Citation: Madison. "Scared of my Own Reflection: An Experience with Spice-Like Smoking Blend ('The Joker') (exp110325)". Erowid.org. Jul 26, 2017. erowid.org/exp/110325
I just started trying spice about a week or two ago. I had this stuff called Scooby Snax and the effects were fine. It felt very similar to marijuana, which is what I usually smoke. But then I got some stuff called The Joker. It had a warning on it about how potent it was, and I was sure to be careful when smoking it.
It was probably 3 in the morning, and I decided to finish off a bowl from earlier that day. I didnt really feel anything so I packed another bowl and took one more good hit. I remember feeling a tense feeling in the back in my neck. I immediately laid down, hoping to feel better. Little did I know, I was about to trip balls. My heart started beating really fast and hard. When I would feel my pulse on my neck, it felt like it was jumping out. I started watching tv to try and get my mind off of it. But I couldnt focus. The picture didnt seem to be moving, and I caught myself spacing out, staring at the dialogue. I then tried getting on my phone, but couldnt focus on it either. I couldnt even text my boyfriend to tell him what was happening. Every time I tried to sleep, I would forget to breathe. I remember jumping up really fast and gasping for air. My chest started hurting crazy bad. I honestly thought I was going to die, laying in my bed, alone. I started imagining my body being found by my family or boyfriend. I couldnt look in the mirror because seeing my reflection scared the shit out of me. But I could see the reflection of my poster in the mirror. It had an image on an actor and was a scary looking poster. I was terrified of it. I wanted to rip it off the wall. All I could think about was the poster staring at me.
I tried watching tv again, and could see myself in the reflection of a tv, on the show I was watching. I started tripping really bad again. And the entire time, my chest hurt and I was worried I would die. I eventually had to go wake my dad up. When I walked into his room, he was already awake, smoking a cig. I told him what was going on, and he told me I would be fine in 20 minutes. He has also had experience with the drug. Simply from walking 10 steps, I started shaking a ton. I stood next to my dads bed for what felt like forever, holding my chest and shaking. I didnt even think to sit on his bed, so I sat on the floor. Slowly, everything started looking animated or cartoonish. And then I accidentally glanced at my reflection again, and got really scared. Even seeing my dads reflection scared me. But talking to him did help me calm down.
Even seeing my dads reflection scared me. But talking to him did help me calm down.
This all happened within 30 minutes, but it felt like a lifetime. I told myself I wouldnt smoke it ever again. But of course I did. I smoked twice the next day, and tripped out again. I smoked in my garage by myself. All I smoked was 2 hits, and I instantly felt tense in the back of my neck again. I knew I was going to trip again, but was in denial. I walked to my room, about 15 steps away, and felt horrible. My boyfriend asked if I wanted to jump on the trampoline, as we do pretty often, and I got upset. I had just sat down and felt terrible from walking. But I said yes, and got up. He asked if I was okay, and I lied and said yes. When we got onto the trampoline, my heart started racing. The tiny amount of walking had made me feel terrible. My boyfriend was scared for me. I felt like I had a huge lump in my throat. I was dying for a drink, but drinking only made it worse. It was uncomfortable and painful. I could hardly talk or focus.
My boyfriend, who's usually quiet, noticed that him talking was helping. He kindly sat and talked for about 15 minutes until I calmed down. I'd say I got addicted or something, because I swore to stop smoking it. And yet again, I did. Just today, I almost tripped out because my heart rate slowed down crazily slow. I couldnt feel my heart beat if I held my hand on my chest. And if I felt my pulse on my neck, there was probably a 3 second pause between each beat. (which is really slow.) I was scared I was going to die. Finally, I decided to throw that shit away. But now, I'm tired but cant sleep. I'm hungry but cant eat. I feel nauseous but wont puke. I keep getting really hot, and then really cold. Its terrible. But definitely better than tripping out on that shit. My advice, is to never ever smoke it.
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