Citation: Indigo. "The Happiest Chemical High Ever: An Experience with Morphine & MDMA (ID 21670)". Erowid.org. Dec 18, 2005. erowid.org/exp/21670
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This is my account of a crazy experience I had a few weekends ago. I decided I would post because there are relatively few reports dealing with an Mdma/opiate combo, also because there isn’t a lot of info on booty bumping (taking Mdma rectally). I should note that I am on Clarinex 5 mg. once daily for allergies. I also take a multivitamin with a good dose of vitamin C twice daily. I am 175 lb, 6’ male at 19 years of age.
I embark to Wal-mart on a Saturday night with a crew of 3 females: L, M, and S, who are all 18 years of age. We are killing time, preparing for good roll later as soon as our other companion, R, gets off work at 2 am. On the way there, M busts out a fat sack of quality buds and we proceed to smoke 2 bowls between the four of us. We are all exceptionally stoned, except L, who took a few less hits because she was driving.
I am very much looking forward to a fun night. R has been a comrade since elementary school. I have known these girls with the exception of S (who I met the day earlier) for a almost a year now. They are my roll buddies, awesome friends and great people to drop MDMA with. The pre-existing bonds of friendship I share with them are greatly accentuated by this drug.
For the past couple days or so I have been contemplating dropping two tablets of morphine along with the MDMA I planned on taking this evening. The friend that gave me the morphine does not smoke herb, but knowing that I do, he gave me the pills and told me the guy he got them from said they are exceptionally great with a few hits of grass. He informed me that when he took two of these pills alone, it wasn’t too profound an experience. I tried to find some info on this combo, and the lack of it was probably what pushed me to try it. I am almost always down to try a new combination. I decide that I already know the pills will go good with my pot high, and it seems like they would go well with the chill/relaxed feeling I get from MDMA. I am not one to drop and go to a rave, or want to dance. MDMA does not make me wired. I take the two pills.
We leave Wal-mart after getting kicked out for attempting to ride some shopping carts around in the store. I think to myself we should have tried outside first, that it would have been very fun. I am still buzzed from the pot, and I begin feeling a little queasy, which confuses me until I realize that I hadn’t eaten since mid-day and I had recently ingested some pain-reliever type drugs. I immediately ask M for an ice cream out of the box she had bought inside. I remember eating the large drumstick slowly, enjoying every last bite (remember I am pretty stoned here). Shortly thereafter the queasy feeling subsided. Wow that was good ice cream. Now that I have had some time to reflect, I think what actually happened was that the pain relieving part of the drug kicked in and I didn’t feel the pain my stomach was actually going thru. I will elaborate on this later. I never get queasy from pills of almost any kind.
We arrive at L’s house, who’s parents are out of town. This is a very large, comfortable home in a suburban neighborhood. I have been here before, I am looking forward to a good, chill atmosphere with close friends. We decide we will drop our pills now, since R will be here in about 20 minutes, and X always hits him way before everyone else. I go to my goody bag and pull out the pills. They are pink ladies (or called medusa, depending on who you get them from). I had sampled these the weekend before at a party, which was my first time booty bumping. The roll was very intense, I bumped one pill with a little saliva as lube and as soon as I felt its effects, I swallowed one more pill. MDMA usually hits me after about 30 to 45 minutes, although rectal administration cuts about 10 off of that. This was PLENTY of ecstasy for me. I had earlier decided that I would do the same routine tonight. I bump a pill in the bathroom and return to the living room where everyone else swallows a pill. Not 2 minutes after I bump, I sit down on a bar stool in the kitchen and WHAMO! The morpine hits me like a ton of bricks, or lack thereof. I immediately decide a couch is a better place for me to be. I am numb, both in body and mind. My thoughts are slow… exaaaaagerraaaateddd da da da…. I am happy…. and I know I had a silly grin on my face. I tell the girls that if one of them hit me, it really wouldn’t hurt! They reply with something like, yeah, you took morpine, duh. This is a very obvious idea now, I wonder why I hadn’t thought of it before.
I am now in a very drugged up state, very dreamy and sleepy, kinda cozy. Comparable to the satisfied, relaxed state you are in right before you dose off after a long, busy day. I amuse myself by pondering the issue of pain. I push on my forearm as hard as I can, because I lack the energy… actually the motivation, to hit myself. I chuckle slowly and quietly. It seems as though every movement is slowed down to where a simple task like reaching a glass takes 30 seconds. I didn’t actually move this way, it just felt like it. I am very thirsty at this point. I decide pushing on my arm is rather pointless, I cannot feel it. I remember hoping this somehow doesn’t fuck with the tactile pleasure of MDMA, something I always become immersed in when rolling with these girls.
