Citation: nervewing. "New Year and the Mother Moth: An Experience with LSD, 2C-B & 3-MeO-PCP (exp107833)". Erowid.org. Jan 10, 2017. erowid.org/exp/107833
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||(powder / crystals)
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| T+ 8:30
||Pharms - Alprazolam
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200 ug LSD (sublingual)
35 mg 2C-B (oral)
10 mg 3-MeO-PCP (sublingual)
10 mg 3-MeO-PCP (insufflated)
80 mg DALT (vaporized)
T0:00-Happy new years! Itís about 10:15 PM, I am going across the city to go to a party with my friend. I take 2 tabs of acid and pack up the rest of my party supplies and go.
T0:30-I am definitely feeling the first notes of the acid. Not a sort of distance or dissociation, but warmth and a feeling of being in tune with my mind and body that I get when I hit a sweet spot dose of 200-300 ug. A perfect party dose.
T1:00-I arrive at the party. I quickly pop 35 mg of 2C-B in a gel cap. I had a pretty large meal about 3 hours ago, so Iím not really sure what will come of this.
T1:45-Itís midnight. Happy new years. Iíve been socializing fine all night, albeit a bit strangely and awkwardly, but I donít mind. Iíve been sitting in the back yard smoking weed for the entire party, the cold isnít bothering me at all. Visuals are very light, only can be seen when I look at the ground or look into the sky, typical patterns. The trip feels very light so far, it would seem like the 2C-B is still on the onset. I shouldíve taken it earlier.
T3:00-Itís later and the party is winding down, I dose the 3-MeO-PCP now by popping open the capsule and pouring the powder under my tongue. The inside is less crowded so I feel better about going inside. I feel a feeling of confidence coming on. I feel like dancing, I feel like partying, it feels warm and pleasant. Too bad the party is winding down.
T3:40-I decide to head home now. Everyone is going to their respective homes, and I realize im not going with anyone. Whatever, this will be more fun. I feel immune to the cold night as I walk to the subway station. I wonder how it would feel to suddenly become the victim of a violent crime, to get stabbed or shot. What would I do? Would I just go home and deal with it or accept death? Would I go to the hospital? Fun thoughts. I reach the subway station and take a seat. The platform has all sorts of new years revelers milling around. I see mice running around since it is around 2 AM. I decide to kill time by reading about them. Fascinating creatures, its odd to think someone as complex as a mammal has become so ubiquitous and numerous, and that something as complex as a mammal has infested the highly specific ecosystems that humans create. I suppose thatís why there isnít much diversity amongst vertebrates in these settingsÖ but I digress, I am coming up substantially now, with very strong and distinctly 2C-B visuals appearing on every surface. I become transfixed by staring at tiles, which are decorated with striated and striped foliate patterns. There seem to be subtle faces hidden amongst the patterns but it is dominated by an organic sort of abstraction.
T4:00-The train comes. I sit in a car behind a person. People are looking at me, its an appropriate night to act like Iím so fucked up that I donít notice though. The person in front of me has a voice that comes from eating lit cigarettes every day for 10 years. I canít tell if sheís coughing or talking, but she asks if Iím okay I think, then says something dismissive sounding. Eh. The train pulls into the central station where I have to transfer. Holy SHITttt is it crowded. Itís like 2:30 AM and its packed with revelers. I duck off into a little corner and stare at the wall until the train comes. Catching snippets of peopleís conversations around me is very very odd. People are weir, everyone looks like caricatures, or stereotypes of their given subcultures. I recognize some people as they run around the platform in and out of my field of vision, assign them character personalities and stories. At last the subway comes. Things only get worse. Now this dense mass of people must squeeze into subway cars. I get in, but barely, I am pressed against a window and tripping fucking balls. Flashes of green and pink hit my peripheral vision and illuminate patterns on blank or mottled surfaces. I am wearing headphones and manage to drown out a lot of the people noise around me, this calms me down. A person sitting in front of me looks like sheís on the verge of crying. The boy next to her keeps trying to console her, and eventually it seems like sheís passing out, and he has to keep her upright. Weird thing to witness while dissociating into a world of patterns. I eventually reach my stop and push my way out of the subway car. This ordeal has lasted a great while. I finally get home at about 3 AM.
T5:15-After hanging around the house for a bit and basking in how many balls I am tripping, I take a shower. In the shower I think about a lot of things that I donít feel comfortable writing about. A lot of it is plotting, manipulation, dark thoughts and things that make me a bad person. I suppose this is what comes with the territory of confidence.
