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A Hell of a Lot to Take It
Citation:   Dexxy Jehovah. "A Hell of a Lot to Take It: An Experience with DMT & MDMA (exp112558)". Erowid.org. Nov 13, 2018. erowid.org/exp/112558

  repeated smoked Cannabis  
  100 mg oral MDMA (capsule)
    vaporized DMT (powder / crystals)
My First DMT Trip, in Detail.

A few days before the event, my good friend who I shall name J informed me that his brother who I will name K, had acquired some DMT. I had pretty much no knowledge on the drug at all, except that it was one of the most powerful psychedelics in the world and that you will be blasted out of your body. Of course, at the time I had no idea what this meant, except that it was going to be seriously intense.

I went about my usual day, smoking cannabis and most likely playing video games or watching videos. When 6pm came around I made my way to the bus stop that was a 5 minute walk around the corner from my house. I was meant to be meeting J their who I was going with to K's house. We both arrived at the same time and had to wait only 10 minutes waiting for the bus, in the meantime we talked about the drug. Little did I know, that was going to be the last bus ride in my old life.

A little over 30 minutes had passed and we made it to our stop. We started to walk towards K's house which was about a 15 minute walk away. We got halfway when we were stopped by K who was driving passed, he gestured us to jump in and in 2 minutes we were at his house.

Now this was the third time I had ever met K, so I didn't really know too much about him. But I am very grateful that he was willing to show me, almost a stranger, this fascinating molecule.

As I walked inside I was greeted by a lovely dog who was a female, 8 year old American Staffy. K also owned a 14 year old male cat. I was greeted with a warm welcome from K and his girlfriend, like they always do. I found a place on the couch, grabbed myself a bong rip, and proceeded to chat for the next few hours about whatever came to mind. At some point through the night, K said it would be a lot better and easier if we had some MDMA as well, to make things a lot smoother. I had no idea of what combining the two drugs would do, but even though it was my third time meeting K, I trusted him.

So at around 10:30pm we both had a 100mg MDMA cap and enjoyed ourselves for a few more hours, smoking cones, listening to music and talking once again, this time whilst enjoying a very nice MDMA high.

At some point during the night, I'd say around 12:30, K had a knock on the door. It was from someone wanting to buy a few tabs of LSD. K had never met the person before but she had a lot of questions, and K had a lot to talk about, so he kept her company for a good 2 hours, just talking about LSD; its effects, things to look out for, etc. Just general information that is good for a first time tripper. Once she left, it was around 2:30am, and the MDMA me and my friend were on was starting to come down a fair bit. My friend was a little disappointed we had to wait so long but nonetheless we decided to smoke the DMT anyway.

The album Sharing Space from COG was already playing through spotify, I was asked if I would like to change it to something I would enjoy, but I said this was fine, not knowing what else to put on. K found a one hour kaleidoscope video from youtube on, it changed colors every minute or so. A few candles were lit, the lights were dimmed and all the stuff needed to smoke DMT was brought out. All sitting there on a coffee table in front of us.

My friend and I where indecisive about who would go first, we talked about it for a bit and settled on one way of choosing. We would paper Scissors, Rock for it, best out of 3. He ended up winning. But I really didn't mind because I was honestly a little frightened and intimidated not knowing what was going to happen. But then again I think most if not all people are the same before they blast off for the first time. I still get that insane anxiety to this day before I smoke it, and I've smoked it more times than I can count now. So seeing him go first really helped me let go and ease into it. I was glad of that
seeing him go first really helped me let go and ease into it. I was glad of that

The method choice of smoking was a small oil rig for cannabis concentrates. It was a small straight tube with a titanium nail on it. The nail was to be heated up red hot and then left to cool down for a minute, waiting till its roughly around 150c. Once it has cooled you drop your desired amount of DMT onto the hot nail and inhale all the smoke, keeping it in your lungs for as long as you can. Once inhaled you want to place a carb cap on top of the nail to catch any drift away smoke. In my opinion I think it is one of the easiest ways to smoke DMT, with little room for error.

K's housemate started off by heating the nail in the bong for J. He got it red hot then placed it on the coffee table in front of J to cool down. As he was heating the nail, J was trying his best to get all of his DMT onto the dabber scoop we were using to move the DMT. He managed to get about 80-85% on the scoop, and considering we both had 100mg each, I'd say he got 80-85mg on the scoop.

