Citation: Andrew. "Soul Cap: An Experience with Heroin (exp31469)". Erowid.org. Nov 5, 2020. erowid.org/exp/31469
It had been about a year since I had started drugs. I was eventuall caught smoking and my parents began to do random teseting. At this point I had mainly just smoked pot. Albeit mass amounts of it. I started going out with the girl of my drams during the summer of 2003. She had previously had substance abuse problems. Because of the random testing, any THC was totally ouut of the question. I started doing cocain. How many 8-balls my love and I went through in the short span of two months was impressive. It stopped working at all. A month after school started I decided to slow down. I quit my friend Tony Yeto (slang for coke). I was clean for a while, but was heavily connected with drugs due to my girl and my friends. Eventually, I decided to try heroin. Vowing to not inject I bought a little amount, $100. In socal, this is not much for an average junkee at all. I got some quality black rock. Basically the best of the worst.
After a trip to San Frn for 3 days on heroin I decided it was fairly safe. At the moment I was right. I would snort a wee line and still be awake, excited, and perfectly socially active. I came home with some left. My babe and I did some together, but decided to take a break. About a month later, I decided to go for a new, slightly larger sack of beigish powder with little chunks. This time it was a school week and nt a trip so I had plenty of time to dose off. I decided to smoke it. This more 'sharp high' was wonderful. After the day I had bought that sack the week was a total blur. Now people at school tell me how I would just sit on the ground scratch my face and rant about random shit. I felt good sometimes, but truly I just wrapped myself in lies. It was nothing. The feeling of total lack of devastating emotions makes you feel happy, even though you are really just numb. After the 5,6 or 7th day(I've got no fucking clue) when I stopped I couldn't sleep because I had a terrible force ripping at my insides. I realized that it was all the pain that I had blocked it all comes back.
Heroin is a soul cap that must eventually come off, to let go all the emotions one tries so hard to forget.
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