Citation: Unformed. "Mentally Blown for 24 Hours: An Experience with DiPT & Cacti (San Pedro) (exp23917)". Erowid.org. Jan 16, 2008. erowid.org/exp/23917
| T+ 9:30
I dosed around 50-60 mg of a small sample of DiPT around 4pm on a Monday afternoon. Having read the reports in TIHKAL and other Erowid/Lycaeum trip reports, it seemed that after about 100mg the trip began to get extremely interesting, but before that point there wasn't much to it. As I only had a free sample given to me, that's all I took, and was simply expecting to have a mildly interesting afternoon, not a mind-blowing experience. Boy, was I in for a fucking surprise.
About 15 minutes after dosing, I begin to twitch, and also realized that something in my perception was wrong, couldn't tell what, but something was just not right. I went and watched TV for a little while, then decided to go smoke some weed. I packed about a small bowl's worth and upon doing that, my perceptions were getting even more weird, pretty much like the beginning of an acid trip, but not quite as clean. I decided to go into an open clearing in the middle of the woods (about a five minute walk from my house) where we often go when we're tripping. While going there, I began to have extreme fits of paranoia, thinking that people could see me while I was walking to the clearing. I began to walk extremely slow and low to the ground. When I finally got there, I began to relax, took off my clothes and pretty much just sunbathed either on a table or a blanket, switching every few minutes.
Looking sideways I could focus in on different parts of the ground, grass, trees, and pretty much feel like I was taking the viewpoint of different animals. The trees above me were swaying towards me and seemed extremely menacing, but at this point I was still sane enough to understand that I was only tripping and wasn't too worried about it. I was getting restless and moving around in the clearing, and still had a little paranoia, but that was eased when I laid down on the ground. Then a plane few overhead. This greatly increased the paranoia as I began to think the police were watching me and I really didn't want them to run in here and find me naked in the middle of the forest.
So, I decided to put my clothes back on and continue relaxing. However, not too long later, another plane few overhead. As we live close to an airport, this wasn't unusual at all, but in my state of my mind, I begin to panic. All that kept going through my head was that when the cops bust in here, even though I'm not really doing anything wrong, I'm still sitting in the middle of the fucking jungle with no reason whatsoever, and how the fuck can I explain it. So, I decided, what the hell, I'm going back home.
At our house, I was pretty much just really tweaked and weirded out, but didn't mind it too much. After all, I was expecting it to end in not too long of a time. I went in and watched some more TV, which made no sense whatsoever, and then asked one of my friends if he wanted to smoke some weed. So both of us along with one other person went off to smoke some more. While smoking, they noticed that I was constantly twitching, and kept saying 'Man look at him he's fucked up!' and were laughing. I began to get even more fits of paranoia, thinking that the two were scheming against me and trying to fuck with me, so I left in a fit of rage and confusion.
I went in my room, and read up on more reports of DiPT, trying to figure out what was going on, but couldn't make much sense of anything. Then, I decided to lay in my bed and listen to some Pink Floyd. The music flew extremely smoothly and I could feel myself pretty much riding with the sounds waves. (The auditory part of the drug wasn't affecting music for some reason.) After about an hour or so, somewhere around 8:00 I decided to take a shower. In the seven minutes, I was in the shower, I realized a few things,
1) that whatever I learned here I could not take back, and that's just the way it is, and if I know too much about this (psychedelic) world, I will have to stay here. Around this time (though maybe earlier) my brain began to split up into two distinct minds: the sane part that knew everything would be alright and the tripping part which was beginning to understand the meaning of life, and wanted to tell it to the sane part, but didn't want to get stuck here.
2) I had to stop tripping. This was it. I had to stop fucking my mind unless I wanted to get stuck here with chattering teeth and panic and paranoia. At this point, though, my sane part of the mind was still winning, by saying, 'hey shut up, it'll all be over within two hours or so'.
The shower was extremely 'orgasmic', and I felt much better coming out of it, although I knew that this was it, that I couldn't trip again for a while, although another part of my mind just laughed and said, that was a lie and I knew it, that I'd be back, because the tripping folk ('trippenfolk' as it was in my mind) can't tell the sane folk what the psychedelic world is like, and the sane folk always want to know. I felt ok, not panicky or paranoid, but just destroyed, worn out, as if I was told the meaning of the universe, and it turned out it was just a fucking joke, that in the end, it meant absolutely nothing.
Not too long later one of my friends called me up and asked if I wanted to eat San Pedro (mescaline) that night. I said, no, cuz I wasn't going to dose anymore, but I'd at least hang out with them, as I'd much rather be around tripping people, who share my state of mind, than non-tripping people. So I was about to jump in my car and drive over there (which, I didn't realize then, but would have been an extremely bad idea). On the way to my car, I met another friend and asked him if he wanted to eat mescaline, and he said sure, and off we went in his car.