He lent forward placing his lips over the bong and started to inhale slowly, he dropped the DMT onto the hot nail and it instantly fizzled and vaporized. Some smoke pooled off the nail from J not drawing hard enough at the start but K made sure to breath it in through his nostrils, hard and fast, not to let any go to waste. J leaned forwards hunched over and his head fell down. At some point his head shot up and all he could say was “this is so damn beautiful” Over and over but in different variations. I'm not going to go into detail about his experience since I don't know all to much. But from the sounds of it, he had a wonderful time. Once J had fully came back down and was back to reality, he started to talk about his experience and share it with us.

Now it was my turn.

I sat in the center of the couch with the living room television directly in front of me, about 3 meters away. In front of me sat the bong, the torch and my DMT. K started to heat the nail on the bong up for me as I tried my best to get all the DMT on to the scoop, but in the end, gave up and asked K for help. He passed the bong and the torch to J and as K started to scoop the DMT out of the container onto the scoop. He got about 95-98% of it I must say.

Once he had it all on the scoop he passed it back to me very carefully as to not spill any. Then the bong got placed on the table in front of me. I asked J to hold my hair back so I didn't burn it on the hot nail considering it was such a small bong. I lent forwards and placed my lips on the bong. My head was completely silent, I had no second thoughts. Because of the MDMA, and not knowing what DMT fully does to a person, my heart rate was really steady. It was the least anxiety inducing toke of DMT I've ever had. Every other time since, my heart pounds so hard it feels like its going to fall out of my chest.

I started to inhale slowly at first, hearing the whistle of the pipe as the air was drawn through it. I proceeded to empty the DMT onto the hot nail were just like before, it was instantly vaporized. I tapped the dabber on the nail a few times to make sure no crystals were stuck to the scoop.

I breathed in as much as I humanly could. I instantly felt intoxicated. My motor skills felt like they were shutting down, getting very heavy and hard to move. While still holding the hit, I reached for the carb cap on the table and as I moved my arm it started to shake uncontrollably. My motor skills were degrading, and fast! I reached the cap and picked it up, it felt slightly heavier than normal. I moved fast, placing it over the top of the nail, to trap the smoke I missed. Once placed I fell backwards onto the couch and rested my back against it.

I began to let out the smoke after roughly 20 seconds of having it in my lungs. I felt an uncountable amount of hands reach up my spine and over my head, taking hold of me, filling me with warmth as my body started to vibrate. It felt like every single nerve ending on my body was wriggling in sync, at extreme speeds. I saw as the smoke left my lungs, it started to make a zig zag pattern up towards the roof, my vision started to get quiet blurry.

I started to closed my eyes and I could instantly feel myself getting pulled towards something. This giant green room started to form infront of me, it had the look of an un-meshed PlayStation 2 game, before they lay the final textures over the top. The walls were made of these geometric shapes that seemed to blend together at the seems perfectly. They were completely see through but with a bold deep, green outline. In the center of every shape was some kind of symbol, a letter or number of sorts, which were the same colour of green as the borders on the shapes. The language looked very alien to me, and I couldn't make out a single symbol on them. I could see through all the geometric shapes, as if they were windows. It seemed to have stars, light years away, that seemed to glint through the shapes on the walls. Which gave me the feeling that I was floating through a part of the galaxy, and this green room was just floating out in the middle of nowhere.

Then I heard it. This slight ring started to appear in my head. Soft at first, but then it grew louder, and louder, and louder, my body started to vibrate with it, making it seem even louder then it should. It got to the point where it was so loud, that it seemed like my ears were silent somehow, but I know the ring was still there because I could feel it leave later on in the trip. Once it stopped it seemed like this was the opposite of silence, even though my ears were silent. Its very hard to explain.

A tunnel opened up in the very back of the green room I was in. It seemed to be about 3-4 meters in radius, I felt quite small compared to it. I suddenly felt myself getting pulled towards it, with no way of stopping. I got closer and closer, and once I reached it I could see that it dropped straight down, into darkness. As soon as I hit the center of where the tunnel dropped, I instantly fell. Slowly at first, but then faster and faster. It felt like I was falling at light speeds, straight down through a wormhole. Kinda like the end of the movie Contact.

There was images and scenes that flashed by me on the walls, thousands, maybe even millions... they seemed to be traveling the same speed I was, but in my direction. So It all seemed like a blur as it flew past me. They could have been anything, but I knew it felt like information. I just wasnt able to focus on it from falling so fast so couldn't make out any of them. So much was happening at once that it started to hurt my eyes to even look at it, so I was forced to open them.