I did not really like this high, I prefer my thoughts to be… how can I describe it… not so much accelerated, but more of ‘different’ or ‘branched’ than normal. I prefer psychedelics over amphetamines for this reason, and I will now include opiates. If one wasn’t generally happy and content with life, and wanted a means of escape, this may be something one could potentially become addicted to. If I was in any kind of physical pain though, this morphine/pot synergy would be the way to go!
I can feel the MDMA come on in the midst of being already very high. The rush I get from MDMA is there. When I do ecstasy, it seems like when I’m waiting for it to kick in, there is a certain breath of air that I breath during which the pill just reaches out and slaps me in the face. It's definitely not a gradual onset. This is probably because I skip the meal before MDMA, or occasionally chew the pill and hold it in my mouth with water. Yeah I know, disgusting, but the taste doesn’t really bother me. I’ve noticed that when I have a glass or two of water in my belly at the time that I drop, whether or not I chew up the pill, it hits me a little quicker.
The X almost instantly pulls me out of the numb state I was feeling, accelerating my thoughts back up to ‘normal’. A different exaggeration is there. I feel very empathetic, maybe a little more so than when I drop X alone.
R arrives and immediately swallows 1 ˝ hits.
We all are feeling very high right now, all of us having come up rather quickly. I find when you are in an intimate setting with friends, doing X, it doesn’t take long. It never really fails. After about 10-15 minutes someone will say, “I feel it!! I’m really rolling, (insert fun whacky noise here)!!” And then of course they act silly, parading around laughing, asking for vicks, a massage of some sort, etc, etc. Then of course everyone else witnesses this activity and imitates it or participates, quickening the onset on a mental level. Always fun.
We move upstairs after smoking another bowl (maybe 2??) of the same premium buds. Now the real fun starts. I being the comfy fanatic that I am brought ALL of my oh-so-precious bedding for this occasion. This includes a queen size down featherbed; four (yes, 4) king size down blankets, and ~10 down pillows. Talk about cozy. We are all generally liberal people here, and it doesn’t take long for us to end up with all our clothes to be off, excluding boxers for the guys and panties for the females.
So we lay out all my stuff on the floor upstairs and begin what will more or less go on for the rest of the night, what we termed “the comfy orgy”. We take turns, sometimes pairing off, meandering into the type of meaningful conversations, general giggling, and physical indulgement characteristic of the group when rolling. None in the group have any relationship type of connections with the others, so discussions on this subject are a commonplace.
We enjoy physical stimulation of any kind with any of the group. We take turns, one at a time, laying flat on the cloud-bed. Full body massages by the other four at once follow. My tactile sensation is increased… wow is all I can say about this aspect. I feel somewhat of a ‘on the nod’ feeling. As if I am dreaming. The high is so comfortable, sleepy, sexy, and pleasurable. The numb feeling paired with the empathogenic quality of E synergize nicely. This is by far the happiest, chemical induced high I have attained. Feelings of physical and mental bliss flow through me, enveloping me in any little activity. I think about the fact that I am very happy with myself for being able to enjoy the small things in life (meaning outside of drug-induced states). I am a very happy, content with my life kinda person already, and the high devouring my body, nay, my soul, goes so well with my present pronunciation of the world around me. I do acknowledge that in the wrong situation, this may be a high that one who wasn’t generally happy as I could abuse.
After playing with a balloon of nitrous to its full extent, I move a few feet away from the others of the group and begin to think, meditate, etc. I become devoured by a strong feeling of content and happiness concerning my 19 year old life. I am enthused about the things going on for me currently and begin to contemplate my current state in the world. Like I said, the content feeling brought on by the drugs went extremely well with the already present feelings I feel every day. That’s another thing I think X is great for, reinforcing present ideas and permitting a certain mental openness inside you that allows complete and open contemplation of ones state of being. I don’t ever feel as if X is brings on fake feelings for me, even when I’m not rolling I am a big teddy bear, and very open concerning my emotions in the face of interpersonal relations with others. I say what I mean and I mean what I say.
At this point I’m pretty sure I was peaking of all the drugs at once. I actually was getting a little bit of a visual kick off the drugs. A computer was set up right next to us playing some dancy-trip-hop-ravy kind of music. I pulled my 3D glasses out of the goody bag and began to stare at the swirling screensavers pulsing to the music. The music had a sort of dreamy quality that I get when I do E. I was really, really happy, and numb at the same time. A great combo to succumb to and have wash you around your conscious mind. I decide its time to dive a little deeper.
