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Your Body is Attacking Itself
LSD
by Pot Leaf
Citation:   Pot Leaf. "Your Body is Attacking Itself: An Experience with LSD (exp112810)". Erowid.org. May 11, 2019. erowid.org/exp/112810

 
DOSE:
  oral LSD (liquid)
  1 oral Cannabis (edible / food)
    repeated smoked Cannabis  

BODY WEIGHT: 235 lb


Meeting God at the Hospital

My very first time taking LSD. I have been an avid medical cannabis user for 8 years now. At the time of the trip I was an undiagnosed recreational user. I had tried shrooms a couple times in the past and had a lovely experience. I do not use tobacco and drink on occasion.

3pm, Summertime, warm and sunny- I biked over to my friends house. Pat gave me a giant chunk of a strong toffee edible. I ate the whole thing and I am very use to functioning on edibles with a very high tolerance. I told her about my experience with shrooms and she grinned at me, pulling out a little vial with a snowman on it. "I'm almost out." She said. "I'll fill this vial up with water and give it to you for free. Don't be mistaken this is very strong, at least 7-8 hits so be careful". (She was wrong).

Pat accidentally got a little bit of acid on her skin and asked that I leave before she gets too tripped out. Even though she wiped off the vial, a few minutes after touching it, my hand began to tingle.

5pm- My whole body was welling up with energy. Lights were brighter. I saw patterns on the side walk on my ride home. Stopped at the store to pick up some food and felt as though I was in my own little bubble away from everyone else as I moved through the store, searching for my goods. I'm not tripping yet, this is barely a microdose, mild open eye visuals and changes in perceptions.

7pm- I arrive home with some Super Silver Haze and my goodies. I prepare myself a pizza and head to my room. I showed my brother the treasure I found with a beaming smile on my face. I was so giddy to try LSD. My little brother did not warn me that he had his friend over and they were smoking in my room...

8pm- After eating and taking a couple puffs of cannabis, I took the whole vial. Thinking "You can handle this". Big mistake. I will not romanticize this trip. Yes it was a profound experience but had I known what I was bargaining for I would have thought twice and reduced the dosage
had I known what I was bargaining for I would have thought twice and reduced the dosage
.

Pat was very wrong about the dosage. She later admitted it was closer to 10-12 hits. Although some trip reports where the person had consumed 30 tabs is closer to my experience.

Immediately, I felt nauseous. I have a weak stomach in general and continued to smoke. I began to feel overwhelmed by smell, light, and sound, as if I were about to have a migraine. I asked my brother to turn down the War Pigs by Black Sabbath. He and his friend refused to do so and became belligerent at this point. I did not imagine this and they often would act out so I had to kick his friend out. No one is going to smoke my weed and disrespect me.

8:15pm Within minutes my entire visual field was covered with swirls and patterns, bright flashing lights. The carpet in my room expanded, my room became huge then disappeared entirely. I was in a cave of visual, swirls, patterns, and lights. The music sounded far away like I was in a tunnel.

I could no longer function, I forgot I took a drug, I could no longer remember anything.

I accidentally drank bong water thinking it was a bottle of sparkling water. I remember becoming extremely hot and taking my clothes off.

I had a very bad headache and voice in my head said some unsettling things. Specifically, that "MY BODY IS ATTACKING ITSELF" I decided to lay down and try to sleep it off. This was another mistake.

I thought I went to sleep. I was very convinced I was sleeping in my bed but in reality I went unconscious. My sense of self was asleep but my body was still moving and acting on its own.
My sense of self was asleep but my body was still moving and acting on its own.


****The rest of this trip is pieces of memories that slowly came back to me and bits that other people had to fill in for me. As I stated above my self went to sleep but my body kept moving****

I think this may have been a psychotic break. I became very afraid of my house. I think due to bad memories or the fact that a lot of people have died and suffered here. You can feel it in the walls. Whilst still naked, I ran outside to my friend's house and started banging on the door screaming her name.