The ride to their apartment made me feel much better, and I decided, fuck it, I'll dose on mescaline as well. We get there, and three people are preparing the cactus. During this time, since I am completely nonfunctional, I'm pretty just throwing in Pink Floyd records, and listening to the music, feeling ok. I was a bit restless, and kinda felt like shit that I wasn't helping cut the cactus, but then when I tried to help, I couldn't do anything, so would go back to laying on the couch and listening to the music.
At about 1:30am, they finally finish making the tea and we head over to the original house, as there's more land area and also the jungle, which is conducive to tripping. We go there, and I spend most of the time just dancing in circles or driving around the yard and listening to music. I would later realize that the key to me not panicing would be to hold a tune in my head. Anyways, we're just chilling for a couple of hours, but the mescaline never really hits anybody. Maybe slightly, but not any decent effect. We're still up around 6am, when I say we should hit the beach and see sunrise, since we don't often see that. We stop by their apartment again and pick up some pot brownies, and then go the beach.
At this time I was not expecting to be tripping at all, as it was about 13-14 hours after I had first ingested the DiPT, and also the mescaline didn't really hit anybody, although I do understand that in my case, it may have just extended the trip. However, as the sun came up and I looked around and saw the clouds, I knew something was extremely wrong. The clouds were not normal free flowing clouds. The were two-dimensional objects fixed in space. And then I realized I was still fucking tripping. This is when my sane part began to lose control. One part of me was screaming 'what the fuck did you do to yourself?' and 'How the fuck long are you going to be stuck here?' while the other part was screaming 'Shut up, I'll read up some more reports online when we get home and see how long this can last.'
I decide to go swimming to ease the mind, and mostly just paced back and forth in the water, as it was still relatively cold. However, as I was pacing, I'd see my friends, and think 'fuck i want to go back there and chill with them and be normal again.' but when I'd go back, I couldn't understand anything they were saying (my hearing was fucked by this point) and thought they were scheming about me. Furthermore, I noticed that the sand was made of skulls and bones, and it pissed me off because I knew they weren't and I didn't want to see skulls and bones. However, no matter how closely I looked at the sand, that's all it would be. So I'd head back to the water, and so on.
As the sun began to rise, it pretty much confirmed everything that I had decided I had so far learned, specifically that it was the representation of life, and it was beautiful, but in the end it amounted to absolutely nothing, that is was the whole system playing a practical joke on itself, and the more I realized it and learned about it, I didn't want to know anymore, and I wanted to go back to my normal life, and goddamn it, why the fuck am I STILL TRIPPING 18 HOURS LATER?
My friends asked me if I was alright, but all I could answer was I want this to be over. It was beautiful, no doubt, but I simply didn't want to be here anymore. As the sun finally showed it self, I stared at it to figure out whatever there was to figure out. As it came higher and higher, I began to see spirals and various symbols coming out of the sun. All the clouds and waves seemed to be coming out of the sun as well. A plane flew overhead, which reminded me of the clearing the day before, and I realized that it was all a big fucking joke, that it all meant nothing.
Finally, I decided to jump in the water and confirm this in another manner. So I went swimming and began to ride the waves. Of course, it felt great, but in the end end, amounted to nothing: 'Everything Grand and Beautiful simply amounts to the Cosmic Splooge'.
Finally, we returned home, at which point I tried to read up and find out how long this would last. Eventually, I somewhat calmed myself, but both parts of my mind joined in that I simply didn't want to be here anymore. I decided to just lay on the couch until it went away, and if, in another six hours or so, I was still here, I don't know what the fuck I'd do. So, I sat on the couch, and for the next couple hours I was tweaked out, watching TV from a reflection on the cupboard, unable to understand anything at all that was going on. Eventually, around 4pm (24 hours after initial ingestion) I began to feel semi-normal. I ended up watching a movie although couldn't pay much attention to it. After the others woke up, they gave me a lift back home. However, I have been unable to sleep at all. It's been 36 hours now, and I'm still not tired.
I don't know why it hit so hard on me; it may be my physiology, or it may be the mescaline combined with the DiPT, although I doubt the latter, since none of my friends got any intense effects from it. Anyways, my personal opinion is that DiPT has a lot of potential, alrought it's dosage may vary widely within a lot of people. Furthermore, and especially on a high dose, I'd much rather be with friends who are also tripping. The worst part of my experience was the length and the fact that I was going solo. I believe that the panicking and the paranoia could have been averted had I tripped amongst friends and also if I had been prepared for the length of it.
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