Citation: Chris. "Look at Yourself with New Eyes: An Experience with MDMA & Cannabis (exp28359)". Erowid.org. Jul 27, 2006. erowid.org/exp/28359
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Iíve wanted to try Ecstasy (X) for a long time now. Iíve been researching the pros and cons of the drug and the personal experiences from many different sources. After a lot of research I decided X was worth it. That said I would like to contribute my own experience.
First off, Iíd like to say that Iíve never tried any ďseriousĒ drugs before this experience. Iíve had plenty of alcohol and some weed on certain occasions. This is mainly because of the lack of opportunity to try them. No contacts, no supply, living in Tampere (Finland), etcÖ So Iím pretty much a newbie as far as drugs go. To the storyÖ
My friend (Matt) and I were staying with a mutual friend (Max) in London while on vacation. It was a Monday. We had bought 10 small white pills with a heart imprinted on each of them. In London X costs about 2-5 pounds (£) per pill and we were told that they arenít as strong as the ones normally found in America. I was very excited to try these pills and I was very much hoping that I wouldnít be disappointed by an impure pill or one containing just caffeine, etcÖ Matt and I took our first pill around 21:30.
The setting is in an apartment building above a pub. The apartment is like a dorm. There is a general kitchen and bathroom with many bedrooms belonging to different tenants. My friend Max was one of these tenants. Other people who live in this apartment come into play later so itís important to know this.
T + 1:00: I donít feel anything and am very disappointed. I talk to some people who have tried X before and they say itís possibly because I had eaten a full meal 2 hours earlier or because they werenít X or were just really weak. I still have hope but not much. So Matt and I take another pill.
T + 1:30: Matt says he feels a little different. Kind of like heís feeling tiny waves of happiness and euphoria washing over him. Very mildly though. I feel nothing.
T + 2:00: I still feel nothing, but my friend feels the waves a little more but itís still mild. We both take another pill.
T + 2:30: I notice Iím becoming more and more restless and talkative. Matt is looking like he feels good and says he feels sorry for me that Iím not feeling what heís feeling. I decide that Iíll try and concentrate on what Iím feeling so Iíll feel it stronger. I have become quite disappointed with X as I am not feeling what the people said they felt in their experiences. I thought maybe its just not working with my body chemistry.
T + 3:00: Matt and I are in the same state as before but we decide to take another pill because basically we felt like it. Matt was definitely feeling good about something so I guess it was working for him. I was pondering why it feels good for him and why it doesnít feel much like anything to me. But then I notice I just really want to talk and open up to my 2 friends. We talk and I feel good.
T + 3:30: I feel damn good. I mean really really good. Max who has tried it before tells me to rub my feet on the floor. So Iím sitting there on the bed in Maxís room rubbing my bare feet against the carpet. Itís amazing how such a simple tiny little action can feel so good. I was rubbing my feet on the carpet for an hour ďooohingĒ and ďaaaahingĒ in ecstasy.
I lose track of time so I can no longer tell you how long Iíve been doing what and when I did it but I can still remember what I did.
I go over to my friend Matt and we rub each others feet because it feels so good. We are very open and happy. We are both straight guys but we donít feel any need to feel weird about touching each other and rubbing each other. Normally this would never happen. We must have been rubbing each others feet for 30 minutes. It was so nice to touch and to be touched. There was nothing sexual about it, just feeling good.
After a while Max goes to another room. We wonder where heís disappeared to and go search for him. We find him in Eddieís room. Eddie is one of the tenants across from Maxí room. Eddie is an experienced X user as well as some other drugs. He is told what weíre on and is happy to let us in his room to listen to music and just be. I wiggle on the floor because it feels so good to rub my back against the floor. And Matt is sitting on a couch staring at nothing with a huge smile on his face.
So far we really hadnít listened to music during the X trip. And I love dance/trance music normally so this is a shame. Eddie decides to put on Faithless Ė Salva Mea for us. This music sounds absolutely wonderful. I get up and attempt to dance. I notice my coordination is lacking but I donít care and I eventually get with the beat. At that moment I wished I was at a club dancing with lots of people and this music and cool colored lights flashing. That would have been perfect at the moment.
After the song finishes Eddie offers us a spliff. OOOOOOOHHH! That was soooo smooth. The smoke didnít feel like anything in my lungs but my head sure felt it. It was like a little extra boost in the good feeling I was having. I feel very good.
After a while Eddie says we have to leave because he has to sleep so we do and thank him for his generosity and hospitality.
We go back to Maxí room. And just talk and rub our feet on the floor.
My friend has to go to the bathroom to piss. He comes back and says how hard it was to piss. This makes me have to piss. So I go to the bathroom and piss. I had no problem. In fact it felt good. It was the best piss Iíd ever taken. My legs shook because it felt so good. As Iím leaving the bathroom I happen to look into the mirror. WHOA! My pupils were freakiní huge. It was cool. It was fun to look at yourself with new eyes.
I go back to the room and lie on the bed and stare at the ceiling. The ceilings design is white with little bumps all over it like many other ceilings. I stare that this and the bumps seem to move around like a kaleidoscope. This is interesting because my friend Matt also sees this. After staring at it for a while I focus more on the ceiling light and squint my eyes not because itís bright but because I feel like it. In this squint-eyed vision I see colors pouring down onto me. From the top of my eyes a light pink color is pouring down like water onto me. From the bottom a light green is pouring down onto me. Right before they ďfall onto meĒ (only in a visual sense) they mix together and itís so pretty the green and pink mixing but not blending. Itís so beautiful. I describe it to my friends as ďlove is falling down on meĒ.
I get up and decide to sit by the open window. The cool breeze feels so good on me. I sit in a chair rubbing my feet on the ground with the cool breeze blowing against me and I ooh and aah in pleasure. It feels like a full body orgasm without the sex. It felt better than sex because it just lasts so long.
I look at the clock and its 5:30 in the morning. I was so surprised. Earlier it felt like 10 minutes was an hour and now it appears that short periods of time were in fact long.
Itís also worth mentioning that speech is very difficult. You want to talk and when you can remember what youíre talking about you talk so much. But short term memory is seriously disabled when it comes to speech. I would start a sentence and then half way through say ďWhat was I talking about?Ē. And I must have done that with every other sentence.
Before my X high was over I was told by my friends that it is cool to lie down and try to sleep. So I gave it a shot. At first I didnít feel like sleeping at all and I wanted to be up doing things, but then something strange happened. I started dreaming. I was dreaming very vividly while semi-awake. I was talking in my dream-like state. Every time I would say something to the people in my dreams I would wake up and my friends would look at me weird. I woke myself up at least 4 different times in this way until I finally fell asleep.
The next day I felt happy and very content to just lie in bed all day and that is just what we did.
This is my experience with MDMA. I hope you enjoyed it. Itís very hard to get all the necessary details to explain this trip. I donít think Iíve ever felt so good.
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