Citation: Cream Gravy. "Emotional Battery Halloween: An Experience with 2C-C & Methoxetamine (exp109470)". Erowid.org. Feb 21, 2017. erowid.org/exp/109470
||(powder / crystals)
| T+ 0:15
| T+ 0:00
||(powder / crystals)
| T+ 3:00
| T+ 4:00
I'm not normally one to post trip reports anywhere; normally I find it to be a somewhat personal thing and difficult to elicit with words, but there are times when I realize that I'm trying something few people before me have, and as such, it is my duty to tell my tale as best I can. This is one of those times.
Halloween is likely my favorite holiday. Usually I attend at least one dress up party if I can, and this year with Halloween on a Monday, I decided upon going to a Friday night party then resting the rest of the weekend so as to be prepared for this trip, Halloween night. That party ended with me ill and having a spotty memory, leaving me feeling cruddy all weekend, and as such, I think it somewhat colored my trip on Halloween night. Anyhow, I wanted to give context to this trip, as the days leading up to a trip are often more important in determining one's set than the actual day of the trip I've found. I'm currently in an upsetting period of my life where I'm struggling to find my calling in life. I have no idea what to do for a living and this weighed heavy upon my mind, as you will come to see.
The night started with me having some dinner with my folks, as trick-or-treaters started to come knocking. Knowing the festivities of the night would keep them occupied, I determined around 8:45pm or so that the time was right to begin my journey. I retreated to my room after doing a sufficient amount of schmoozing/house work with them to ensure they wouldn't come knocking to ask about anything while I was holing. I have go-to doses in my mind for both MXE and 2C-C when I'm seeking an 'average' trip, that being 40mg 2C-C, and 60mg MXE. Alone, these doses are enough for a good but mild trip, if not lacking slightly. Knowing this, I decided that these two set doses would be perfect to get me out there but not have me screaming at the walls and startling the rents. I weighed out the 2C-C and gel-capped it first, then cleaned the scale and plopped on my MXE dose.
I weighed out the 2C-C and gel-capped it first, then cleaned the scale and plopped on my MXE dose.
My preferred ROA for MXE has always been nasal and as such, I dumped the tray of powder out onto my desk so I could make roughly three equal looking lines to snoot.
So, anyhow, at 8:45pm I insufflated my first ~20mg line of MXE. I decided to watch an episode of 'Tales from the Darkside' to entertain myself while awaiting the comeup. About 15 minutes into it, I popped my 40mg gelcap of 2C-C into my mouth. So it begins, I thought. Psychs always have a tendency to give me painful, uncomfortable comeups, and as such, this was weighing on my mind and coloring my emotions for the first half hour or so. Knowing the warmth of MXE was rushing upon me at about T+20 minutes helped me to relax and abate some of my anxiety.
After the TftDs episode wrapped up, I snooted my second line of MXE. At this point I could feel both drugs coming on hard, and decide upon another 'Darkside' episode to watch while I wait to take my third and final line of MXE. Following the plot in the show became increasingly difficult. The plot was becoming strange and emotionally turbulent (this guy's voicemail machine was somehow self-conscious and ruining his life, quite strange), and about halfway through, I couldn't watch any more. I turned off the show (this is about T+35 minutes now) and decided to turn on my speakers and hookup my ipod to listen to... something. Anything, as I knew all I could do now was lay in my bed and hope for the best.
I determined finally, after much deliberation, to listen to an album called 'Planetary Unfolding' by Michael Stearns. This is an ambient album which I've listened to on a number of solo journeys, and have found to be incredibly far out and mind boggling. The album seemingly loops into itself over and over and you never know when it's going to end. Over the course of the album (ending around T+60-80 minutes) I did a fair bit of thinking while laying in my bed, intermittently becoming overwhelmed by visual stimuli and rolling around. The visuals weren't the usual for either of the drugs however; MXE usually warps and enlarges/shrinks objects and spaces around me, while 2C-C is usually a colorful and melty-type visual. In combining them, I got a murky visual experience which is hard to put into words. It was like both drugs were fighting each other, trying to be the visual stimuli to win out. An occasional pink or blue hue would color the ceiling, only to be blurred out by the morphing nature of MXE. It was hard to focus my eyes on any one thing. Any object I looked at lost focus and had a sort of 'shaky' visual to it.
As the album progressed, I found myself being intermittently amused by the strangeness of the trip and the complexities of the music, interspersed with moments of dysphoric self-concern. One moment I would be laughing what I know as a primal 'this is absurd' type laugh, the next I'd be curled up on my side agonizing over my loss of direction in life. I haven't much money and I haven't a true way to guarantee I get any more. I can't for the life of me figure out what to do to make enough of a living that my girlfriend and I can move in together... I kept thinking about this, about how my girlfriend too is floundering, not to mention stuck in student debt... So the trip became colored by the fight between insane blissful moments of true trippy amusement, and moments of intense emotional anguish over my listlessness.
