Citation: Mr. Crowley. "The Strangest Trip I've Ever Had: An Experience with Tiletamine (exp115200)". Erowid.org. Feb 23, 2021. erowid.org/exp/115200
This was arguably the most bizarre experience I've had on a drug before, I never imagined that a substance could bend the mind to such a degree.
It was about 6 pm on a Friday and I had received a package of 250 mg. of Tiletamine HCl, made by a reputable research chemical distributor in my country.
I was fascinated by dissociatives after having some powerful experiences with Ketamine. They are like the polar opposites of Psychedelics: they wildly enhance the ego, create sensory distortions by nullifying sensory input rather than enhancing it, and they create a numbing, emotionless, anxiolytic tranquility, rather than the tense emotional rollercoaster psychedelics are known for.
Sitting at my computer and decided to do a bump and be the Guinea Pig of my new toy. I measured it out with a 15 mg microscoop.
I then went on a walk to meet up with a friend that I was supposed to sell some shrooms to and hang out with for a bit. Suddenly I was starting to feel quite euphoric and my vision seemed narrower and my perspective of my vision was unusually 'off'. It must be kicking in, and indeed it was. I ended up going back to my place and my roommate was watching TV, for some reason she was streaming old episodes of The Osbournes. I decided to do a large bump of Tiletamine to see what would happen...
Soon my vision started becoming extremely chaotic and warped. The room looked like it was expanding in ways I can barely described, like the geometry was growing outwards in an algorithmic fashion but completely unlike something I would see on LSD or any traditional psychedelic. Then I became transfixed on the TV, and it looked as though I was viewing it from outside of my body, and a sense of profoundness, deja vu, and nostalgia washed over me as though this was of extreme importance that I was viewing this - it was literally just Ozzy Osborne rambling about stuff on camera but he appeared as some sort of Prophet before me.
There was a pronounced audible buzzing sound and I had this profound sense of existential reckoning dawning upon me - I felt as though I was existing in a time warp, in some sort of bubble of existence in which I was in direct communication with entities controlling this realm and they were feeding me the profound insights that I could not possibly tell you, because likely they were complete nonsense.
There was definitely a "Psychotic" feeling about all of this, as though everything I was experiencing was completely true and real, even though none of it would make any sense to a sober mind. The delusions of grandeur and epiphanies created an ecstatic euphoria for me.
The delusions of grandeur and epiphanies created an ecstatic euphoria for me.
I went outside for a cigarette. Everything looked beautiful, it was as though I had never seen snow, or street lights, or paved roads of my backlane before and were seeing them for the first time.
I went back inside and sat down on my bed in my bedroom. I cannot say if I was asleep, or had my eyes closed or open, but I descended into what felt like a comatose state of non-existence, this must be what a "Hole" is.
Inside of my head all I could see was a vast emptiness of void, then a massive cinematographic camera angle started panning and zooming out to reveal an enormous space-ship looking object - when I say enormous this thing looked to be the size of a planet or larger floating in space. I could not figure out what it was exactly as it was largely featureless but at the same time highly complex and machinelike - I think it may have been a mental manifestation of my own body and I was experiencing an Out of Body Experience.
I remember waking up the next morning, but I was extremely groggy and still a bit dissociated and "out of it" - this sense of mental fog and grogginess persisted for almost the entirety of the next day and was fairly unpleasant and unwanted. Luckily by the second day after my trip, I seemed to be fully normal again.
This experience gave me some of the most stunning hallucinations I've ever had, they were so convincingly real and came with a sense of complete shock and awe... however by the next day these realizations were completely vanished. It is hard to pull insights out of these bizarre experiences, but they showed me what the mind is capable of.
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