Citation: Kaleida. "For When Life Ain't Spicy Enough: An Experience with Nutmeg & Cannabis (exp113325)". Erowid.org. Jul 15, 2019. erowid.org/exp/113325
[This trip report is written from a multiple-identity perspective.]
The following Greek letters have been changed to protect the innocent. This trip report is written by Delta.
This was our third time with the essential oil of Myristica fragrans, more commonly known as nutmeg. We had heard a lot of good things about it over the years but never really got around to researching it much ourselves until recently. We read all about the controversial use of essential oil psychedelics as it was happening and have heard all the arguments on both sides, but know that the fact of the matter is that nutmeg is already widely accepted as a psychoactive and hallucinogenic drug and there's no reason to assume that its essential oil couldn't be too, since it contains the same allylbenzene chemicals thought to be responsible for its activity. We also recently started to realize that we seem somewhat sensitive to the phenethylamine psychedelics by weight which the allylbenzene molecules are very closely related to, so we hoped that maybe we would be lucky enough to get a greater effect out of it than others.
We can't remember exactly when we first tried the oil but it was at least a few years ago now at 1 mL. The effect had one recognizably psychedelic sign for sure: when it first hit we suddenly a had huge smile plastered across our face. But mostly it just made us feel a little tipsy like alcohol in the way that dissociatives in particular also do, but just a little bit, and it also produced a nice buzzy body high that we remember lasting for at least fourteen hours, but the first wave of the high faded much sooner than that. It wasn't until just under the last couple of years that we started working with more phenethylamines and especially the longer-lasting ones like 2C-E and DOB and 4C-D that we realized that the trailing buzzy high of the nutmeg essential oil was exactly the same kind of trailing buzzy high that all these molecules produced. On top of that, the more mentally deep of the phenethylamine psychedelics we worked with also produced a lot of sensations that reminded us of dissociatives in the way that the first wave of the nutmeg oil high had, and so we knew we had to start really reconsidering just what all that experience was and meant.
Finally we took the oil again at 2 mL still pretty recently. The effect was much more powerful than at 1 mL (though this was also a different brand of the essential oil obtained years later) and lasted for at least a day overall and I think probably longer but we didn't actually try to track it at the time. Most of the experience still consisted primarily of just that trailing phenethylamine-like psychedelic buzzing high which was even more obviously on the level of the long-lasting phenethylamines mentioned previously than the first time had been, but there was also a short hallucinogenic peak occurring for at least the first few hours of the trip
there was also a short hallucinogenic peak occurring for at least the first few hours of the trip
, and rarely popping its head back up a few more times throughout the day. There were light sensory visuals that had a little bit of a psychedelic style to them, especially because of how they made things appear brighter and more colorful in a slightly psychedelically dissociated sort of way and some stimuli had very slight tracers or auras, but what was actually more obvious was some fast-moving lightning-y red distortion visuals that were mostly unlike things we ever generally get on psychedelics but totally alike things we get consistently on MDMA and diphenhydramine related to the emergence of a delirious hallucinogenic state.
Along with this came less frequent but much stronger deliriant-like hallucinogenic effects that felt mostly like diphenhydramine but also still reminded us a lot of MDMA, though not as much that as what we've heard about the (even more deliriant-like-sounding) MMDA. We closed our eyes to meditate and suddenly there were mumbling voices growing into unintelligible conversations all around us, until we opened our eyes and it stopped. While dancing we were using our imagination to throw around psychedelic-patterns like we like to while tripping and suddenly the mind's eye geometry became dreamlike hallucinations of people handing us various drugs to take or taking them away from us. When outside at night we saw a street light turn into a psychedelic palm tree and start raining down little orange music notes. Despite this, there were no effects reminiscent of the deliriant body load at all except for some dry mouth that did significantly remind me of diphenhydramine more than most forms of it do though much less intense or bothersome. All of these things combined convinced us that we needed to try pushing this one a little further to see just what it could offer.
Based on the simply moving up at the same pace as before, definitely not wanting to push it too far in case the deliriant effects became particularly intense and overwhelming, something that concerns us much more than accidentally pushing the psychedelic effects too far, especially considering that they could happen simultaneously, we opted to go for 3 mL. We still weren't sure if this would be enough to push us all the way past the threshold we were detecting but would have to say that we were pretty darn happy with the results so far!
Our previous experience with psychedelics includes DMT, MET, MPT, EPT, MiPT, DiPT, MALT, DALT, Psilocybe cubensis, 4-HO-MET, 4-HO-DET, 4-HO-MPT, 4-HO-EPT, 4-HO-DPT, 4-HO-MiPT, 4-HO-DiPT, 4-HO-McPT, 4-AcO-DMT, 4-AcO-MET, 4-AcO-DET, 4-AcO-MALT, 4-AcO-DALT, 5-HO-DMT, 5-MeO-MiPT, 5-MeO-EiPT, 5-MeO-DALT, Ipomoea tricolor, Argyreia nervosa, LSD, ETH-LAD, AL-LAD, 1P-LSD, 2C-C, 2C-B, 2C-I, 2C-E, DOC, DOB, 4C-D, Myristica fragrans, and MDMA. Our most recent trip was the weekend before this on 1.4 mg of DOB, and we figured we would probably have a little bit of tolerance to any potential psychedelic effects for this reason but decided it was worth it because this is going to be one the last trips we're getting to have for a pretty good while.
T-0:05 - I take 2000 mg of magnesium glycinate which is something we've been doing lately before phenethylamine (and phenethylamine-like) psychedelics to combat potential muscle tension.
T+0:00 - I take the oil with 1 mL each in three capsules for a total of 3 mL, it's gross if you let the oil start getting out of the capsule! Ate some crackers too to get rid of the flavor of the first capsule (did the second and third better).
T+0:11 - Already burping up powerful nutmeg flavor which is also gross, but a lot less so than 2M2B which is some nice perspective for us to have now. I try to ignore it because I know it will be happening a lot for at least the beginning of the experience (and it does) and it doesn't really bother me much from that point on. I prepared a bowl of marijuana in this time for when it was coming on stronger later and picked out some clothes for the experience and then got in the shower to pass time for the coming up.
T+0:45 - Out of the shower now, started getting a little heavy and tipsy in there again and then also horny and ended up masturbating, the orgasm was really nice but nothing too special yet, and then it was followed by several nutmeg burps. I can tell the high is still rising at this point but it hasn't really even started yet. It comes on slower basically like phenethylamine psychedelics for us too.
T+0:51 - Feels like a heavier state starting to creep in....
T+0:54 - Felt like a heavier state was finally stating to creep in at this point and then suddenly got a huge rush of euphoria and a big smile spread across my face, the smile being like both the first time I mentioned and the second time which also included the rush unlike the first time at about this exact time after dosing. It feels good in a way that still reminds me of psychedelics and especially phenethylamines but actually even more so reminds me of the first wave of MDMA, it may be one of the most euphoric sensations I've experienced yet on a hallucinogen honestly though this exact "rushing" part of it seems very short-lived. I put on some music (Shania Twain at first) and started getting into the growing euphoric headspace which was shooting up pretty quickly now.
T+1:05 - Zeta has switched out to enjoy the state as well and is starting to feel pretty great. She feels a strong buzz brewing kind of like she did on the DOB whereas I am still feeling a bit more sedated but very happy. A lot of us start switching to sing to different music and we're all really starting to feel pretty good.
