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I Learned to Stop Reality and Love Psychedelics
Huasca Combo (Syrian Rue & A. phlebophylla)
by Dr. DMT
Citation:   Dr. DMT. "I Learned to Stop Reality and Love Psychedelics: An Experience with Huasca Combo (Syrian Rue & A. phlebophylla) (exp1769)". Erowid.org. Jun 12, 2000. erowid.org/exp/1769

 
DOSE:
T+ 0:00
1 tsp oral Syrian Rue (seeds)
  T+ 0:10   oral Acacia  


Exact details of preparation and accurate quantites used are not given, and I can't provide them. The DMT source was Acacia phlebophylla and the harmaline source was Peganum harmala. Ayahuasca is a very potent and profound drug with unknown side-effects and should not be entered into lightly.

I got in contact with Chris through email, then phone. I was very interested in his ayahuasca experience, and [...], living in Sydney, was too far away. Chris suggested that we meet somewhere, and his friend Nick would come along. I picked them up from Chris's place, shook hands, drove to the Central Club and saw 'Inspiral Carpets'. He shared some joints, and talked for ages. We got along fine, so I decided it would be ok to bring these guys back to my place to try out the ayahuasca brew, which was sitting in a frozen lump in Chris's backpack.

At 2:15am on Saturday morning I injested (rather quickly) a heaped teaspoon of ground harmala seeds, and flushed it down with water. 10 minutes later, I drank a cup full of the ayahuasca brew, also rather quickly. 15 minutes later, things got really, really _wierd_.

The three of us were sitting in the front room at my house. I had recently changed this room. It's where we kept a spare matress and all my music gear, and it was the furthest room from where my girlfriend was trying to sleep. I was told to get comfortable, so I brought in a bean bag from the living room, and I lay on that.

I was on the bean bag, describing a dull cramp in my stomach to Nick and Chris. I glanced over to the curtains, which are a see-thru material with a floral pattern. They started moving. The flowers on the curtains seemed as though they were at a different distance from the material itself. They looked different, almost brighter. The venetian blinds behind the curtains were breathing. My homemade speakers (made of chipboard) changed. I noticed that every single object in the room was made up of one colour only. Nick pointed out that this is 'normal', that all objects seem to have all imperfections removed, so that the chipboard seemed like Laminex. There was no shading, no shadows, no scratches, no texture. Just a single colour for every single object.

The flowers on the curtains were shimmering, the curtains started breathing, and then they flowed down, onto the floor, just like the smoke from a spilt bottle of liquid nitrogen flows down stairs. The colour changes remained until the Closed Eye Visuals (CEV) started.

I felt as though this was about as much as I could handle at that moment, and if that trip stopped there and then I would have heaps to talk about. But no...

I felt vaguely nauseous, and I didn't want to throw up later because I didn't know what to expect; my expectations were exceeded even at this early stage through the trip (about 5 minutes since onset). I forced myself to throw up into a clear Tupperware container thing. I was very comfortable at the start of the trip, now my surrounding were uncomfortable, alien. I fell onto the floor (in a silly attempt to become more comfortable), and asked the guys if the bucket had been tipped. I was beginning to hallucinate strongly, and was unsure what was a CEV and what was an Open Eye Visual (OEV). I began to feel as though I'd lost my body, I didn't know what it was doing at that time. I felt some bowel movement, and asked if I'd defaecated. I was still ok, according to the guys, but I thought it'd probably be best if I went to the toilet, 'just in case'.

Things went up a level, it was no longer my house I was in. Everything felt wierd, I was walking down some hallway thingy but I didn't know where any of the doors led to. Someone must've got to the bathroom before me because the light was on, and I went in there. I was now experiencing full on hallucinations, but I didn't think it was a case of bad timing and didn't attempt to abort the toilet visit. I had no sense of time at all.

The bathroom certainly wasn't mine. Yes, there was a basin and a bath, and there was also a strange door that someone opened for me. I was only very vaguely aware that I had to do something here. The hallucinations were pretty heavy before I sat down, somehow I managed to unzip myself and to drop my trousers, and sit down. Then the universe changed...

I left my body sitting on the toilet and was thrown into a universe where nothing seemed to make any sense. The CEVs were absolutely outstanding, freeforming, morphing from one complex scene to another. I went through huge sliding doors, traveled in space vehicles, saw incredibly complex and insane roads and highways, floating through a space I could never fully describe. Beings were present, grey munchkin like things with yellow stripes, and there were snake objects too. And especially eyes. Peeking out of every bend in the road, off every snake, under every door. They didn't frighten me, I was just curious to know what they all were doing, and what they all were seeing.

These visuals came on with such an incredible intensity it was simply neuronically impossible to process all of them. I remember thinking that nothing made sense, so I must've analysed these images at one point, although I can never remember specifically doing so. The colours for the CEVs remained the same throughout all of the trip; striking pinks, grey, vivid yellows, deep dark blues, purple, red. All tones had terrific contrast. There were no 'boring colours', as I later described to Nick and Chris. Colours seemed to be like some wierd arcade game.

