Citation: Socratic Goldfish. "Not Worth the Side Effects: An Experience with Voacanga africana & Nicotiana rustica (exp109666)". Erowid.org. Dec 24, 2016. erowid.org/exp/109666
Expectations: Going in I had high hopes for this experience, I had read extensively on the therapeutic benefits of Vocanga. While I fully expected a ‘bad’ trip, this was because of past trauma I was aware I had experienced but couldn’t personally recall. I fully expected at least closed eye visuals if not open eye visuals. It was my desire to use Vocanga to confront these unpleasant experiences in my past and move forward from them. I wanted to use the seeds as a tool to mould my character like clay, not necessarily distorting myself into something that wasn’t me but smoothing out the bumps and highlighting the aspects of the self that I preferred.
Setting: To have the enlightening and life changing experience I went camping in the outdoors. The setting was peaceful and out of the way, the only life other than myself and my friends I was camping with were a few birds. It was a clear day and calming with people I fully trusted, the ideal setting for me.
The trip (given in 24 hour time)
15:00: Chewed 10g of seeds, walking around began I began to feel slight heart palpitations 20-30mins after consuming the last seeds.
15:35: After smoking a bowl of Aztec tobacco my hands appeared more detailed, I became quite relaxed enjoying the surrounding scenery. The leaf canopy above me was very soothing, lying down I felt quite at peace.
15:45: At this point I was noticeably under the influence, I became to be unable to be aware of anything other than my immediate surroundings that I was focused on. Completely unaware of conversations others were having around me, at this point I felt quite pleasant and alone in my own world despite a lack of visuals.
16:05: Everything appeared new, I recall specifically being shocked to note that there were 3 ‘layers’ of hills on the horizon and seeing the distant white caps on waves. However the dissociative effect that was beginning to set in made it difficult keeping track of thoughts.
I began to experience what could be described as a detached anxiety attack meaning that my body was nervous and jittery with an accelerated heart rate showing the full symptoms of an anxiety attack but my mind was not as disturbed in this regard. At this point I began to enter what felt like a dream like state, unable to perform small technical tasks like folding scissors and feeling quite detached from my surroundings.
16:34: Intensity reached a climax there was a growing feeling of unpleasantness. All stimulus became excessive and nausea inducing and I ended up hiding in a tent, at this point I thought the Vocanga was going to take full effect instead I threw up and the trip abruptly ended.
I thought the Vocanga was going to take full effect instead I threw up and the trip abruptly ended.
We packed up and went home.
Roughly 18:00 to 02:00 next day: I began to feel moderate stomach cramps walking and my stomach became rock hard to touch. After eating dinner I threw up violently spraying the walls around and even somehow behind me. While cleaning up the mess I had to pause constantly due to the increasing severity of the stomach cramps. This stomach cramps reached an awful climax when I was also experiencing vasoconstriction and cramping. The pain was so intense I was gasping for breath, not because of anything being wrong with my lungs but because breathing caused my stomach to move causing absolute agony. Closest thing I can think of to compare it to would be food poisoning. While the cramps did persist for several days it did gradually ease especially when I started to treat the symptoms as if it was food poisoning.
Closing thoughts: This was not the profound and meaningful experience I expected. My dreams afterwards where unmemorable and the ‘high’ while manageable was far from pleasant. While the potential reward for taking this substance can be apparently life changing it is still a poison (literally) and therefore can also be life ending. Personally I always look for something to take from these sorts of experiences and apply to my life, unfortunately with this experience there was nothing to be gained. The heightened appreciation for beauty and detail in the world around me is a trait I already possess and one that can be gained sober anyway.
All considered I found Voacanga seeds more comparable to a poison than a psychoactive substance and is something I definitely do not wish to go through again.
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