T+1:30 - I took our first hit of the bong! Things were already going well by this point but figured they would be cranked up pretty strongly by this nonetheless. This seemed to be pretty sound logic.
T+1:36 - Sitting in our sofa chair I close my eyes and get our first real closed eye visual of the experience. Kappa has been programming a game casually on our computer and suddenly the computer screen takes up the entirety of our field of vision with closed eyes like when you have a dream about a video game or a TV show but you don't actually see the TV or whatever, just the image you would see on the TV with no direct first-person immersion in the environment. It is a visual we have gotten many times before to a similar extent as this on diphenhydramine and to a lesser extent on MDMA in the later hours, and it's also one of the first types of visuals describe in the now very painful to mention MMDA trip report "There Was Life In Those Eyes" by the late and great Morninggloryseed. We had long since suspected (due to the myristicin specifically) that nutmeg could probably produce the same "mind movies" that people attribute to MMDA and had seen plenty of hints of it in other reports and it now seemed pretty obvious to us that it really could in that moment, but it also seemed to support our other suspicion that those "mind movies" are basically a deliriant effect and may be related to anticholinergic activities caused by MDMA-like molecules and especially MMDA and myristicin. But I won't speculate too much on that for this report.
The main visual we were getting at this time was just seeing Kappa's game spazzing out like crazy, very realistically detailed and colored but total chaos in terms of what was going on like the game and screen were malfunctioning or something. We could feel Kappa being triggered out by the hallucination so she switched out and the vision became "closer" to us than it already was like it was connected more to her in the first place, but it seems to fading already nonetheless. I switch back out and open our eyes again.
T+1:38 - Songs have been randomly playing on YouTube and "Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen comes on and I lie down on the couch and close my eyes while listening to it to see what happens. I am not disappointed.... My mind is drawing photorealistic and technically matching but completely absurd imagery to the lyrics
My mind is drawing photorealistic and technically matching but completely absurd imagery to the lyrics
that are constantly evolving like a dream to go alone with what it says, and the underlying structure of the delirious imagery is still taking a much more psychedelic geometric and narrative theme than it normally would on diphenhydramine, but reminiscent of our (not recommended) past very high and hallucinogenic doses of MDMA, though this was much more direct and "pure" in effect than that and also felt like it was already going further than that and could be pushed further still. I specifically recall that there were a number of spiraling helix designs flying around in the distance which was similar to the geometry we had just recently seen on DOB, but these spirals were becoming roads being driven on by race cars driven by giant chocolate bars or the flames a rocket ship blasting into outer space and other stuff like that. The way the spirals were turning into real imagery actually reminds us of our recent very powerful experience on MPT too, but that was still pretty unique from this and so far I might say more alike salvinorin A whereas this was again more like diphenhydramine and MDMA in our experience so far.
T+1:40 - Smoking the marijuana has definitely caused this effect to be stronger than it would be otherwise but nonetheless, I suddenly notice that deliriant-like dry mouth setting in again. Notably there are still no other signs of deliriant body load that we would normally look for.
T+1:44 - Epsilon switches out to listen to "Death of a Bachelor" by Panic! At The Disco which is currently one of her favorite songs and she continues getting the vivid closed eye hallucinations. The imagery is gruesome but she doesn't mind and laughs at the absurdity of it all, things like a woman holding her own heart on her chest with blood dripping down her fingers and dress, the "bachelor" dead in the pool with the blood swirling in psychedelic patterns down the drain and then his spirit ascending up to heaven where there is an explosion of sexual imagery and streams of light bursting through clouds vivid like ancient paintings and he is suddenly embracing and kissing a beautiful woman, they start laughing and suddenly the whole scenery is devolving into abstract partial imagery of people laughing and it floats back down to earth, then there's a man and woman having dinner at a fancy restaurant and when the man pours the woman a glass of water we actually hear the water filling up the glass in realistic detail, just as the visuals still are. There may be some more still but this is mainly what she wrote down in our notes about listening to this song. Notably, this "rising up through the clouds" type of visual specifically also happened to us the last time we ever took MDMA, years ago, at just 100 mg and smoked a lot after the peak.... It was immediately recognizable here for this reason and definitely furthered our suspicion of a functional connection between these two.
T+1:49 - Kappa comes out and walk around a bit and notices that she's starting to feel like what she describes as a dream world fog, like the world is becoming sort of hazy and unclear and our body is becoming heavy and harder to move through that fog and sort of tipsy and disoriented by it. Again this reminds us of diphenhydramine, though it still felt like there was something about the overall state distinct from that. We were definitely still much more lucid and content than we would have been on that, the intoxication is actually pleasant rather than unpleasant like deliriants are known for more often being.
T+1:50 - I'm back out and notice our stomach is starting to feel a little bad but better after a burp, it reminds me of the stomach upset we just had on DOB and I eat a couple crackers afterwards hoping it'll help and decide to take a break from the music for a minute to try and understand our current state. I can tell that there is starting to be some imagery flashing by in my peripherals transparently layered over reality and close my eyes to various people and places rapidly transforming by, and also hear voices calling my name during it, both the name I use and the name of the person I am introjected from as an alter. After this I open my eyes again and wander around the apartment bit just trying to observe what will happen. A lot of it is fleeting in memory now but I do remember that it was somewhere around this time I was seeing somewhat geometric visions of swimming alligators and slithering tentacles lightly layered over reality, and at one point I started having green plant roots starting to again transparently but unavoidably realistically detailed and convincing-feeling.
T+1:56 - Another series of burps helps the stomach feeling a lot. Lambda comes out to check on our general state and also get us a new glass of water.
T+1:59 - Omicron comes out to see how she likes the high because we're pretty sure she was the one who liked MDMA the most or at least close to it many years ago when we were using it a lot. She has some fairly vivid closed eye visuals of being back at our middle school and interacting with a girl who we have specific memories of the girl Omicron is introjected from interacting with. We have had experiences with hallucinogens like this before where the hallucinations potentiate our inner programming and dissociative symptoms related to the inner identities of the alters and such, but this nutmeg essential oil seems to bring them out especially strongly, but maybe just because deliriant hallucinations make any other type of hallucination much more solid and immersive generally because that's how they are on their own. Omicron is interested to explore this effect more but not so much in this moment and would want a bit more intensity with it anyway, so she switches back to me.
T+2:00 - I take our second bong hit!!
T+2:05 - I believe I was just lying down on the couch at this point when suddenly my enhanced imagination started doing the same thing it had done when we were dancing during the peak on 2 mL: it started turning into immersive dreamlike hallucinations of people handing us drugs or taking them away. Someone handed me an alcoholic drink and I drank from it and immediately started feeling a little loopy and like the room was spinning, though the feeling passed quickly. Someone walked by with a joint and I reached out to grab it this time and sucked down the whole thing in one hit, this time feeling a brief intense haze covering my field of vision as if I was suddenly becoming very high, but again it quickly passed. Someone then hands me a blotter I immediately feel is LSD, which didn't happen on the 2 mL (though there were some other pills involved), and I place it on my tongue and see the room around me start getting covered in very accurate classical psychedelic pattern in my mind's eye, but before they can become intense enough to get into my more concrete actual sight they again pass as quickly as they came. At this point it stops going and I stop trying to force it and just lie there appreciating what an interesting and ridiculous sort of hallucinogenic state this is and how great I feel. I'm listening to music again during this too and the enhancement of appreciation of it has become pretty strong and nice but still not overwhelmingly euphoric, more like blissfully peaceful, the body feels pretty nice too as it just continues buzzing along without any real discontents.