My 'field of vision' had significantly changed too. When in a normal state, you can usually only look at one thing at a time. (for all you mathematitians out there, a rather small number of steradians make up your major cone of vision). During periods of CEVs, my field of vision became an entire hemisphere, and my body (rather, my being) became a point in this crazy universe. The point didn't have a body, it just floated around in this virtual brainspace. (and I had a field of vision of 2*pi steradians!!) I could accept input from this hemisphere, but there was no way I could ever come close to processing it, it was just too fast, too complex, and too intense.

In the meantime, my body was trying to have a shit. I don't know if that eventually happened, but I thought I'd give myself a wipe anyway. As I turned to go to where I thought the toilet paper was (I'd opened my eyes at this stage, the CEVs were simply too intense to comprehend, so I thought I'd go back to them at a later time, and I wanted to see if I could make any sense, to try and to work out where I was, I was so disorientated...) I glanced at our Valhalla poster. What a mess! There were these letter things all over it, and I could see the words, but I couldn't read. I couldn't attach any meaning to the lettery things. I decided not to press that issue any further, so I kept turning towards the toilet paper (on my right. On the left was the Valhalla poster). Directly in front of me, however, was a blank, white wall. I stared at this for a while, and had some hallucination that I could never remember. I finally got to the toilet paper, but couldn't find the end of the roll. I grabbed at the paper, clawing at it, but it felt like smoke. I eventually managed to grab a fistful, and looking down at my hand, I couldn't see anything, but I knew I had the paper. Somehow. I managed to wipe, somehow, and while glancing down I noticed my legs had disappeared. Oh, no, it's ok, there they are. No, they've gone again. How the fuck am I supposed to wipe when my asshole keeps disappearing!!! They eventually came back, and somehow my hand completed the task. I dropped the toilet paper in the bowl, and then, just for the hell of it, I thought I'd look at my dick. Bad move.

There he was, all blue and purple, covered in hair that seemed to be matted in blood, dirty, sick, hairy. He was moving, too. Aaaaarrgh! I mentioned this to the guys, who were just standing outside. I heard Chris say 'What?!' and Nick replied 'He just looked at his dick!'. And they laughed. Which was kind of good in a way, because I found it funny too, indicating to me that I was ok, even though I was somewhere else entirely at the time. I don't remember standing up, zipping up, washing my hands or anything like that. I remember telling the guys that I wanted my favourite chair, which was in the living room, but I didn't know where that was. I stumbled down the hall, and somehow ended up in my chair.

Throughout most of this time, I was holding onto Nick's hand. Nick was the babysitter for this trip; Chris had also taken the brew and was starting to get into it while I was on the toilet.

I was now in my favourite chair, a single seater couch with the base removed, so your legs end up straight in front of you. I had somehow ended up with the clear bucket, now cleaned, in my lap again, so I didn't have to worry about throwing up on myself. I didn't have anything to throw up anyway, I hadn't eaten since 1pm on Friday, and now it was 3am Saturday.

The room I was in is definately my favourite. Nice, memorable things on the mantlepiece, a heater, my favourite chair. I'll start all my trips in here from now on.

While I'm sitting in the chair, my body disappears again. I'm back in the other universe. It seems like the entire trip was alternating CEVs and OEVs. During the OEVs, I realised that I was supposed to have a body, and I was worried about what it was doing. I'd grab Nick's hand and ask him what it's up to. 'Your body is fine', he tells me. 'Am I breathing?' 'Yes.' 'Have I made a mess?' 'No.' 'Does Jodie know I'm ok?' (there were sounds of yakking all through the house, and Jodie was next door, trying to sleep.) 'She's fine. She knows you're ok.' I didn't really believe him, I kept yelling 'Jodie! I'm OK! Alright?! I'm OK!!!'.

I spoke to an acid user a while ago (Daniel), and he told me about a little reference point that he uses, deep in his mind, which he can pull out any time he feels like things are getting out of control. During the periods of OEVs, I tried to find that point. Daniel, on DMT, there is no such thing. When you know for a fact that you're in your favourite room, in your favourite chair, and there's all these aliens staring at you, you can't possibly find a stable reference. As for finding a stable emotional state deep in your mind, there is none; you have no emotions. Emotions don't mean anything in amongst the crazy visuals. For example, while we were all in the front room, before the crazy toilet episode from hell, I was staring at a red blanket that Chris had brought along. In a 15cm fold of blanket, I saw an alien spaceship hanger. I could see way into this, and there were these little elipsoid aliens, grey, with striking blue eyes and yellow bands (like wasps, although not menacing by any means) staring out at me, as if to comically say 'What the fuck are you?'. If they could really see me, they'd know I was saying the same thing. There is no stable reference on DMT.