I laid down on their porch looking up at the stars. The whole world was moving and shifting. Creating cliffs and breaks in my once flat city neighborhood. The Earth was splitting apart. I could see giant cracks filled with nothing but dark empty space. Earth shattered.

My friend's Dad came outside and I ran away from him. Stumbling a couple times. My brother tries to get me back inside the house but I refuse screaming "I hate this fucking place, I'm not going in there!". I started saying awful things about my neighbor that "he was beating his wife" when in reality he is a really nice guy. Always cool and friendly.

The police were called of course. I was very lucky they didn't beat my ass. The detective, unfortunately, was the same detective who was there the day my father died. I felt very uncomfortable and tried to run away again but was caught in a blanket by another cop.

Sitting on my lawn, I looked up at the cop and tried to grab his dick. He dodged me then I immediately said "I'm sorry officer" giggling like a mad woman. Looking back, I'm so sorry for what I did to you, officer. I did not mean it and I'm very ashamed for assaulting you.

An ambulance came and the paramedic looked like a fat old version of a woman I disliked. I again tried to run but she grabbed me by my hair and yanked me into the ambulance. I started talking shit to them and the nurses. Saying thing I would normally never say had I been sober.

We arrive at the hospital. They inserted a catheter in me that later became infected. I was restrained so hard that after I woke up my pinky was purple from lack of blood flow and had no feeling. I said horrible, awful, hurtful things to the nurses who laughed it off but also instigated at the same time.

I'm gone again. The staff become malicious and throw me into a blender. I felt the blades chop me up starting from my right leg up. The whole room goes red like the sun. I'm pretty sure I'm dead at this point. Then I hear a voice talking to me. "This isn't where you are supposed to be right now." "Pick your guitar up and keep playing, you'll get good, if you die now how are you going to do that?" I'm pretty sure this is God. Whatever this being was, it knew me and all too well.

"What about your grandpa? Your brother? Your mom?" After God said this I began to see flashbacks of memories. Past, present, and future began to meld together. I saw everything. God said I'll get a second chance and to be kinder to the people in my life. I received words of encouragement and then after the last memory of my grandpa and signing off on this deal I returned.

I "woke up" or my sense of self did. I was in a white room. I was 100% sure this was purgatory. An Asian man wearing white stood in front of me looking as wise as Buddha. He asked "How are you feeling, are you awake?"

"Where am I?" I asked.

"You're at resurrection hospital."

I had no idea where I was or how I got there. How did I end up a mile from home? What are clothes? Where are my clothes?

The nurse proceeded to get me some food and water and encouraged me to stay away from drugs. Not likely but I thanked him and apologized for how I acted.

I was still tripping but at least conscious. The walls were still covered in sacred geometry.

My mom picked me up and took me home. Grilling me over where I got the acid from.

I wouldn't have called this a bad trip, the experience itself while terrifying was still breathtaking and mind warping. However, this is a bad trip because I had unintentionally hurt people in the process because I lost control of myself and that's my only regret.

I still enjoy LSD occasionally but I'm very careful about my dosage, environment, and make sure to have multiple sitters to prevent any mishaps.
I still enjoy LSD occasionally but I'm very careful about my dosage, environment, and make sure to have multiple sitters to prevent any mishaps.


I so truly wish I could enjoy this substance in a medical setting where it would be safer but that's not going to happen anytime soon.

The last thing I'll say is remember the beginning of my trip where a voice told me "Your Body is Attacking Itself"? It turns out I have autoimmune disease. 3 of them. During that trip I believe I had a Grave's Disease flare-up that possibly contributed to my actions and adverse effects. It may sound crazy but the voice was right.

I always learn something new when I take LSD. Its true that psychedelics provide valuable insight. If I never heard that voice I would have never taken the steps needed to get my AI disease diagnosed and under control. In a way, it did save me.

Exp Year: 2014ExpID: 112810
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: 18 
Published: May 11, 2019Views: 838
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LSD (2) : First Times (2), Train Wrecks & Trip Disasters (7), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Bad Trips (6), Various (28)

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