Citation: sosxeno. "God Was a Tease: An Experience with Cannabis ('with PCP') (exp28387)". Erowid.org. Dec 17, 2004. erowid.org/exp/28387
Is it over? My body temperature is too low to verify that.
Once an active smoker (cannibis), some old friends convinced me to come outside and take a 'quick hit' for old time's sake.
I took at least 10, large, deep breaths. Beforehand I had noted that it didnt smell like weed, and later confirmed that it was heavily potent pcp-laced marijuana. My brain rejected it, and trauma ensued following days of misery with a semi-miserable life.
The first effect was a pounding on my upper spine. Something was going on there and it was making my vision strobe and I could feel every passage of blood through my body.
I sat at the computer, but something was wrong. My heart was racing and about to burst out of me. I could feel a disconnection in my ribcage, though this was purely mental. But my heart kept going faster and faster and my breathing got slower and slower - and then I realized, after counting it, my heartbeat had not changed at all, but my perception of it was twisted.
My hearing and other feelings became incredibly acute. I could hear every noise around me and shut whatever I could up. I felt my tongue in my mouth like it was a glistening unfamiliar thing. My vision began to trail and my head+neck movements were extremely robotic or poorly animated (changing positions in straight motions and then locking)
My dad noted that my door was open and earlier I was missing, and I did not answer on my cell - I had to convince him that I walked around outside to make a phonecall. He was already worried, because he closed it and locked it, but I think he got over it. However, I'm worried that I may have reeked of something when I came inside, and he may know what happened. My entire conversation with him was from a different angle, and I thought up the things I'd say only after I'd said them.
I did my best to be unnoticable - grabbed a granola bar and some 7up, and declared that I was gonna get some sleep early. (this was 6:30pm). I stood up when I got back to my room, but my eyes were covered by a transparent hand and I could feel a propeller on my head lifting me and taking weight off my spine. I sat down again - the feeling in my back from before intensified and I could, very sharply, feel wings on my back.
They were large and angelic, and I can describe them as being two parts. It was like the exact crossing between reality and unreality - the first was an extremely heavy bone to the wings, which was the part connected to my upper back. It was thick and branchlike and put alot of weight on my balance. But the rest was an infinity of thick white feathers, and I had a strong connection to each of them. I tried to move them and I could feel them going to a more outwards position. It was mindblowing - I tried to accept that it was a hallucination but the experience was too strong to be denied.
I tried to concentrate on something else. I put on a live jane's addiction set I downloaded, and it was strange - I didnt know any of the songs, but I know every jane's addiction song. Yet, I felt a strange connection to the music, and then turned and saw my guitar. I then saw myself pick it up, play 30 seconds, and put it down satisfied. The friends I had im’ed before had not answered yet so I played another 30 seconds. Repeat about 3 times, though the total time managed out to about 1 minute.
I got immediate advice to go to sleep from a friend online. It was like a virtual sitter: he got me to calm down first, then tried to make me ride it in a stable mental condition. I got under my covers and shut out all the lights, and then it really occurred to me just how ****ed my physical state was at the time. My heart raced again and my breathing seemed like very slow waves on a coastline. It was like being strangled - and when I opened my eyes, the conditions were normal.
I accepted the fact that, if I close my eyes, I will die. My parents would find me dead, heart stopped...their disappointing child. I would be torn away from my friend's lives. I'd had a miserable week, yet today seemed like an interesting day to die, so I closed my eyes and decided to see what it would show me.
My bed became a falling platform, descending at impossible speeds. I was falling, faster, further...but I opened my eyes and got my heart to slow down and my breathing to return. I had to sleep through this, so I closed my eyes again, and this time the experience was in reverse. The bed was ascending at incredible speeds, and my body was being forced against it. Gravity was crushing me against my ceiling.
Then, some very weak hallucinations - fond memories of an unknown place that really didnt exist - came up in my head and I layed there, remembering them for what felt like the entire night. I looked at the clock - 3 minutes had passed. But I fell asleep and sit here, 2:30 am, awake now. I have a lot of homework to do.
Having a fairly strong knowledge of hallucinogens and a strange interest in them, this was an unexpected experience and, at the moment, life changing. I feel detached, and the emotion of it is concentrated into my upper back. The experience with those wings was so real that I took my shirt off to check for signs of it. Nothing. I want the wings back but the fear that I felt, I do not want to experience again.
I'm puzzled now and mostly still in shock. What the **** happened last night? What the **** am I? Was it god I touched - why was that horrifying?
I am cold now and my parents are asleep. What will today bring? Will they know? What will I tell people? Who will I tell?
It is cold...
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