Nick's hand was a good one though. Nick has this incredible face, the sort of face you could throw onto a statue and call art. I spent a great deal of time looking at his face, I'll never ever forget it. As a babysitter, he was excellent. He'd been to where I was now many times, and he knew what I was going through. It was not unpleasant, just so wierd that if it wasn't for him I may have had great trouble returning. The babysitter on a DMT trip is so important, particularly if DMT is the first psychadelic you ever try. I am not going to commit myself to saying it should be the first psychadelic you should try, it's just that in the end, it all worked out for me, and I have no emotional or physical scars to show for it. People who are in the know recommend against it. I don't know, it's the only psychadelic I've ever tried.

After quite some time, the visuals decreased in intensity, and I tried communicating with Chris. Although I was wary that he may well be where I was during my CEVs, and I didn't think I could communicate well with him. Eventually, we did, although all he did was giggle alot and we seemed to spend more time actually working out if we could communicate than actually communicating. We were both going to be ok, and Chris was lost in his visuals, so I thought I'd give up on that; I just told Nick to keep him quiet (we share a wall with our neighbours, the house is a duplex, and I didn't want any external interruptions, be them neighbours, police, whatever. I viewed them all as the same, irrelevant, and interruptions).

I occasionally tried to keep my own checks on my body. One of the hardest things was actually trying to figure out of I was breathing. I couldn't actually feel myself breathing, but there was a vague sound somewhere that did sound familiar, I equated that to the sound of my own breathing. Audio had taken the back seat, and all other sensations (taste - couldn't taste any vomit although I hadn't cleaned my teeth [now THAT would've been wierd!!!], smell likewise, and I couldn't feel anything, which is why I had so much trouble trying to do the stuff on the toilet and also finding the edge of the toilet roll) had gone. Audio was basically annoying, I couldn't correlate anything between the audio and visuals, and next time I intend to investigate this further (ie, some nice, loud Stone Roses might do the trick!). And since I'd met Nick and Chris that very same night, their voices sounded alien and distant. I could pick out Jodie's voice very easily, talking in the hall (interesting to note, the first thing Chris said to Jodie was 'I'm just waiting to throw up'...), but Nick and Chris and my paranoia made them sound like police, neighbours, outsiders. While they were in the same room though, they were fine, and comfortable to be with.

Regarding the OEVs, there was a lot of 'seashell noise'. This is the term I've given to the endless visual noise that didn't necessarily dominate the OEVs, but did take the confusion up a level. The seashell noise looked like everything had seashells under them. The walls, Nick's face, my hands. Everything looked as though it was made of a flexible membrane (single colour, of course), and that there were all these moving seashells underneath the surface.

While sitting in my favourite chair, I had the clear container in my lap, all prepared for anything that may happen. I'd look down at it, it'd be there for a second, then it would disappear in a flash of green luminous light, and beyond that I knew there should be things that should've been very familiar (ie my legs), but weren't. That bucket was really confusing! But I'd still prefer it over a solid red one that Chris was yakking into. It was less distracting.

I found that blank, white surfaces were pretty annoying, because as soon as I'd look at one the visuals would appear, and then I'd start off the CEV part of the cycle. It was as though the mind was bored, so it made up things to fill in the 'uninteresting' parts of my field of vision.

The carpet at my place was pretty incredible too. It's an antique looking floral pattern, reasonable complex. I looked at it, and decided not to look at it again. It was just too much to look at. I can't remember exactly what happened, or what I saw, but I just remember being overwhelmed and thinking 'yeah, right. Whatever you reckon. I'm not looking at you again unless you start behaving at least remotely like carpet'.

I guess the only problem with the trip was the amount of giggling that Chris was doing. It was pretty loud (I thought so anyway, and seeing as it was 3:30am I didn't want to get anyone to call the cops etc - although later Jodie told me it was just at the talking level, but I always thought Chris' yakking was extremely loud, and he seemed to do it often...). The next trip I have will be at dawn, just as the sun comes up, or during the day. I wonder how light will change things. We were confined indoors, with artificial light. How wonderful it would be to see products of nature (I'm a big tree fan), in their natural light. I wonder what the hallucinations would be like.

The visuals themselves were very, very geometric, although like nothing ever contructed by humans before. Space hangers seemed very common, although I'm not really a space hanger man. Roads, buildings, wierd constructions. Those little munchkin things. But throughout the whole things, not a single element of chaos. No fractals, nothing irregular. Everything perfect and geometric. I wonder what it'd be like to see a tree under DMT. Being a fractal person, I'm doing the next trip during the day, where I can try and interpret nature.

Nothing short of the most amazing and intense experience of my life to date.

Exp Year: ExpID: 1769
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Jun 12, 2000Views: 66,723
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Huasca Combo (269), Syrian Rue (45), Acacia phlebophylla (824) : Small Group (2-9) (17), General (1)

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