T5:25-I get out of the shower. I rail another 10 mg of 3-MeO-PCP because why not, itís new years.
T5:40-The ceiling looks like itís a dome, its bending away from me and being touched upon by patterns formed from right angles. Suddenly the greatest softest feeling washes over me. I feel like a moth, I literally feel like a moth. I am soft, I am fluffy, I am lightweight and I can fly. I feel like I am made of dust, I am covered with downy hair and downy scales, I am a cottonball with great muffled wings. The word ďmothĒ is weird to me. I know it designates an animal, but when I hear the word the association isnít made. It is lost all its symbolic meaning, it is simply a lonely and unattached word now. I am not a ďmothĒ I am that animal that is covered in fluff, with 2 wings covered in downy scales, and feathered antennae, primarily nocturnal and rests with its wings open. I feel so soft, I feel so warm and snuggly, I wish I had someone to cuddle with right now. I listen to really pleasant soft music. It feels indescribably beautiful. I am somber but I have opened a brief bubble of glowing respite, glowing like the moon in a lukewarm night, the moon that moths flutter in the silvery glow of. I honestly donít know whatís real or whatís not anymore. My memories feel so distant. Like I know Iím not a moth, but thatís it. I have no idea whatís real or not beyond that, but It doesnít bother me at all.
T6:00-I go outside. Iíve decided I am going to try smoking DALT out there. It takes me forever to get ready. I keep losing track of what Iím in the middle of doing. I keep losing track of where I put things. I keep getting distracted. It feels like the myth of Tantalus. My short term memory is fucked. I finally manage to get outside. I was gonna lounge in the bathtub we had back there and smoke. I make a shocking discovery. Our backyard has been cleaned up and our bathtub has been cut into pieces and stacked in a corner. What the fuck. Who did this. I begin to think I am just hallucinating this, that I have really gone that far. I wake up my roommate and get him to confirm. I am so scared. Waking him up is weird. His voice doesnít sound like his and he doesnít look like him. Itís really unnerving. He confirms that I am not hallucinating our backyard. Whelp. Thatís disappointing. I go up to my room and decide to just smoke the DALT in there.
T7:00-The smoke tastes like sweet DMT, it is a very subtle but manageable acrid, it tastes sort of like pumpkins but it is wholly a unique odor. Each hit I take feels like I am being pulled further and further out from reality, into a grand fractal globe of repeating concentric patterns. Like a great cosmic tongue, reaching out to taste me, and my essence swirling away from me to meet it. At last it savors my flavor, and draws me into its maw. I am truly gone.
T7:20-I close my eyes and it feel my body fade to nothing. I feel it melt into my sheets, become a part of the great fractallized diamond everything around me. I am so distant from myself, I feel the love of some motherly feminine essence envelop me. It feels like an embrace from the fluffy legs of a moth, it feels like being enshrouded in its dusty wings. A great green glow permeates this realm and cascades around me. I do not feel like I am contacting an entity, merely touching with and embracing a personification of some inherent essence of the universe or of my internal self. I feel this great motherly presence descend from the sky and enshroud me in great smoky fingers. It feels like the hand of god, it feels like divine protection and the fire of life and the burning back of forests of death.
A great glowing pastel crystal fractal flower blooms above me and blossoms into infinity. Death is something to think about here. My heart is racing, what would happen if I were to die? My existence, everything became a great intricate skull, one that seemed to be woven from a billion waxy fibers, it was like a cattle skull, flashing in deep green and crimson, it was the idea of death, encapsulating all the fears and notions the living hold towards it. It was a great desert that was blossoming with life, it was an oasis of existence. Everything felt so natural and perfectly in place, and so beautiful. I felt cleansed and healed, the energy was pastel pink, green, turquoise and blue. I felt the same strike of life force Iíve gotten from other trips, especially mixing psychedelics and dissociatives. This essence, this non-entity that I mentioned before is wrapping me in its dusky wings and singing soothing songs that cascade onto my brain.
T8:30-Itís time for bed. I take alprazolam and etizolam to knock myself out. While I lie there waiting to sleep, I get dream projection scenarios like with DXM. Itís vivid visions that simply take place in the world around me, I just walk around and do normal things in these hallucinated worlds. I open my eyes and I am back in my bed, I havenít moved at all. Itís interesting. I eventually fall asleep.
Epilogue: The afterglow the next day was really nice I was confident and social, and didnít even feel out of it but rather improved in every way. Although I was a bit wacky and out of touch with reality. You take what you can get I guess.
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