T+2:12 - Kappa has come out and is dancing to "Starfish" by Savant, and as she does she starts seeing again transparent but interactive and stable realistic 3D hallucination of different food flying by around our body as feelings of movement send abstract patterns (simple compared to many psychedelics though) rushing by us in the mind's eye. She sees an apple, then a banana, then a brownie, then pizza, and maybe more, and grabs each one of them in order as they go by and takes a big bite out of them, not completely realistically but genuinely starting to taste each of them as she does. She is thoroughly amazed and amused by this and lies down on the couch again to relax for a moment. I switched out and have my eyes closed to the music to try to keep that potential going and am seeing visions of sharks swimming in the ocean towards some sort of crystalline statue maybe or some other sort of photorealistic psychedelic structure in the distance, and then it switches to swirling lattices of ants marching in perfect mile matrices spinning in helix formations down towards maybe Earth but at least some planet I think below, though it was getting a little hazy at this point I ultimately decided to just stop pushing it.
T+2:15 - It feels like we're a little hot and sweaty in a way that reminds us at first of MDMA, but also we've been dancing with the heater on and it could just be that, we switch to the air conditioner again for a bit. After this I start getting flashes of realistic imagery patterned over reality through the mind's eye again which shows lots of natural fantasy imagery like a big cherry blossom tree in a hilly meadow lots of twisted tree roots and that imagery started to pushing further into the external environment as well though still not as much as I'm sure it could on an even higher dose. My stomach also started feeling just a little bit upset again at this point but it started feeling better again as I started writing down the notes about this.
T+2:18 - I stand up and suddenly notice that I'm feeling a good bit more intoxicated than before, the room is a little bit spinny.... There is definitely just a little bit of an alcohol-like feeling in this high/trip which I don't think I can easily relate to other hallucinogens of either of the sorts I've already been comparing too, perhaps something unique and distinct about the pharmacology of allylbenzenes? Maybe future experiments with other ones of them will help answer that question too.
T+2:20 - Zeta comes out and listens to "Everything You Know Is Wrong" by Weird Al thinking that the closed eye abstractions may be worth a watch and isn't disappointed, they're highly abstract and hard to describe but still showed pretty well what the lyrics said, honestly probably better than the others maybe easily because they were already so absurd already. She also notes that she is feeling great at this point.
T+2:30 - I hit the bong again!!!
T+2:33 - The deliriant-type visualizations are definitely still going but seem to no longer be as immediate or vivid as before. I put on "Butterfly" by the Swingrowers and there is some beautiful imagery of being a butterfly flying over a vast valley with lots of life and things to see at the bottom, and at some point the vision goes kaleidoscopic and the butterfly imagery is everywhere and producing beautiful patterns, but this also turns out to be basically part of the hallucination falling apart.
T+2:35 - My imagination is seeming a bit sexy again so I feel like taking a break from the music again and going to meditate to see what happens....
T+2:45 - Kappa and I get lots of abstract and recursive but realistic and self-oriented closed eye visuals happening, like spiraling tunnels of images of our inner identities, as well as what appears to be the edges of 3D fractals turning into realistic imagery unrealistically doubled and placed somewhat perpendicular to one another of a guy I'm attracted to trying to interact with me and I think have sex with me but it's hard to remember now, I do know that it causes me to have a moment of strong release of my instincts both in general and specifically related to some of things I feel as an introject alter and I came out of it feeling a very powerful, though still subtle bliss and peace about where I was at this point in my life.
T+2:51 - Omicron comes out and starts getting some more hallucinations related to the inner content she was seeing before as well some of the self-spiral visuals and tries to carry it through meditation like we were doing, but our stomach is gurgling too much and she thinks we're too hungry for her to focus, so she gets up with the intention of having us order some food.
T+2:56 - We ordered some Panda Express delivery which I'm super excited for, earlier the crackers were a little hard to eat in a way that reminded me of MDMA but I bet this will be super easy to eat by the time it arrives....
T+3:00 - Fourth bong hit!!!! The high has gotten slightly anxious and uncomfortable, but since we're also trying a new high dosage of a novel drug that is well-known but still being used in a sort of novel way and I worry that it might have a potentially unusual side effect profile and uncertain safety range, it's pretty understandable for there to be a little anxiety, and after I have this thought and reconfirm that I'm still feeling pretty good and safe overall the anxiety drops off extremely rapidly and really almost immediately pretty much entirely and never really returns as far as I can recall.
T+3:03 - Kappa is back out listening to "I Will Survive" by Cake and much enjoying herself. It ends up sending on a little bit of a Cake marathon, I came out for "Short Skirt Long Jacket" and Rho came out for "Never There" and there was a little more than that too but we didn't take notes through the whole thing, but we enjoyed dancing and singing through it all. By this point we are feeling pretty good all things considered and really starting to get into the groove of things now especially that we're focusing less on watching the hallucinogenic effects.
T+3:25 - We've recently changed gears back to electro swing and I am listening to "Lone Digger" by Caravan Palace, I've started getting the "walking through thick dream fog" again feeling somewhat and as I hear the horns in the song I start seeing realistic visions of trumpets flashing all around my upper and peripheral vision. I think it was at this point specifically that I realized just how close again this actually was to our past experiences with MDMA.... There is one that stands out the most by far in this case where we were hanging out in a forest with some friends and then had to walk through a thick gathering of trees to get to the parking lot where our car was. We had been smoking from a big bong right before that and as soon as we walked into the trees we found ourselves completely transported to another world, which we at the time perceived to be the "spirit world" or something of the sort. It was an open field of mostly dirt but also with a seemingly infinite amount of bamboo trees (not the kind of tree we were walking through by the way) and this exact same sort of "thick dream fog" floating all around and obscuring our vision more than a few feet ahead in every direction. The only other person we could see was a friend we were with and we didn't know who he was, only that we would have to follow him out or be lost in the spirit world forever, and we followed him all the way out the other side of the trees where suddenly we were back in reality wondering what in the hell had just happened exactly. This effect of the nutmeg essential oil is exactly like that, clearly far closer to it than anything else, though given that we haven't gotten as delirious yet as we were that time, I would also say it seems more psychedelic and visual at the same time than that version of the effect, but also less blatantly stimulating and euphoric, though still plenty stimulating and euphoric in its own more subtle way that I still find highly comparable to phenethylamine psychedelics.
T+3:32 - Fifth smokerooooo!!!!! The first bowl of marijuana is officially finished at this point. The stupid food delivery service has been trading me around with delivery drivers and it's been delayed a while, we're so hungry....
T+3:52 - The new delivery driver that's finally working on our order ended up giving me a discount code so that did make me feel significantly better about the whole thing and more willing to wait for food. We're obviously too impaired to go out anywhere on our own and it's also the middle of a Monday, but the high is making some of us feel like we want to go out dancing.... We slip on a dress really quick and start dancing the time away waiting for the food to finally arrive.
T+4:00 - Also loaded a second bong bowl and took the first hit of it at this point. Didn't want to push the hunger too far but also wanted to keep this momentum going....
T+4:05 - Note that we haven't thought about the trippy part of the high in a while again, when focusing on it there is clearly some of the "dream fog" feeling
we haven't thought about the trippy part of the high in a while again, when focusing on it there is clearly some of the "dream fog" feeling
but it feels like the peripheral imagery that comes along with it is no longer structured, just sort of abstract and still nicely but weakly psychedelic color pattern flashes, we're still loving the music enhancement and introspection high though and still dancing away.
