulled the car over. He had gotten it in his hair. C was drinking rum earlier and it got back to him in time. We all exited the car, in absolute dismay. Covered in vomit, all over the vehicle, the night was a mess. I continued swearing at C but taking it more lightly than normal, as if I was preparing for the worst and I was ready for it.

From there on, we drove back to M's house, the worst was past us and we had SNL: Best of Mike Myers waiting for us, so we got washed up, watched it and all passed out, one by one. Weird night, many emotions, I'll try it again soon.

Exp Year: 2004ExpID: 34986
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: May 27, 2007Views: 5,782
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Mushrooms - P. cubensis (66) : General (1), Bad Trips (6), Depression (15), Difficult Experiences (5), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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