I remove the 3D glasses, lay back, and close my eyes. Everyone else is a few feet away, licking grape and lime Popsicles off each other. I remember thinking about how fun that looked, but I knew I had even better in store for myself. These group members are fairly experienced with X, but not with the psychonautical level of shrooms or acid that I have loved. I begin to meditate into what I will refer to as my space. I should note that in proper situations, with regulated sleep (which I don’t get often), concentration (or as I like to describe it the lack of) I can fall into a level of my own mind, without the aid of psychotropic drugs. Some might call it meditation or lucid dreaming, but to me its really beyond any description I could put here in words. Somehow in my life I have cracked open the door to my unconscious mind, and am able to occasionally jump into it to play around. I am fully aware of the location of my physical body and what is happening around me, but I appear to be sleeping. My mind is inside itself. I am able to manifest a virtual dreamscape to play in. This is extremely fun to me, I can best describe it as my own version of a mental Halodeck out of Star Trek. I enjoy playing around with my inner child, my love for family, and various emotions, all of which manifest themselves into beings in order for me to relate and communicate with them easier. I imagine it’s easier to have a conversation with your inner child if in your mind you are talking to an actual child instead of an all-knowing powerful aura or presence. The latter are always present and fun to play with as well though… I often feel my mind traveling in the rooms or area I’m in, touching on the emotions, vibes, and auras I observe from others.
This particular combination of drugs was by far the best in aiding me to slip into this state. The night after X always produces this state for me, and I think the ‘nod’ characteristics of the opiate and relaxing qualities of the bud helped as well to call it out. Simply put, I laid back and within ~30 seconds I was there. I fell into it, void of all effort. I feel connected with those in the room, as if we are all one mind sharing these exact same feelings of bliss with each other and savoring every second of it. I decide that I would like to get back with my friends and have a good time. The night continues, mostly blurs of content, empathy, sexuality, pleasure, tactile sensation, conversation, comfiness, and all around happiness.
My last memory of the night was lying back in L’s bed w/ everyone, smoking more pot. I would go on the nod and start dreaming regular dreams, only to be awoken by S handing me a pipe of herb. I don’t think she, or anyone else knew that I was basically awake and dreaming at that point. I know we fell asleep somewhere around here. I slept next to two of the girls… sleeping next to someone is one of the best feelings in the world to me, and the rest of this crew. I slept so well.. wow…
4:30 pm, the next day
I wake up. I get up and go out into the kitchen/living room, where pretty much everyone else is up except M, who ended up sleeping until 9:30pm. About 30 seconds after I get up, I feel the ----void---- in my stomach. Oh shit. There isn’t ANY food in my stomach, except for a drumstick, since lunch the day earlier. Pair that with a night of hefty drug use, I’m thinking especially with pill opiates, and that means trouble. I ask L to get me a bagel while I sit in the bathroom and throw water on my face. I feel horrible. What the fuck is going on?? I begin to sweat profusely. I look in the mirror and think about how horrible I look. I take one bite of the bagel and throw up, which never happens to me. I dry heave a little. Wow that’s painful. Ech I haven’t done that since I was a little kid. I decide a shower is a good idea. I begin sipping water to try to get something in me. By the time I get out of the shower I feel more or less normal, but very confused as to why I slept so peacefully and woke up with an instantaneous, almost violently sick fit of illness. I manage to get down a bagel and I feel fine. The whole feeling lasted about 30 minutes. Could it have been from taking the pills on an empty stomach?? I don’t know. I will definitely make sure not to test it next time, and I recommend anyone reading this considering such an experiment, do the same.
In closing, I would highly recommend this combination of drugs to anyone thinking about it. The synergy present with pot/X/morphine just built on itself over and over again. Expect to be stationary… although I had no problem moving up or downstairs for little things like water. You will need a lot of the latter as well, cottonmouth, E-mouth, and something from the opiate made me pretty thirsty the entire night. The set and setting for this combo was perfect, I don’t think I could have had any better. In retrospective I probably could have done less of all these drugs and had just as great an experience, but I ingested my pills in some way or another before I could tell how hard they were going to hit me. I was never uncomfortable thoughout the night, I don’t think I could have been if I tried. In a few words: happy, numb, and tactile and relaxed would describe this experience nicely.
Know your drugs, plan ahead, be safe, and have a good time. Sorry about the length of the report, I really hope this helps somebody. Peace, Indigo
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