T+4:14 - We're getting a little tired from dancing and Rho comes out to put on "Save My Soul" by Big Bad Voodoo Daddy for something a little more relaxed. She also notes that she has some distinctly psychedelic mind's eye visuals going that are sort of like fancy calligraphy swirls of leaf-like branching fractal pattern designs that is particularly notable to us because literally the only two things we've ever noticed them on before were a very powerful LSD trip many years ago now and the DOB trip we had just had the previous weekend, and that alone does increase our intrigue at just what all this nutmeg essential oil can actually do.
T+4:25 - Finally the food arrives, an hour and a half after ordering it!! I take another bong hit and put on our favorite trippy American Dad! episode to watch while we're eating.... Also, the food is freaking delicious and incredibly refreshing, it immediately makes us feel a lot better in terms of our stomach being angry with us and also accenting the high/trip by way of relieving that tension.
T+4:38 - I'm getting incredibly full but there's only so much food and I really want to finish it all, so I take another hit of the marijuana to help push my appetite just a bit further.
T+4:45 - Done eating and it was fucking delicious, all of it but especially the cream cheese rangoons.... I'm now so full and satisfied I can barely think for the moment and just slump over to the couch to finish the TV episode.
T+4:51 - The episode ends.... I'm buzzing hard still but also still so peaceful, just happy and calm and satisfied, full and feeling much better about it, still tasting the lingering delicious flavors.... It's a great place to be in and I'm honestly really loving it so far.
T+4:55 - I'm now just basking in the silence and glorious feeling of it all.... This has now moved beyond the earlier more deliriant-like component into something a bit more obviously psychedelic-like, not that it ever wasn't or isn't still the other too. This feeling of just sitting and appreciating it all reminds us a lot of the DOB experience we just had but also is just like other powerful psychedelics in general we take where at some point(s) throughout the trip we have to simply stop and taking everything in for a while before continuing with any more active form of external stimulation. As I stand up getting ready to take another hit of the bong at T+5:00 I feel a lot of flowing white energy patterns/designs in the mind's eye just sort of swirling around me as if there was sort of a wind in the apartment, which is also something we've gotten from the DOB as well as some other powerful psychedelics with some similar feelings like 4-HO-DET and 4-AcO-MET... and then I take that hit at that exact time too.
T+5:02 - I am now curled up on the couch under a blanket almost in the fetal position.... I feel very vulnerable but also pretty safe, just open and raw and happy and content at the same time, it feels very deep and cleansing like good psychedelics do while at the same time being still pretty light and not demanding, more like a warm blanket feeling (even aside from the actual blanket I'm under) that is just spreading throughout my body and making everything feel utterly fantastic, also note specifically some fun and pleasant buzzing sensations in my face and mouth as I'm typing the notes about this.
T+5:05 - I haven't really continued looking much for psychedelic open eye visuals until this point so I stare at the ceiling for a few minutes to see what happens. It definitely looks like if I didn't have tolerance from the recent heavy tripping there might be some more significant effects, there's not much color aside from what we already see while sober from all of our past tripping anyway but it definitely all has an extra pulsing and sparkly white quality to it, and after staring for a bit some slight but undeniable patterns start to emerge, somewhat more indole-like than phenethylamine-like for what I would have expected from this trip so far, though notably I think still with a somewhat more phenethylamine-like rather than indole-like level of complexity.
T+5:08 - Now staring at the carpet for a little longer finally gives the visuals some more significant color and fractured movement.... It's weak but it's there, more excited for future lower tolerance experiences for sure.
T+5:12 - Back to music, putting on some Cake again!
T+5:23 - I also put "Death of a Bachelor" on again and it reignited some of the closed eye imagery effects from before, at first it mostly just looked like a standard psychedelic/dissociative visual we get of spiraling people all reaching out to us, but it clearly had more deliriant-style colors and textures and realism but also their level of disorganization of scatteredness compared to the order that psychedelic visuals normally have, it wasn't so much a "spiral" as just strands twisting chaotically all over the place. It reminded me of ETH-LAD but still wasn't as complex as that though was still fairly complex, also reminded us more so specifically of DOB in that way.
I was just watching thinking it wouldn't go much further, but then suddenly found myself in a natural setting next to trees and a cliff with a waterfall coming down from it, though I was seeing this in a third-person perspective and wasn't actually part of the scene myself. Then suddenly there were giants who reminded me of the giants from The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask standing tall over the landscape off in the horizon and far above it discussing something though I can't remember clearly what it was they were saying anymore, and suddenly my perspective zoomed into the waterfall where it was revealed that there was a cave opening behind it that I now found myself (though still lacking self) in. There was a long tunnel of either people or something I honestly can't remember having some sort of meeting there, and I zoomed into the perspective of whoever was sitting at the "boss" chair at the furthest end from the waterfall opening, and then turned to see two double doors leading from here to elsewhere within the cave, and the doors then open up and dissolve into an increasingly abstract and colorful array of psychedelic patterns that reminds me of the "alien doors" we have seen on both DOC and MiPT. It was incredibly intriguing and I would have liked to see more, but at this point the song ended and a commercial started and it shook me out of it. (I wrote in our notes: "Remember when there were no commercials on YouTube? ;-;")
The next song that came on was "Sweet Escape" by Gwen Stefani and I let it play and start up the visualizations again and had some very interesting visualizations of a kind I very much enjoyed but could easily see somewhat scaring off people who don't have a lot of tripping experience or twisted senses of fun and humor. One part for example involved being eaten by a giant Gwen Stefani and then traveling very realistic through her insides and seeing all kinds of crazy microscopic biological visuals rushing by as I did, then finally coming out the other end. At some point when I was back out and the visuals had switched to more so just displaying a story to the song including imagery of her dancing and making out with me in the same sort of sudden burst of sexy imagery that accompanied Epsilon's listening to music and seeing the "floating up through the clouds" imagery earlier.
T+5:30 - I take the fifth hit of our second bong bowl... in case anyone's counting.
T+5:37 - I'm listening to "Feel It Still" by Portugal. The Man while lying down on the couch meditating again, and near the end I start having the very distinct and partially vividly hallucinogenic impression that my body was becoming a keyboard being played by someone from the band (despite lack of keyboard part? I feel like there isn't one...) and it's also doing the same thing before where it feels like the image is being made out of a 3D fractal, which in this case is my body, and it's actually mirrored so that my abdomen has the same mirrored keys running down both my right and left sides and the same artist is mirrored perfectly in all their movements playing it on both sides of me. I'm loving this even though it's incredibly bizarre.
T+5:46 - Lambda came out and browsed in the drug-related internet briefly and texted a friend of ours, now I'm back and gonna take another shower I think....
T+5:50 - I take another hit that finishes the second bong bowl and then actually do jump in the shower afterwards.
T+6:30 - Out of shower, I got horny and masturbated again while I was in there, it took effort but for a great payoff, it accentuated the already amazing high and has a bit of an especially phenethylamine-like visual reaction to the orgasm as I recall, and afterwards when I turned off the shower I just stood there as it drained so lost in thought I didn't even realize when the water was gone and I was already mostly dry still just standing there zoned out in bliss without having really done anything to dry myself off yet or get any further out of the shower yet.
T+6:40 - A friend had sent us the song "Natural Vibrations" by Sharpshooters so we decided to give that a listen and thoroughly enjoyed it. Afterwards we loaded the last half bowl of weed we have for 4:20 which was at T+6:50 and took the first hit then.