As the album wrapped up, I quickly realized it wasn't really that late yet (roughly 10pm now). I had initially planned to go out and watch a movie in the living room as the trip wound down, assuming it would be late enough that my folks would have been in bed. I was wrong, both were still up, and I simply couldn't face them in the state I was in. So, what to do? I hate watching movies on my computer, as the screen is so unsatisfying. I had just earlier that day hung up about 8 posters that I had brought home from college a year and a half ago and had never hung up; one was a poster of the album cover from Pink Floyd's 'Wish You Were Here', and upon seeing this again, I realized how long it had been since I'd heard that album. I was feeling very melancholic and was thinking of friends I never see any more, about a roommate from college who first introduced me to acid. This guy, we'll call him Frank, was a strange occurrence. He was from a small town just outside our college town, and always had the drug hook ups. We had a lot in common and initially hit it off great. As the years of college progressed, however, Frank started attending music festivals and quickly became (what I have no better term for) a deadbeat-hippy type. He stopped hanging out with our group much, would be gone for nights on end without telling anyone what was up, he stopped helping us get herb and 'cid. He started going off the deep end from my perspective; he picked up a heavy tobacco habit, he stopped trying in school and eventually dropped out, and just in general became distanced from us.
Tying this into the trip (I know, I tangent bad), 'Frank' had worked at a thrift store in our college town when I still knew him. One of the store frequenters knew he liked vinyl, Pink Floyd, etc. and had bought a 'Wish You Were Here' record, only to bring it back and give it to 'Frank'. The subject matter of the album really reminds me of 'Frank', and thinking back on these 'coincidences', I laughed a good hearty laugh, and finally decided that I should pop on that album. And what a choice it was! The music brought me to tears a number of times, and although the trip was mellowing past the peak now, I was still 'in it'. I ruminated over lost friends, lost connections and people I love; I got up at one point and had a long text conversation with my best friend, who I've been somewhat distant from recently as I've grown more and more depressed about my living situation. He told me not to worry, that I wasn't a douche, that he understands and loved me with the same passion still that I so love him with. Sometimes I think that if my sexuality were pushed just two centimeters to the left, he'd be my lover... but anyhow! Talking to him was cathartic, listening to that album and thinking about 'Frank' was cathartic, and overall, I felt a bit better at the conclusion of the last bit of 'Shine on You Crazy Diamond'. At some point about mid album, I also got out my wax pen and took a few fat rips, which of course propelled me into a deeper trip and helped to alleviate some of my concerns in life for those moments.
I was now about T+3:00, and the upstairs of our home was finally vacated. I decided to go out and pop on 'Boogie Nights', a favorite of mine for God knows what reason. About ten minutes into the movie, however, my mother decided to start praying a rosary out loud in the room just below me, where I could hear her over the film. It being a movie about the porn industry in the 70s/80s, I decided 'fuck me this is too much', turned it off, and decided to hole up in my room until my mother's creepy seemingly-pagan rosary chanting rolled to a close. I put on an album on my computer called '1979' by Deru. It was perfect for the moment, and while I listened, I decided to browse BL to alleviate my need to do 'something'. Browsing became difficult though, and I started to find that a lot of what people were posting made absolutely no sense to me. I did, however, find an amazing tangent point; one of the user handles I've seen many times is 'PriestTheyCalledHim', and being curious about whether this was a literary reference or something, I punched in those words into google to see what would come up. I was lead to a reading by William S. Burroughs, with Kurt Cobain doing background guitar stuff; however, I couldn't find a recording, only info. Burroughs had done a reading for VH-1 once though, called 'A Junky's Christmas', and upon finding a restored video of that (it has a claymation visual to accompany his reading) decided to give it a watch. This was a downright depressing story for me. I won't engage in telling you the story myself, suffice to say it's worth a read/listen.
'A Junky's Christmas' left me feeling sad and down upon myself, but luckily, upon finishing it, (T+4:00 maybe?) I found that the house was finally dark and both my folks were sleeping. I packed up a bowl of good weed, tip-toed out to the garage in the complete dark (I'm very stealthy... years of being a stoner has given me this odd ability), and popped on my headphones some music, mostly Radiohead's 'Amnesiac' album (highly recommended). The bowl was pleasant and gave me some more time to think about what I had experienced all night. It was a nice distraction after the depressing claymation I had just viewed.
I came back inside (roughly T+4:30) and put away all my smoking gear, and fired up the tv finally to finish 'Boogie Nights'. I found this tale too to leave me in a melancholy state though, and I found myself fast-forwarding through quite a bit of it. Finally about 6 or 7 hours after the trip had begun, it was 3:30am, and I was feeling worn out. My emotions were sick of being toyed with, and I finally crawled into bed a final time to drift off to sleep, achieving it maybe around 4am or so.
Honestly, the combination of 2C-C with MXE is one I'm not likely to repeat.
the combination of 2C-C with MXE is one I'm not likely to repeat.
The whole time the two drugs felt like they were fighting each other, and all I seemed to be receiving was the side-effects of this fallout; my gut was clenching, I was constantly thirsty, I had trouble keeping my feet warm, and I was filled with worries and anxieties. I had trouble focusing on things, and I didn't reach the point that I had desired to when embarking on this journey. I think that a bit of it is due to me not 'tuning' with MXE the days prior, as I've found dosing MXE multiple nights in a row helps to create a more clear, euphoric experience, but I can't chalk it all up to that. Frankly, my set and setting weren't the best, and that part is on me. I might try MXE with other psychedelics in the future, but as of right now, I think I'll be leaving MXE and 2C-C far apart.
It's hard for me to sum up this experience in a concise paragraph, and as such I cannot provide a tl;dr. Sorry!
If you read my whole report, I hope you enjoyed it. I felt the need to write this time, so write I did. I doubt many people in the future will have access to both these drugs, and as such, this report cannot offer much to many other than to be a tale of a drug combo they can never know; rest assured those of you too late to the game, you may be missing and wishing for both these drugs, but you may not miss them both together.
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