Citation: Lan. "Mentalmorphosis: An Experience with Cannabis (exp20629)". Erowid.org. Nov 24, 2005. erowid.org/exp/20629
I am writing this to share some of my experiences with marijuana; a drug that is in my opinion, extremely under studied and highly misunderstood. It was this very plant that first pried me from reality as I once knew it, unraveled the very fibers of my consciousness, and for that I am ever grateful. It takes a drug-induced experience to truly reveal the potential of the human mind. I sincerely believe we all have the ability to interact with a multitude of altered mindframes; each one unique, each one with something to offer, and we are deluding ourselves by refusing to accept this. My endeavors with marijuana have taught me this; to limit one's consciousness is to deprive one's self. Reality is essentially multi-faceted; there is so much more to life that remains unexplored by many of us, and psychoactives serve to inform us of these vast possibilities.
Ever since the first inhalation, I had been intrigued by the effects of marijuana. I am not a spiritual person, and yet I would certainly describe the marijuana high as nothing short of 'enlightening'. Being a man whose religion consists of logic and reason, marijuana shook the foundation of my straight and narrow principles; I had been very anti-drug prior to experimenting with marijuana, and saw no value in altering my 'perfect' neurochemistry. Little did I know that I was far from perfection, and that the first introduction of cannabinoids into my body would gradually blossom into something which until this day, fascinates me.
I did not learn much from my first encounters with the drug. Being unaccustomed, my memory was very jaded, and I could not recall specific emotions and thoughts whilst under the influence. The only solution to this age-old dilemma, as I have now discovered, is to continue using it. The brain has a wonderful way with chemical intervention; it can adapt and respond in a more positive fashion once it has been exposed to a substance for a prolonged period of time. As of now, 2 years after my first sketchy encounters, my ability to recall thought has dramatically improved while under the influence, as have other aspects. My motor function still remains impaired, but only to a slight degree. When I concentrate, I find that I can still exhibit controlled dexterity with tasks such as drawing or percussion, both very rewarding whilst high. But when I am in a situation where I can release my focus and simply let the drug take over, such as in the shower, something peculiar occurs. I feel almost as if each and every part of my body is fixed to an axis, and my movement is restricted to rhythmic, repetitive cycles. I can easily control this feeling, but I see no reason to, for I do enjoy it, strange as it may sound. I also become aware of a sort of separation between body and mind. My body becomes a mere minion of my brain, a robotic mass of rhythmic muscle contraction; difficult to describe in words. In all their peculiarity, it is during these occurrences that I can let my mind roam free. I can only achieve this during times when I am alone, and for me, the shower seems to be the ideal area for cannabis-inspired contemplation. My imagination has no horizon; I spontaneously jump from one random thought to another, most of which manifest a type of creativity which I normally do not possess. I can always seem to generate a series of random imagery at will, and the clarity with which I can envision them is beyond what I can accomplish sober. The only negatives that present themselves are the fact that much of these thoughts and images are indeed random and in fast succession, and it is difficult to process them so that I may recall them later. I am adapting to this; slowly bringing back more and more thoughts and feelings from the marijuana experience, and although not all of them are of use, I find it quite intriguing, if not a little befuddling. Long trains of spontaneous, creative thought are typically not in my character.
Much of what I think and do while high on marijuana is quite out of character for me. I undergo what I call a 'mentalmorphosis'; a change very difficult for others to detect, even those very close to me, for it is of purely cerebral nature. The way in which I convey myself seldom changes even when I am overly intoxicated, yet there are differences in my mannerisms that are so intricate as to only be recognized by myself. I will show a greater interest in the arts at times, especially music, art, even cooking. A song will have much more depth, lyrics and instruments tend to embody emotions that can only seem to be derived while high. The effect of sound and its ability to evoke thought and feeling are heightened. A good work of art will open itself up when beholded through enlightened eyes; this could be a painting, literature, a movie. And cooking becomes a journey, a quest motivated by the will to create something worthy of my taste. My lack of cooking skill does not allow me to develop anything special, but the pleasure of eating while high can make any culinary monstrosity taste exceptional. The taste sensations experienced under the influence of marijuana are quite astounding to me, I would say that it is the sense most adversely affected. Deep fried foods release their warm, oily flavors, and their crunchiness is exemplified. Mashed potatoes have a profound smooth, earthy texture, and meats feel pleasurably moist and firm against the teeth, and the list goes on. It takes longer for me to finish a meal, simply because flavor sensations become more intense, and I will savor them almost to excess. I remember consuming a bowl of popcorn one night, one kernel after another, tasting each one individually, because that was all that was necessary.
These are just a few of the effects of marijuana that I find particularly interesting. There is indeed much to be learned as to the limits of human perception. As I have concluded from my usage of the drug, there really is no limit to be spoken of; only factors which cause limitation. In this day and age, the media strikes me as one such factor, spreading mass amounts of unsupported claims and misinterpretation. I do, however, see this as a waning trend; society is slowly becoming more informed. My relationship with this profound plant still progresses, and I am continuing in my efforts to make sense of the drug's impact upon my thought and feeling. I hope one day to be able to harness the power of marijuana, to strive ever forward in my passion to seek alternate levels of consciousness. We have only one life to live; why not live it a variety of different ways?
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