Citation: Acidhead. "Terrifying Auditory Hallucinations: An Experience with LSD & Cannabis (exp114903)". Erowid.org. Nov 10, 2020. erowid.org/exp/114903
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| T+ 1:30
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I have taken LSD maybe 12 times or so and pretty much always had positive experiences, some more so than others. Yesterday I consumed a 125ug tab and sat back and waited. I always set a stopwatch on my phone following the drop to know how far into the void I am. At about +01:30 I take a decent sized dab to make the visuals set it fully.
I was listening to the Doors, being absolutely mesmerized by Robby Krieger's psychedelic solos, when for the very first time on LSD I had to admitů I was terrified. The Doors are my absolute favorite band and the darkness of their music intrigues me and makes me ask myself what is the darkness inside myself. My favorite trips had been at night, with the lights off in my room, high as a kite on acid and weed, listening to the Doors with over the ear headphones. After about half an hour or +02:00 I take a massive dab by accident because I am unable to see straight and realize the amount of wax on the pick.
+02:00 I take a massive dab by accident because I am unable to see straight and realize the amount of wax on the pick.
Then I lay back in bed, turn the lights out, and continue listening to the doors. When my eyes were closed I witnessed mind blowing Synesthesia, each pick of the guitar string sent vivid visual sound waves through my mind.
Following an intense guitar solo, I felt my mind "break". Something inside me said "fucků you really did it this time didn't you?" I began sweating and freaking out a little but then started reminding myself I am just high and my roommates would be back in a few hours if I really did need them. I get up off my bed and feel my energy or soul leave my body as I see myself still sitting in bed for a brief second, almost like a tracer but more of a still image. At this point I ask myself, "Fuck am I dead?". I tried sitting back down and standing up a few times but each time my mind and eyes would get up but my body would still be there for a few seconds. This then lead to moments of eternity or thought loops for about a minute. The feeling of coming out of a thought loop and being terrified of entering it again is chilling.
Then I began getting confused just looking at things in my room. It was as though I was in one of those fun houses where nothing is the right size. I have taken up to 3 tabs of LSD, experienced mind-blowing visuals but for some reason this was different, it was like a spirit world.
I walk to the kitchen to get water and say to myself "Okay I am just going to get some water, breathe, and everything will be okay". After spilling water, but eventually filling my water bottle, I sit down on the couch and turn on the TV, hoping one of my roommates will come back and prove to me that I am not dead.
As I sit there trying to watch TV, I keep saying something is just not right. Something seems very off, almost as if I am a spirit wandering my environment in some kind of a limbo, waiting to shoot thru the ceiling or floor, into heavenů.or hell. I continue trying to focus on the TV but I can't hear it for some reason. My perception of the sound just kept going in and out. I sit up and smack my face, feel my body, and pray for my life to continue.
Then I realize it, I am hearing a conversation between two voices inside my own head. I have never experienced such intense and terrifying auditory hallucinations on LSD before. It was very difficult to make out what the voices were saying, but I vaguely remember hearing something at the exact second, I thought I broke my mind. At this point I am sweating bullets, but still able to realize that I am peaking on acid and took two massive dabs, so I assume that caused the psychosis. However, there is a part of me that still thinks I "broke my mind", because I had literally never heard any trip report or experience from a friend that included such terrifyingly intense auditory hallucinations before.
At this point I am unable to even hear my subconscious - this voice we all have inside our head, imagine when you are reading to yourself. This voice was warping, bending, saying random nonsense, and wouldn't let me get my thoughts through. The sounds are so loud and vivid, I couldn't tell if they were inside or outside my head. I begin wondering if I am talking out-loud or thinking. My mind instantly goes where I don't want it to -- suicide. In a frenzy I begin contemplating if I wanted to go on essentially feeling as though I am schizophrenic.
I begin practicing a deep breathing exercise and am able to silence the voices, almost as if I "snapped out of it" and the 3 hour peak from hell was over. I ride out the rest of the wave feeling as though I had been fucked with on a deeper level. I still love LSD and am so stubborn, I guarantee I will trip again, for better or for worse.
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