Citation: Psych. "Years Gone By: An Experience with Cannabis (exp12102)". Erowid.org. Apr 16, 2007. erowid.org/exp/12102
The first time I smoked up, it was giddy happy stupidity. I loved the way it felt. So I began smoking up. At first it started at about a nick a week. Then it turned into a dime a week. Then I got access to a really good dealer, and since then, I have been smoking like a 20 a DAY. I am only 16 now, and I have been smoking for 4 years. It used to be a wonderful occasion; being stoned. But now its jes my normal state of mind. Even worse, I have noticed that I BARELY feel the effects, the slightest hint of being high whenever I smoke. Its not horrible, but just not nearly as fun as when I first smoked up.
Often I ask myself if its worth it, continue smoking. I ask it almost every time I have this disgusting hacking coughs from breathing too quickly. Whenever I breathe its like my lungs r half full. I can still think ok, but just not as well as I could b4, and I sometimes have trouble recalling little facts, I can always remember them if I think hard enough though.
I am just saying weed does change, the whole experience. It only gets to be a duller, and a more repetitive lifestyle. Not being high is fun too, and if u continue to smoke, u just don't appreciate things as much when ur normal. If u go to a great dinner, in a normal state of mind, often u think, this would taste so much better if I was stoned. If ur doing a fun activity, often u just say, 'this would be so much cooler if I was stoned.'
Its a lifestyle I can live. But soon I am just gonna take a break for a few years and let my tolerance go down, and so I can learn to appreciate the normal state of mind once again. Weed isn't a nightmare, but not a good dream either.
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