Amanitas - A. muscaria
Citation: Neopsy. "Careless Dosing, Psychosis and Breaking Into My Apartment: An Experience with Amanitas - A. muscaria (exp115744)". Erowid.org. Oct 2, 2021. erowid.org/exp/115744
Careless Dosing, Psychosis and Breaking Into My Apartment
I’m semi experienced with hallucinogens, having tried DXM, LSD, psilocybin and ketamine a few times, plus a plethora of other substances. I’ve always handled heavy doses such as 5 dried grams of shrooms and 0,5 grams of nasal ketamine, so I was honestly overconfident going into my first amanita experience. None of the substances I’ve tried has had any deliriant like qualities so I should’ve been much more careful with the dosing.
Amanitas are hugely misundertood. Most reports and preparation tutorials claim that drying them converts most of the ibotenic acid to muscimol, but a scientific study done about the conversion proves otherwise. Instead of just drying or otherwise heating the mushrooms to 100 degrees celsius, one should boil them in a liquid with a ph of around 2,5. Lemon juice with a hint of water is what I used, and the results were anything but disappointing.
I live in Scandinavia, so amanitas are super common here. I picked 7 caps of varying sizes and boiled 6 of them in the lemon juice plus water combo for around 140 minutes. Then I poured the lemon juice mushroom soup into a cup and let it cool down for an hour. I drank half of the liquid and ate approximately 4 caps after fasting for 20 hours. For me it wasn’t that disgusting, but most would probably disagree. The lemon juice was the only thing I tasted and the texture of the non dried caps wasn’t that bad either.
After ingestion I started watching Pan’s Labyrinth while waiting for the effects. Around 15 minutes later I started feeling a bit sedated and the feeling quickly began to intensify. 30 minutes into the movie I had to stop watching and decided to sleep for a bit, because the tiredness was already pretty intense. First I did a 20 minute nap, but couldn’t get myself out of bed and fell asleep again, this time without an alarm clock.
Amanitas are incredibly potent dream enhancers and I had a vivid dream with an LSD-like looping of some events that happened before I fell asleep and some made up ones. I woke up an hour later, sweatier than an 80’s pornstar. The last thing that happened in my dream was me pissing myself, so when I woke up in damp clothes and confused mental state I was sure I had just wet my bed. The weird thing is I went to the toilet and after emptying my bladder I was still sure that the sweat on my bed and clothes was piss. I was panicking because I thought I had to do laundry in this super confused state. After 5 minutes of checking my bed again and again I realized there was only sweat on it and the accident hadn’t really happened.
Regardless of my inability to understand what is real I thought I wasn’t noticeably intoxicated so I drank about half of what was left of the juice and ate 1 more cap and then decided to head outside (now T+2:00). Finding a water bottle, keys, headphones, pipe and clothes and getting myself out of the door took around 15 minutes, because the amnesia and confusion were so intense. My plan was to head to the nearest forest and just walk around there. Walking was similar to walking while significantly drunk; I kept wobbling and couldn’t keep a straight path, but never fell or were close to falling. Every time I blinked I could see red and green lights that formed nature themed surreal imagery. The visuals only lasted through the come up and faded after around 30 minutes.
The looping on amanitas was just insane. It resembles LSD loops where it feels like reality is constantly folding and creating combinations of realities. My mood was pure neutral, nothing really felt like anything. For example nausea was just a feeling with no negative connotations. The deliriant like qualities of amanita started getting more and more prominent as the experience went on. For the whole duration of the trip I felt like I had to do everything the voice in my head suggested me to, luckily it was never really anything bad. I always had one mission I had to do in order to “elevate my consciousness”. These were things like drinking a specific amount of water in a specific place, taking a stick from the ground and moving it to a specific spot. Every time a task was performed successfully, reality folded again and created “a better reality” which in fact didn’t feel any different from the one before it, but I always thought the next task would work.
First hour of my walk was nothing but doing harmless missions, until “the mushroom voice” in my head told me to smoke resin that was left in my pipe. Nasty, and a horrible idea, but obviously I couldn’t say no to creating a better reality, so I smoked. I took 2 long hits (really long since I couldn’t feel any pain) and then started walking again. Now the tasks were finished and reality could fold itself without me doing anything about it, so I just walked around immersed in thought. The immersion at this point was just insane. I would be in my thoughts for five to fifteen minutes and just snap out of it and realize I had walked the whole time without me knowing it. Sometimes I followed the trail, sometimes just walked in a straight line.
Around 5 minutes after the resin ingestion I developed 2 thought streams that I kept switching between and had to find out which of them was reality. In reality it was neither. In the main thought stream I believed to be true I experienced every person's acts that lead up to totally random events such as a car crash or a window breaking or a house burning. I felt like I was god who had to manually create events by acting out every person's role in said events. And not just people, but I had to act out the role of inanimate objects too. Acting out a single event felt like it took weeks, months and at the end of the trip, years. In my other thought stream I didn’t need to be every person, but rather follow one person that led me to look at the same events that I had created in my other thought stream. The person was myself viewed in 3rd person and all the events, the car crash, the house burning, happened to that person. In other words, I created my own death from start to finish several times and then watched it happen.
As I was walking back to my house, I remember several instances where my nervous system would shut off for a fraction of a second and my legs would fail me.
I remember several instances where my nervous system would shut off for a fraction of a second and my legs would fail me.
Luckily the fraction was so small that I never fell down, but constantly doing strange ducking motions and wobbling was really annoying. It kind of felt like an electric shock that would reset my physical body. The walk shouldn’t even be called a walk, since it felt like just teleporting. For example, I didn’t remember even a single frame of the last 500 meters of the journey.
As I got to my door I got this thought in my head that I didn’t have keys, while in reality I did. At this point the drunkenness was at new heights and I smashed against a wall for dozens of times in a period of a few minutes. I was in a total psychosis, thinking the “iterations of my death world” was the real world and I couldn’t stay in the actual physical realm even for a second. Thinking I didn’t have keys and having left a window open I decided to break into my own apartment and after several minutes of trying I finally succeeded.
Now inside, I realized I hadn’t touched my keys during the walk so they couldn’t have been missing, so I started looking for them. After 15 minutes of looking (mostly comprised of trying to find out what is real and what isn’t and trying to not fall down every 10 seconds) I found them. Now it was time to finally go to sleep.
Aftermath and -thoughts:
When I woke up, I saw that I had apparently thrown my stuff and my roommates stuff around the kitchen, but luckily nothing was broken and the chaos was manageable. The big problem was my phone missing. I did a hail mary move and went to look for my phone in the forest after a rain and actually found it and it was still working. I had a really hazy memory of me throwing my phone into the ground, and it being screen down in the ground suggested that that was exactly what happened.
I am not planning to trip on amanitas a second time, since it wasn’t pleasant and the fact that I could’ve done anything during the periods I don’t remember scares me. The trip did bring some insights, but it’s just not worth the risks.
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