My eyes shot wide open and I couldn't close them even if I wanted to. My body shot upwards from the couch I was sitting in, and I starred directly into the Television in front of me. The Television had a kaleidoscope image that was spinning rapidly and at its center seemed to be a source of light, where bright oranges would spew out of and morph with the rest of the room, making everything spin in an orange circle around the center. It was like the room was now part of the kaleidoscope. It was so bright that my eyes felt like they were burning. I was seeing too much at once. Suddenly I managed to pull my eyes shut, but now they seemed locked tight. I couldnt open them back up.

As the Closed Eye Visuals came fleeting back to me, I noticed myself still falling, with more and more images flashing past me. At this point I had no idea what was going on. I started to panic. My breathing got stronger, my heart started to race, and so did my head. I thought this was DMT, I thought that what was happening was what I was there to see. So I got very frustrated at myself for not being able to hold in any of this information that was whizzing by me at light speed. I got so angry I ended up biting my lower lip and drawing blood, which I didn't notice till after the experience was over.

As soon as I bit my lip, my entire vision buzzed a deep red color, almost like blood. The color felt very angry, raw, and painful. Then after a second it was all black. I was just floating in nothing. Within another 2-3 seconds my hearing 'popped', and finally I could hear again, the sound of the buzzing had finally stopped. It felt so relieving. It was such a blissful feeling. Like your ears being filled with large amounts of warm energy. I thought to my self “thank you, thank you”, I was so glad It was over.
Suddenly this flash of light came speeding towards me lighting up some of the dark space around it. As it got closer it grew two arms. It seemed to grab me and hold me, making me feel safe and allowing me to forget about what ever it was that just happened to me.

We gently flew downwards and as we did, the ball of light started to grow legs, a body and a head, it seemed to all blend into this one bluish blob. But I could still make out all its limbs and the fact that it was embracing me with a warm hug as we fell into blackness.Out of his legs shot this great pink energy, of a color I have never seen before in my life. It was so bright and vibrant! Then shot out a blue streak of energy, then a green. All these colors spewed out and spiraled all around us. The started to merge together and form a little world below as. The greens made the hills, the blues made the sky and so on. It felt as if this entity was making it out of his own energy.

The sky turned from a pitch black, into a fully 3d world, which we were floating down to. The hills and grass were formed first. Making 2 small hills in the distance, and carrying on for as far as I could see. Next came the sky. The blackness got turned into this absolutely beautiful blue. Then shot out a giant healthy tree. Its wood looked like a running river, flowing with almost energy like waves. The whole world seemed to bend and move as if it was almost alive or filled with energy.

We both landed safely on the ground about 20 meters away from the tree. The being took my hand and led me over to the big tree. As we walked, a small, four legged wooden table seemed to form out of the grass on the ground, and behind it formed a small wooden chair. The being sat down at the chair in front of me on the chair and I seemed to watch from the other side of the table. I didnt have legs, I kinda just floated. I could feel my body in the real world, but my eyes were floating here in this world.
This is the first chance I got to actually get a good look of the entity.

He was very tall, about 7 or 8 feet. He had very blue energy like skin, that seemed to flow all over his body just like everything else in the world. He had a very pointed chin and nose, his ears were pointed and bent back slightly and he was wearing a large pointed hat, that matched the same color as his skin, all seeming to blend in as one. He didnt seem to have any joints or bones in his body, his arms just bend like tubes with no resistance. Same with his legs when he was using them.

He placed both his hands over the table and started to to move them in a swaying pattern. Out of nothing, something started to appear. A little hand crank operated Record Player. Although I could make this object out as a Record Player, it still had so much design and intricate work that looked as If it couldn't have possibly came from Earth. It was somehow Alien, old yet futuristic all at the same time. He started to rotate the crank on the Record Player and the band Cog started to play. (Before I smoked the DMT we had Cog playing on Youtube. It was about halfway through the Sharing Space album.) I could hear it echo across the lands, it sounded as if the music itself wasn't coming from the Record Player, but from the Heavens themselves, raining down on us.

After a few cranks of the device it seemed to wiggle and pull at its edges. Slowly losing its shape and form. He kept on cranking it and the music kept on playing, until the device finally wiggled too fast and popped. Instantly it was transformed into a book. It seemed to happen in a flash.The book was very large, as big as you would imagine a grimoire or a spell book to be. The cover looked like a kind of leather, but not the kind we have on Earth, it seemed different somehow. The book had a big lock holding it tight and closed. There was a big silver metal emblem in the center of it, it twisted and moved like the insides of a clock. The whole book looked very elvish in nature. The book looked like it could have been thousands of years old, except it still looked like it was in perfect condition as if it had been untouched by time.

