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The Day My Ego Fell Apart
Mushrooms - P. azurescens & Hash
by Nilz
Citation:   Nilz. "The Day My Ego Fell Apart: An Experience with Mushrooms - P. azurescens & Hash (exp11864)". Erowid.org. Jun 26, 2018. erowid.org/exp/11864

 
DOSE:
2 g oral Mushrooms - P. azurescens (dried)
    repeated smoked Cannabis - Hash  

BODY WEIGHT: 75 kg


I've used a lot of regular psilocybin cubensis before, but I've had little experience with psilocybin azurescens. Lately I've noticed that the effects of the regular type has deteriorated. I mean, even after a two week break, I get hardly any results with a 3 gram dose. So, I decided to test out the stronger type after such a break.

As usual, I prepared by disconnecting the phone, shutting down the computer and locking the door. My mindset was slightly stressed. I lined up a set of good music on the CD player, mostly house by Paul Oakenfold, Deep Dish and the like.

Now, I downed the shrooms and started making a couple of hashish joints to smoke as time progressed. After 20 minutes, this started getting very hard to do. I felt all tingly and on the edge. It was definitely starting to take off after just 20 minutes. Yikes!

I laid down on the couch, started the first CD (Oakenfold - Another World) and closed my eyes. I was hit by a very clear vision of a light blue room with floating 'blobs' everywhere. Pretty cool, really :-). I started thinking that maybe I took too much, but quickly dismissed it. It's never a good idea to think about such things! After some time, the vision was gone, and replaced by some more normal shroom-like visuals, but more intense than I'm used to.

I stayed on the couch tripping hard until the Oakenfold CD got into the critical section where there are some really awful, non-house vocals. I got really agitated by this and decided to try and change the CD. Not easy! I got up, and noticed the walls were bulging, nothing unusual there. I moved over to the CD player, which had morphed into a ball of some kind, making it extremely hard to change CD. I managed to do it after a lot of fiddling (won't you %#'% CDs stop moving!) and also decided to boot up the PS2 with the Ministry of Sound mix with visual effects.

While it booted, I smoked a joint on the outside. This was no easy task either, considering it was -10 deg C outside and that the stupid flame would not stop moving and the joint kept on bending. I got extremely cold on my hands and feet and started shaking badly. Hmm. After I got back in, things were really weird. The MoS disc was churning out effects on the TV, but the TV could not keep them inside. The patterns moved on the walls, on the floor, everywhere. Why didn't I think of turning on the disco lights, that would have been really fun! :-)

So, it was time to go the bathroom. Still freezing from the joint experience, I opened the toilet which seemed kinda bent and was moving slightly from side to side. Now, aiming was not that easy, the shaking and all, but I think it went pretty well :-). The walls in the hallway to the toilet kept pulsing in beat with the music. I tried looking in the mirror and noticed some extremely dilated pupils (and a face that look veeery distorted).

I laid down on the couch again to see if anything else cool was about to happen. It did. I mean, I've always had this voice inside me telling what's wrong or right and the like. Maybe it's my ego? Now it was fading away. I was swirled around in a particle world where we kept zooming in on smaller and smaller parts.
I was swirled around in a particle world where we kept zooming in on smaller and smaller parts.
Suddenly, we hit rock bottom. I was the absolutely smallest particle possible, my ego and all thought and reasoning was gone. I had visions of floating around like this particle for a couple of hours.

When the vision faded a couple of hours later, I still had serious trouble formulating thoughts. I was thirsty, but unable to think it. All impulses were completely new to me all the time. I looked at the TV, unable to comprehend what was going on. This was quite interesting! I walked around a bit, trying to focus, but it was impossible. I somehow got into the bathroom and had a long, hot shower that felt really intense, but the thinking was still gone.

It took two more hours before it came gradually back. Not that I missed it that much, every shroom trip is unique, and that was a completely new experience.

I smoked a couple of more joints before going to bed, but they didn't have much effect. I was awfully tired, but I couldn't sleep for a couple of hours. I just laid on top of the bed, resting and recharging my batteries. Got up, smoked another joint and finally got some sleep. I guess I slept for around 12 hours. Must be a new, personal record.

That was the strongest experience I've had, ever. Guess I'll try a lower dose the next time.

Exp Year: 2001ExpID: 11864
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Jun 26, 2018Views: 302
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Mushrooms - P. azurescens (844) : Alone (16), Combinations (3), General (1)

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