T+6:57 - Lambda has come to the front and notes that this also reminds her a lot of the blissful acuteness as she puts it of DOB, but more comfortable and less demanding.... "Soooo comfortable in the body in fact," she writes, "nearly overwhelmingly so while still somehow being so calm and not unsettled in any way at all, just buzz buzz buzzing. n_n" She's just been sitting in silence and thinking since the last song, says there's not much else to do honestly in a great way, as we're just at total peace.
T+7:05 - Lambda tries typing a PM response to a friend online but it takes her a loooot of effort even though we still feel pretty lucid, there is definitely a powerfully immobilizing aspect to the high going that we compare to other really strong psychedelic body highs but still probably a little extra sedating compared to that, only physically though, the mind is still going strong even if very much at peace.
We take our second hit of the 4:20 bowl at T+7:10 and the third and last hit at T+7:33.
T+7:46 - Lambda finally finishes typing that message, she reviews it quickly and then sends it and relents back to me. I'm out now... What to do now?
T+8:11 - Our mom had sent us an interesting article about a family member of ours so I spent some time reading it, then afterwards went to the bathroom and had kind of moment of stopping and thinking about just how much we've been through already while in there and decided that I should review all of our notes from the day to make sure we can keep some coherent memory of it all
decided that I should review all of our notes from the day to make sure we can keep some coherent memory of it all
, unsure of what exactly to expect is likely to stick on its own.
T+8:17 - I finish reading the notes.... What an awesome trip so far, and I actually can remember that all pretty well, not just far better than diphenhydramine but honestly even much easier than MDMA probably, more like what I'd expect from being able to easily remember most psychedelic trips these days.
T+8:23 - I called our parents and we were invited to have grilled cheese and soup with them, which sounded great. I don't recommend that you drive on this drug but I did it anyway. We have a long history of driving on MDMA (which we again haven't done in many years) and lots of other drugs when we were younger and stupider than we still are and felt absolutely nothing impairing about the high telling me that I would be unable to make the less than one minute drive to our parents house, which we only do because we live in the same neighborhood, and would not drive any further distance than this while still this much on anything like this. That being said the drive there didn't feel different from normal in any way whatsoever that I could detect. After we arrive Rho switches out to the front as she often does for us in that context, and shortly afterwards she starts eating the dinner we went there for.
T+8:45 - Rho finishes eating and notes that it's pretty delicious and fixed our growing appetite and stomach discomfort problem mostly though now there is also some slight upset she thinks maybe from eating so much so fast, but it's preferable to the feeling from before. I switch back out after she's done.
T+8:50 - From now until T+9:00 I smoke two bowls with our parents for a total of eight hits. This caused those mental white energy visuals to kick in again pretty well and brought the general still high/tripping state out a bit more completely again, and dramatically enhanced the body feeling again. I made a note that I was starting to very much have a bwuuuuuuh feeling like Lambda on the DOB.... It was good and heavy. Aside from this our parents were just watching TV so we pretty much joined them for a bit rather than continuing to focus too much on doing our own thing(s).
T+9:16 - Our stomach was starting to feel a little full and uncomfortable again so I went to the bathroom, and while I was in there had another rush of deliriant-like mental visuals with a greater focus on disgusting things like poop and blood and other forms of gore and violence and malice in general than we would ever normally expect from a psychedelic, though it doesn't change the fact that the mood is still super psychedelic and chill and blissful and I just feel pleasantly euphoric and stoned and amused at the absurdity of these visions.
T+9:19 - I went and wandered around out back for a minute and everything was very beautiful and peaceful, this really is a very lovely euphoric state.
T+9:21 - I came back in and ate a freaking delicious chocolate-covered strawberry with vanilla or white chocolate or something stripes, almost overwhelmingly good but it would be anyway.... A few minutes later I ate another strawberry because the first was so delicious, but this time just a regular strawberry, not a chocolate-covered one. It was still delicious.
T+9:44 - Zeta ended up going back outside with our mom and admiring the garden and really looking closely at all the plants.... She notes that she is reminded of "The Doors of Perception" by Aldous Huxley when taking in the extremely rich and overt detail we are seeing on everything and though we still haven't actually had the good fortune to use mescaline or mescaline-containing cacti yet, she feels that what we are experiencing in this moment may be the closest we have actually gotten to experiencing the kind of mescaline-induced state he describes in that book yet, and it's of course worth noting that nutmeg contains elemicin, the allylbenzene analogue of mescaline, as well as even higher amounts of myristicin, which is sort of like a mescaline-MDA hybrid except in allylbenzene form the way that MMDA is that as an amphetamine instead, and we haven't actually used any other 3,4,5-substituted phenethylamines yet, so she may be quite right on this assumption based on what I can say about it so far. But we'll definitely have to try mescaline in the future some time soon enough to verify for sure, for science! ;)
T+9:49 - We're now watching Family Guy on TBS waiting for the new episode of American Dad! to air later on in the night. Rho smokes another two bowls or eight hits with our parents from T+9:54 to T+10:00 and then starts looking at and appreciating art on Reddit, and I'm getting some input into it all as well.
T+10:15 - Zeta was triggered back out by something happening on the TV, so she switched to reading the anti-MLM stories she likes instead and also ate some vanilla ice cream and chocolate syrup with our parents for dessert. From this point on we didn't take too many notes for a while as we were just watching TV to pass the time and getting pretty tired as we were doing so.... At T+11:00 Zeta noted that she was starting to drift or pass out on the couch into delirious dreamy stuff for a short amount of time, trying to stay awake but not totally succeeding at it. She also notes that she keeps thinking the Family Guy characters and in sports stadium seating even though they're not, and talking nonsense to one another, a very similar experience actually to something we got while dozing off watching TV on diphenhydramine once so many years ago.
T+11:33 - Welp, we fell asleep and missed the first few minutes of the show but it was just the opening, though in retrospect still feel it would have been really helpful to see. Got to watch the rest of the episode though including the intro song.
T+11:46 - We smoked a big bowl with just our mom and got between six or eight hits in I think, I want to say saying seven would be fair, and then we smoked a second smaller bowl and got we think five hits in.
T+12:00 - The episode ended, and it was a strange one honestly lol.
T+12:02 - I'm back in control and getting us in a hot bath now. I'm still feeling pretty high and especially now again after smoking, but it's still pretty clearly not just from smking too, like that definitely brought it out but the energetic trippy high is still going for sure.... I'm noticing the dry mouth again and it still feels like it might be like a deliriant-specific dry mouth, but it honestly never really got very bad at all even when we were tripping hard in a deliriant-like way and it's just difficult to tell.
T+12:15 - We have "Death of a Bachelor" stuck in our head and this triggers out Epsilon while we're lying in the still slowly filling up bath and she closes her eyes to see a faint and dark but obvious spiral arm visual, totally normal in style but still a bit more photorealistic and 3D than normal in the deliriant-like way, so it's clearly still going even if pretty reduced in strength by now. She notes that she is still feeling good too but definitely zonked and still tired and half-dreamy again too. She then ends up putting the actual song on again and notes that listening to music is still absolute bliss.
We all ended up putting on a lot of music during the bath, some repeats of before and some new stuff, and mostly just drifted off and zoned out during that time, but also browsed the internet just a little bit. It was a pleasant bath but not the most overwhelmingly alluring thing ever, and we ended up getting out at T+13:15.
