Citation: Dr. taint. "Seizure-like Experience: An Experience with H.B. Woodrose (exp24412)". Erowid.org. Jun 10, 2003. erowid.org/exp/24412
Let me start off by saying that I thought since these were relatively obscure and legal that I wasn't going to have much of an experience. Was that ever a stupid assumption.
Upon receiving a mailorder of the seeds along with some ayahuasca, me and my friend Suzie decided to try the seeds right then and there because we figured unlike ayahuasca we wouldn't need to excersize a lot of care and planning.
[5:45] after scraping off the coating of 5 seeds each, we chewed them up and held them under our tongues for 15 minutes. We were planning on spitting them out after that to avoid nausea and then decided to just swallow them. My wife who we will call 'driver' drove me, suzie and suzie's sister to a nearby lake about 40 minutes away from our place.
[6:00-6:30] it's a hot ass day outside (95 degrees), sun is beating down. Starting to feel some subtle effects, mostly just nausea but not overpowering nausea. Driving on very windy roads to the lake, trying not to get sick. Mood is generally excited and happy.
[6:40] we arrive at the lake, and upon getting out and walking I really started feeling the effects. I felt kind of weak and ticklish around my knees and my upper legs felt stiff, like I had just excersized. Objects appear very funny and take on personality much like on mushrooms. I am pleased that I'm tripping off of just 5 seeds (I read that was a low dose). We get in the water and swim out to the buoy and it feels fantastic. Sun is reflecting off the water and sparkling everywhere. I lie on my back with my ears submerged and just my face sticking out and swim backwards looking at the sky..total tranquility. As I reach the buoy I feel like the trip was already ending. It seemed that being in the water made me completely unaware of the effects. My imagination seemed to be having a field day..as I swam to shore, ears submerged listening to the hum + swishing sounds of the water I distinctly imagine myself in my mothers womb. I got to shore and as I'm climbing out into the air I had this evolutionary vision of walking on to shore for the first time. Almost as soon as I get out of the water the effects come rushing back.
[7:20-8:00] this was a very confusing part of the trip. The effects strengthened (very strong body buzz, general surreal feeling) and I was in one of those states where I was anxious and pacing, then lying down and trying to form a thought in my head to no avail. I felt kind of vaguely sad and introverted, and the nausea was bothering me a bit (but not enough to puke). Again I can't really pull an emotion into mind, I can't really tell how I am feeling. I was in a strange stupor that I haven't felt before on any other popular drugs. At this point I kind of wanted the experience to end because it was no longer pleasant. I decided lying on my back and being sad was going to throw me into a bad trip so I tried to make small talk with my other friend who is tripping, and we went and looked at an ant colony and talked about ants.
[8:20] we decide to leave because we have to go meet a friend back in town. I begin to feel good again and the mood is happy amongst everyone. Then I begin to feel very nice ecstasy like rushes of pleasure. We put on Sonic Youth in the car and the music is fantastic. I would say at this point I am peaking. I can compare the feeling to mushrooms, ecstasy and marijuana but not exactly like either of those. its a very euphoric drunk trippy feeling. The nausea has not subsisted however and at times I begin to worry how this drug is affecting my brain as I have had major depression problems when I used to use ecstasy. I become worried that after I come down I will REALLY come down and go into a severe depression like I had experienced with ecstasy. I then begin thinking about how there has been almost no reasearch on the effects of this drug and that I might be permanently damaging my brain, etc, each paranoid thought leading into another.
[9:00] I finally brush off these negative feelings and enjoy the waves of pleasure and driving down the dark road at night I feel like I'm drifting in space as the sky merges with the asphalt. I'm really enjoying this, and then all of the sudden I get a wave of severe panic out of absolutely NOWHERE. This is very frightening and I want it all to end, and then another wave of panic and insanity I can't even begin to explain, like my brain glitched and locked up...and then I get horrible vertigo and pin pricks all over my body, I feel myself losing consciousness, I feel like I'm poisoned and am dying right there, I wan't to tell them to take me to the hospital. all of this is in total silence as I don't want to amplify the trauma by making everyone else in the car panic. So I sit there wanting to die, feeling completely insane in silence and then I feel the overwhelming urge to vomit, and I manage to tell the driver to pull over.
I vomit many times outside of the window and kind of hang there trying to gather myself after this horrible moment. I am in a cold sweat and pretty traumatized by what just happened..I've never experienced sheer terror and insanity like that in any drug I've ever had, not with lsd, mushrooms, ecstasy, or anything else. And it appeared to come out of nowhere like a seizure. it scared me absolutely shitless, and for the rest of the ride I am sitting there in silence trying to recover from what just happened and wondering if I blew a fuse. I feel terrible for putting my wife in this position and for giving the seeds to another human being. I feel stupid for recklessly taking something I only know about from internet forums.
[9:20] we get to our destination and I am lying on the sidewalk being comforted by my wife (god bless her) and am slowly coming back to reality. I am feeling more and more sane and happy that I got through that moment without hurting myself or having to go to the hospital and creating a real catastrophe. I begin feeling very excited to be alive and happy that it was over. I spend the next few hours hanging out with close friends and thanking god that the whole thing is over, and am able to laugh about it.
Overall I would say that it was a beautiful experience but also terrifying. I don't know what happened to me when I had that episode, but I know thats NEVER happened to me before in my life, and I wanted it to end so desperately that had I been any more fucked up I might have done something crazy. So I advise anyone to respect these seeds and DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THEM!!!! I have had 'real' drugs that didn't even touch the potency of these seeds. Also don't make the mistake of referencing other peoples experiences to predict yours, everyone is different. These may sound like regurgitated warnings but I have found them to be true. I wouldn't sit here and type this out if I didn't feel an absolute responsibility to do so after last night. be safe & take care of eachother!
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