I could still hear COG playing and raining its sound down upon us. Which I was very grateful for, since the silence between the tracks seemed very uncomfortable. Hearing music was very calming and relaxed me, it was a million times better than the ring in my ears was. It felt like it was soothing my ear holes.

I watched this book for a little bit, I didnt really understand why he was showing me this, but I felt so grateful for ever having seen it in the first place. It seemed to be a very important book, and I doubt many were meant to lay eyes on it. Just like before the sides of the book started to wiggle and pull. It got stronger and stronger until it popped into another object you cant see any transition again it was instant.

Now the book was an Apple. An impossible looking apple. It seemed to be picked from the heavens themselves. It was a bright, shining gold color. It seemed to reflect light off all its edges. I still have no idea why he was showing me this, I dont understand the book nor the apple. Though the voice in my head I told the entity that I was sorry. Sorry that I couldnt understand what he was showing me, I still thanked him for it. It had to be important, otherwise he wouldn't be showing me it. Just like the book, the fruit didn't stay for very long either. It started to wiggle and stretch. It finally popped into nothingness. The table had no objects left on it, only empty space.

My eyes forcefully moved from the table and over to my guides eyes. They were locked there, I couldnt move them a single bit. My guides hat started to melt and drip down his head and onto his shoulders. It started to take a form of a tail, that was flowing out of the back of his neck. It was made of all the colors of the rainbow. It looked like pure energy.

Next his head started to wiggle and pull at the edges, just like the music box, book and apple and like earlier, it suddenly popped but instead of turning into an object or into nothing it turned into a female version of himself, or herself. The long flowing tail was still visible behind her head. Her head started to lift off her shoulders, it was like water being cut in half, there was no jerking, breaking or anything, it just slipped off smoothly leaving behind his/her body behind. She was just a floating head with a tail. Although she had the most beautiful face. Its so hard to recall the look of it, but I can remember how much beauty I found in it.

She started to move and sway her head, initially from left to right, then up and down aswell. So her head was swaying in a infinite pattern, but not following it around in order, sometimes stopping and going back the other direction. My head was forced to move with hers. I had no control over it. It moved with her in perfect sways, I did this for what seemed like ages!

After a while I suddenly had this power, emotion or feeling wash over me. It didnt have a specific feeling but it made me want to move my head, like it wasnt locked anymore with my guides head. I started to move and sway, but this time she followed my movements. I rolled my head round and round, back and forth, any direction. It felt like we were dancing with each other. The love I felt from this was immense. I felt the love flow all down my body, all through my head and limbs. It felt so freeing to be dancing with her, I felt like I could do this forever but sadly it only lasted a short time.

Since I now had control back over my body and eyes, I decided to open my eyes again, to see how the real world looks while this was all going on. My vision was filled with red, green and blue laser. The filled up the entire room no matter where I looked. There was so many of them, it kinda of burnt my eyes a bit seeing so many things at once. I decided to close them once more and finish the end of my experience.

As my eyes closed shut, I was met with a site of my guide once more. Something was wrong this time. She started to melt, and drip just like his hat dad. Except this time it didnt morph or transform into anything else. It just fell and dropped down into the corner of my vision, like it was sitting on the bottom of my eye. I felt extreme sadness coming over me as I watched her melt. It took a little bit, but she eventually melted completely, leaving a dark, green and black ooze dripping down my vision and collecting at the bottom. It seemed to string and stick to the sides of my eyes. I sat there watching as long as I could, but it seemed like it was going transparent.

The drug was wearing off, and the hallucinations started to end. I sat with my eyes closed for another 30 or so seconds. Just taking in what I had just seen, and to say my thanks for what my guide shown me. The first thing that came out of my mouth was “wow”, which K replied with “I know.”

I sat there in my seat for another 2-3 minutes, just thinking about what had just happened. It was all so surreal. It was my first real big drug experience, so it was a hell of a lot to take it. Well I guess DMT always is hard to take in. I kept saying thank you in my head and reciting the whole experience as best I could so I wouldnt forget any of it.

I now rejoined the real world, once more.

Exp Year: 2016ExpID: 112558
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 20
Published: Nov 13, 2018Views: 1,570
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DMT (18), MDMA (3) : Entities / Beings (37), First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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