T+13:40 - I'm eating a bowl of cereal before returning home to help settle our stomach again before returning home, it's very refreshing and tasty. We also smoke a small, partial bowl that remains in the bong when we are out there after eating starting at T+13:50.
T+14:11 - We have now made the super short trip home and picked up some lovely new allies that had arrived along the way, including some synthetic 3,4,5-substituted phenethylamines to expand our experience in that realm after all as well as a few other rare or novel molecules that we are interested in all of, though especially DOI! (Lambda notes as she is still obsessing about the DOB trip, she switched out just to type this, haha.) So that should all make for a lot of intriguing new exploration too, and though we won't get to do any of it until after our upcoming break from all drugs, it still accents our already very positive mood and just makes me quite satisfied for the night and with the way the day has gone. We are also still buzzing in the body pretty nicely by the way, in a way that was definitely enhanced by but still not caused by the smoking we had just done.
T+14:26 - I am texting a same friend again from earlier about plans to get super wasted on Friday, as it will be our last time drinking alcohol before the upcoming break and possibly ever, and also want to send her a message reassuring her of our motivation for that in this moment.
T+14:51 - Finished texting her, still buzzing but definitely feeling the tiredness creeping in again now....
T+15:00 - I dump all the kief I have into a bowl and get two good hits in. Finally, after this I am done notetaking for the night, and I get in bed ready to drift off....
T+21:08 - We wake up with Lambda at the front and she notes that she may feel a little buzzy still but can't tell yet, and is going to bathroom after which she feels it may be more obvious once we start really moving around.
T+21:13 - She then noted that when she got off the toilet to change the air conditioning to the heater, she felt a little dazed and dizzy again and it became obvious we were definitely still feeling something....
After she finished up in there I took back over and started typing up all of the notes from the trip from yesterday so far and did also note that I was still feeling good and buzzy myself, and stretching a lot while typing it all out was making me feel fantastic. I finished copying all the notes up to this point at T+22:44 and decided to take a break for the moment and go back to enjoying the high/trip state that was clearly still going right now.
T+22:53 - It's very easy to tell that the high is still going when walking around the apartment
T+22:53 - It's very easy to tell that the high is still going when walking around the apartment
just staring out the windows and thinking.... It's very contemplative and buzzy still, and subtle but honestly still not all that much more so than yesterday, it is coming down for sure but at the same time clearly not gone.
T+23:00 - Again not recommended but I feel no impairment at all so I drove to Braum's to get us some breakfast. Psi comes out to dance to "Havana" by Camila Cabello on the radio on the drive over, after which I come back out for it.
T+23:17 - I get back with the food and start eating, and it's delicious but this meal always is for me. It's hard to determine at this point how much is a direct enhancing effect and how much is just me feeling great about everything and that includes the delicious food I'm eating but I love it either way.
T+23:43 - I was eating the food slowly and I was reading a long and beautiful mescaline trip while doing so to keep my mind busy and just as a way to spend my time for the moment, and I felt I could relate quite a lot to it through what we had been through here and really just made me and all of us want to try mescaline far more than we even already did. We've really got to get around to that before too long.... I also finished eating the meal at this point and again it was really good, but hard to eat by the end too because it was so filling.
T+24:23 - Just finished reading that mescaline report.... Feeling very contemplative and just generally happy now. I'm still feeling a good buzzy high too and stretching still feels quite nice, but not as much as when we first got up, and it definitely all seems to finally be fading somewhat, though clearly still not completely gone nonetheless.
T+25:01 - Lambda has been commenting for herself and myself on trip reports and just stopped for moment and noticed we are definitely still high.... It's not as euphoric as before but the same sort of altered body feeling and general sense of relaxation is still there. She continues commenting on reports until T+25:25 and then switches back to me so I can have us take a shower.
T+26:01 - Done showering... and once again masturbated in it, this high does honestly make it hard to resist temptation even as it tails this much like psychedelics often are for us. It felt great and even though I was clearly still less high than before, now that I'm back sitting on the couch admittedly obviously still a little bit high too, my body does feel extra super relaxed again and I'm just in a very peaceful stupor overall.
T+26:20 - I sit on our sofa chair again and stare into the darkness behind our eyes, and there is an extremely faint and almost colorless but still obvious psychedelic patterning effect transforming extremely rapidly in a way that reminds us of smoked tryptamines like DMT as well as muscimol, and it reminds me that I am definitely still on a powerful hallucinogen even if not very much at this point.
T+26:25 - Lambda is thinking a lot about how this trip report will be and reflections on the experience in general and is starting to switch out without meaning to but then holds back for my sake, to let me learn to differentiate myself in general and my psychedelic desires and thoughts specifically from her more as we get more used to each of us individually taking and preferring different drugs and then writing about them like this, which I am quite grateful for and find very rewarding. Lambda and I spend a little time after this texting or messaging people online a little bit about the trip mostly but then decide to pack up and make the short trip to our parents' house again at T+27:40 so that we can smoke a little more and have at least someone else to be social with since we have all this energy and wouldn't feel safe enough driving ourselves anywhere else that was any further away.
T+28:10 - We smoke two bowls between us and get roughly four hits on both.
T+28:22 - The high is definitely still bringing the trip back, my vision feels like textures are zooming back in in an abstract way that I compare to coming up on a psychedelic or dissociative trip and especially when first smoking weed on them like this is our first time for today, and Lambda comes out and is talking to our dad and notices it especially while trying to keep a train of thought going and it's pretty significant at that time, but overall it is still obviously very weak by this point like the trip is on its very last breaths.
T+29:17 - Rho came out and starting discussing or debating with our dad about the way "instincts" and "reason" work and whether not those are fitting terms and how it applies to the evolution of the brain to the point of humans and conscious planning and language and some other related stuff, but of course we weren't really taking notes throughout the conversation. She does note though that she feels not only totally lucid throughout the conversation but perhaps even has a greater ease of conversation of this sort not unlike what we used to get in the later hours of MDMA. She also notes that the marijuana high helps a lot but she definitely is still feeling buzzed and has that nice cool but euphoric skin feeling standing under the fan and extra energy to pace around and think deeply about the topic of discussion.
T+29:35 - I've switched back out again mostly without much clue of what to do at this point.... I note that we're just barely buzzing but still feeling nice, as usual by this point.
T+29:50 - Lamdba made note of browsing the internet again and also how we were the process of getting some good new cannabis to smoke that should be much more potent even that what we've already been using this whole experience.
T+30:30 - We have the new marijuana to smoke now and go through two bowls, no idea how many hits because we got suuuuuuper baked and couldn't even try to think about keeping track of that, and in fact it was strong that just for the briefest second we started to see the "dream fog" visual filling the room again, but it was just a very quick flash and now no longer had not only any dream imagery but also not even any abstract psychedelic color patterns or anything, it was just the fog itself quickly coming and then vanishing again. It proved beyond all doubt to us that we definitely were still feeling it at this point, but also just how little we were feeling it by then. The smoking did still manage to crank up the lingering body high quite nicely though, though that's in part because by that point it was more so just that the very slightly lingering body high was accenting the very powerful cannabinoid body high, but it was still making it quite noticeably different from just how the smoking high would be on its own.
T+30:42 - Lambda can't stop talking to our parents about how much she loves nutmeg, how it has no real discomfort for us, a great high, a great state of mind, like being psychedelic but relaxed, very intense and awesome but still easy visuals, and incredibly synergy with the cannabis high, and we're just in a place now that we're so happy and contented and energized and creative and talkative she can barely stand it.
T+30:48 - Omicron started realizing how much the feeling Lambda was raving about reminded her of the feeling she loved so much about MDMA, so she switched back out to give that comparison another shot. She went outside to appreciate the natural world and found that it was beautiful but also wrote that it was "very bright!" She also ate same strawberries which she very much enjoyed and then went and crouched down next to one of our parents' cats, a relatively young female, where she was curled up in one of the dining room table chairs. She mostly just looked up and down at at us and the rail of the back of the chair, and then Omicron got back up and went to sit down on the couch. She noticed that it was 4:18 and was about to go point this out to our mother who certainly would want to smoke a 4:20 bowl if she knew, but right at that moment the cat jumped off the chair she had been curled up in and came over to us and started waiting for Omicron to pet her, and after she did she went and laid down on the floor near us and curled up there and just started purring, so Omicron no longer wanted to move and disturb her. Luckily, our mother walked back out into that part of the house exactly at 4:20 and Omicron exclaimed it so, so they ended up smoking another bowl of those very powerful buds.
T+30:56 - Omicron notes that she is done smoking and "soooooo baked" now and ready to start enjoying this high like it's MDMA or at least something close to it, so she puts on some EDM of the kind we both used to listen to a lot back when going out dancing many years ago and also that we have been listening to more lately for the next half an hour or so, and as she listens she dances harder than any of us have danced in quite a long time now and does honestly maybe the best dancing we ever have yet, to the point that we all clap and cheer internally for her because it was great! And we feel wonderful but also extremely exhausted in the best possible way ever. At T+31:24 she has had her fill and leaves a very positive note for us and switches back in with a smile. I really appreciate and admire her personality too and also make a positive note about that in our notes, to which she blushes internally.
T+31:26 - Our parents are now leaving to share some of the new very potent marijuana with some of our close family friends and we've decided to go along for the ride and get high as hell with them too because why not? Our dad got really emotional about thinking we were leaving him behind when I told him we were going too though and his negativity actually kind of brought us down and was hard to shake for a good few minutes after that, the emotional empathy was intensified like normal and I couldn't shift my thoughts away from the negative, which also gave me a lot of introspection about how much time we spend around our parents in general, but luckily it started to pass before too long and especially once we arrived at the other house and things became positive again. It's also worth noting that on the drive I had some slight mind's eye visuals that were similar to the white energy streaks we were having before when going really strong, except they more of an orange-red and were acting like tracers for the outside world as we drove by it.
T+31:51 - We arrive and Rho and Zeta start somewhat rapidly switching out between one another for a while as sometimes happens in various social situations for us. They're happy to be playing with our family friends' dogs and also finally getting to smoke out of a big bong as we haven't had one to use for this whole experience yet up until now. Rho also makes note of grabbing a 7 Up at T+32:03 and Zeta makes one of us sitting on the couch four minutes later.
T+32:12 - Zeta has a slight panic about the vasoconstriction potential of this drug, not really so much on its own but combined with the fact that we've been tripping closer together than we normally do and just recently took DOB and try to be cautious about our veins, but we really don't think there is much worry. Kappa switches out to help her calm down and she realizes it's mostly the fact that we're sitting in a room with weird lighting and under a fan on high, it makes our skin look pale and feel soft but there's nothing actually different compared to how we've been before, it just tripped her out a little bit in our very high and increasingly exhausted state.
T+32:19 - Omicron comes out a little more to talk to our family friends about their dogs, and she wants to mention a little about the nutmeg but never gets around to it and just lets it go eventually. At T+32:23, she made a note that she just realized that for the first time of any of us throughout all of this experience so far that while we were incredibly high at least from the marijuana smoking, in that moment she could no longer confidently determine whether or not she could still feel the nutmeg. After focusing on it we felt she was right.... It's not necessarily completely gone, but it's officially dropped off enough now that it really could be now, which really wasn't the case before now.
T+32:30 - Rho switches back out for when we're leaving the house. She feels like she can maybe still feel something of the nutmeg high just a little bit again now but just barely if at all so the doubt obviously still shows and the experiences is clearly not pretty much if not already entirely over. She notes that she feels good for what it's worth.... Tired, but like she's had a nice trip, good and refreshed. On the ride home, the colors of the outside world were still very bold and beautiful and just a little bit streaky and music still sounded extra nice.
T+32:46 - We're home now and definitely feel more normal, it's probably slightly there but hard to tell or detect for sure, but at the same time it definitely feels like we're writing a lot of notes and maybe still have at least some trailing CNS stimulation going (like after an LSD trip especially for example), so maybe there is still a little something, but physically we're super relaxed and pooped but in a good way, very satisfied and happy....
T+32:51 - I actually switched back out here and we ordered Chinese food for dinner. At this point I start to suspect that we may be feeling just the slightest bit of a "crash" like phenethylamine psychedelics, and especially longer-lasting ones, can often give me, but it's still pretty mild if really there at all. Truly we are probably mostly just tired and completely exhausted but really still feeling great internally.
T+33:02 - Kappa comes out and eats some strawberry cake diet snack thing while waiting for the food to arrive to help our stomach and is feeling better again, though she also notes we're starting to switch a lot seemingly out of exhaustion which is something that happens to us, which is annoying because needing to switch causes psychosomatic symptoms for us like headaches and thus we are feeling those kind of things very frequently in this state.
T+33:25 - I had us take another shower while waiting for the food, and something very interesting happened in there. Recently Lambda wrote a report titled "User Control Panel" specifically just about marijuana where we had this very trippy reaction where it was like we could "send" different hypnotic commands to our body internally and feel ourselves act on those commands, things like laughing and crying and orgasming, and didn't know much of what to make of it at the time but figured we would follow up on it later. While were in the shower this time suddenly I felt that kind of state coming on again and tried to push myself further than we had gone before, I pushed the 'ORGASM' into myself until my body was reacting with fierce intensity and suddenly I popped out halfway into a psychedelic/dissociative out-of-body experience where my sense of self was flying all around the room in a way similar to but much more intense and chaotic than when I'm not fronting and our body became covered in abstract glowing red psychedelia lingerie imagery while the whole room turned to a strong shade of dark neon purple. This only lasted a brief moment, and then I popped back into myself feeling a huge rush of emotion. I then did the 'LAUGH' and then the 'CRY' and felt them very strong too though without the out-of-body experience, and then I did 'ORGASM' and 'CRY' and 'LAUGH' all at the same time and watch my body react with some kind of crazy explosion of a mesh of emotions that made it look like I was going insane for a moment, and then when it ended I just felt strange but also so happy and cleaned out.... I stopped trying to push it further than that afterwards and finished up the shower. When I turned off the water and stared at the ceiling, I noticed that there were slight but significant colorful psychedelic patterns pulsing around on it, but they faded again after I gave them my attention.
T+33:33 - I get out of the shower and the food arrives right on time!
T+34:11 - I'm done eating and note that it's delicious and I'm feeling so full and happy and just gooood overall, so high too but I really think mostly just from the weed smoking right now at this point, but it does honestly still feel a little bit like something more than that still.... Maybe I'm just super relaxed from a great couple of days?
T+34:20 - Smoked three more bowls of strong buds between us, just ridiculously baked now.
T+34:33 - Nu comes out to watch a specific commercial that's playing. She is a recently added alter to our system and has fronted a lot given that and we want her to feel welcome and accepted so we encourage it.... Her coming out also starts to trigger some other newer alters or ones who haven't fronted much too and there is a lot of emotion brewing around this in the system, but maybe because we're still so tired it doesn't go much further than that in the moment. Nonetheless, I write a message in our notes for all alters to remember that they're equally part of system and free to come out and make themselves known whenever the feel prepared.
T+34:36 - Rapid switching between newcomers and uncommon switchers, everyone lets go at once and it leads to swirling heart like ego shut down like 4C-D and DOB.... Blissful white light with no personalities active, just sitting there in bliss. After a short time I finally reboot and see similar imagery to before of how the other alters are also going to reboot and rain down, starting already while typing this, seeing their smiles in the mind's eye. Also before had closed eye visuals mild but clear like huge tentacles leading up to palm tree-like tops, similar to last time. Maybe this is still going, even if I'm too burnt to be high... or maybe it's just more visual than recreational in some ways, or maybe there's lingering psychedelic/deliriant visuals the weed is bringing out? Hard to say.
T+34:58 - We've been having some meaningful inner communications and Lambda actually just managed to get into the inner world, a dissociative inner space mentioned by many we've encountered with DID that we've been able to recognize in ourselves immediately since then but never seemed to recruit too much in our own DID circumstances by default and have always had trouble for most of us getting in or staying in long without dissociative or hallucinogenic drugs involved, or reaching the level of immersion that we would like to. However, Lambda has finally just gotten in to the point where she said it has a dreamlike realism to it, but only briefly and at the same time with only a very fleeting memory like a dream. Kappa practices too however using the same technique and is able to get in similarly fully and readily and remember it a bit better and describe some of the perceptions to us. I personally have not managed to get fully in yet, partially but not to the point that it becomes a complete out-of-body experience like they've described, so I listen eagerly. We have a thorough discussion about the contents of the inner world (which we all really know because we can all see inside easily even if we can't go inside, but it's still a curiosity to us to talk about) as well as the differences in the way time works in and out of there. Something that fascinates us particularly at the time and still now is that there appears to be an extreme time dilation component: every time someone goes in it only lasts for a few seconds on the outside and we see their actions happening very fast and cartoony in our mind's eye, but they experience it realistically in first-person at normal speed and always say it's felt like a minimum of a few minutes for them if not longer. We think this has a clear relation to other forms of hallucinogenic out-of-body experiences in general but will leave off the speculation on that for now in this report.
T+35:13 - We're going to watch one more episode of Bob's Burgers before our parents go to bed, and also eat some special cheesecake thing my mom had ordered. I feel like it was delicious but I'd be lying if I said I could remember nearly anything about it now, we were clearly very fried and tired at this point and it's hard to remember that much from a first-person perspective.... We also smoked two more bowls at this point.
T+35:25 - Rho notes that someone in the episode said "raise your hand" while her eyes were closed and she lots of closed eye motion-distortion visuals in the darkness of outlines of people raising their hands, and found it quite amusing.
T+35:36 - Kappa actually finishes eating that cheesecake and notes that it's extremely delicious, decadent, and filling. Shortly after, the episode is done and our parents go to bed, so we go to take a bath.
T+36:00 - I'm back out now in the bath just listening to some Pink Floyd.... Honestly don't know what else to do with at this point, I do like this but I think some of the others are getting more out of the super long duration, I'm just completely beat by this point.
T+36:16 - Rho is meditating in the tub and our sleep deprivation is now combining with the very slightly lingering trippy state to make some very powerful closed eye hallucinogenic effects as we almost but not quite fall asleep.... Things like watching delusional TV shows and then having the camera zoom out and you realize the detail you saw in the room you were in was actually just a gray reflection on another TV screen with nothing playing. Alternatively random super vivid words like zooming in on specific words on pages of a book you can't read the rest of flashing by, and other such delirious things.
T+37:18 - We had a few more internal conversations working out our feelings about where we are in life and our roles in our system as a whole and how they effect each other, and by the end of it I really genuinely wasn't sure whether or not we were really feeling the nutmeg essential oil anymore. I got us up out of the bath at this point, and upon standing up it definitely feels that we are a lot more sober than we have been in some time.... Usually standing up after so long makes us realize how out of it we still really are so when it doesn't happen that's pretty obvious as well. After getting out of the bath I actually had another bowl of cereal again to refresh us and then made again the short trip back to our apartment.
We wrote a few more notes the following day, but looking back, this is pretty much where the experience ended. The next day did feel like a bit of a recovery day and we were definitely still incredibly exhausted for it, but overall it felt much less like a crash than it did like a standard great psychedelic afterglow, and we were really in a great mood overall and also found the effects of smoking marijuana to dramatically intensified and also more positive and psychedelic than normal in the ways we are normally quite used to when smoking after great and refreshing psychedelic experiences.
In the end the effect of the nutmeg essential oil has truly surprised. We've never tried eating the nutmeg nuts themselves so cannot comment on what the difference compared to that is like, but the effect of the essential oil for us at least is top rate. It seems to have all of the hallucinogenic effects and then some that we ever previously wanted from diphenhydramine and/or MDMA without seeming to have any of the same problems (so far at least) that eventually stopped us from continuing to use either of those drugs any longer. This isn't to say it's going to turn out to be totally safe and I know there are some questions about allylbenzene safety already, but so far I think we pretty much found it worth it overall for what we know about those risks, and still nonetheless considered even what we have heard if potentially true to scare us off less than either of those drugs do honestly. It's not something we would really intend to use very often anyway and it truly was extraordinary and very therapeutic we would say as well for what it was and also amazing in that sense for how easy and risk-free is was to obtain and how little it actually took to get this much effect out of it.
In summary again it seems basically like a kind of psychedelic-deliriant hybrid similar to MDMA and what we've heard about MMDA with very high and unique hallucinogenic potential that for us at least seems to largely lack acute physical side effects (I won't promise there aren't chronic ones) while producing an incredibly euphoric but not overwhelming buzzy body high and a contemplative and creative and sometimes social or sexual headspace with lots of clean energy combined with physical relaxation and transitions into a state or pure and utter peace and appreciation of life that just slowly wears off over the whole two days since your first take it (assuming you take in in the morning) and leaves you feeling tired but incredibly refreshed and glowing like a good psychedelic should. That has been our experience with it anyway.... It is astonishing to us that it is not more popular than it is, but maybe it's simply that not enough people who can get this level of type of effect out of it as we have have tried it and talked about it yet.
This all being said, I personally again found the duration to be rather long and the trip to be fascinating but not exactly what I wanted the most, but that's just my opinion. There are some alters in here who are totally obsessed with the nutmeg essential oil trip and high now and specifically cite the super long duration as part of what they like similar to why they for instance like DOB or 2C-E, and there are some in here who specifically cite the style of trip it causes as why they love it so much, and to each their own of course.... Personally I think I may be one of us that leans more towards the kind of shorter but also harder-hitting trips that things like 4-substituted tryptamines provide, but I was still extremely impressed by and happy with this nutmeg experience regardless. It was definitely a kind of trip I think we needed and have really made good use of so far even if it's not always the one I'd want the most, that's not always the most important factor when it comes deciding what trip to take.
I've been writing this report all day and need to start focusing on some other things though so that's all I'm going to say about it for now!
COPYRIGHTS: All reports are copyright Erowid and you agree not to download or analyze the report data without contacting Erowid Center and receiving permission first.
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.