Citation: alwaysgoingbackwards. "Not The Most Ideal First Time: An Experience with LSD & MDMA (exp107011)". Erowid.org. May 23, 2018. erowid.org/exp/107011
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I got MDMA a few weeks ago from a good friend of mine and had been wanting to try this chemical for quite some time. I was extremely excited to try it and was waiting for the right time. However I did not choose the right time. What followed was possibly the worst trip of my life.
Before I dosed I went over to my friend that I mentioned before to smoke, while I was there I did two dabs, ate a 100mg edible, took a bunch of bong rips and smoked a few joints with her. I was considering just dropping acid that night, but I was in a great mood and wanted to Candyflip. So when I got home I weighed out my dose of MDMA (138mg) and dropped a tab and two-thirds (150ug blotters) and waited patiently for a short while before I dosed my MDMA.
I was having the time of my life on the acid, the acid alone was a lovely trip, all the cannabis from earlier really helped with the come-up and made the trip have a little more of a push in the right direction it felt. From the start I felt like this would be a top five experience for sure.
Forty-five minutes after I dosed the L, I dropped my dose of MDMA and awaited the onset. At first I felt like I was floating and was very smiley and giddy. I was loving it, then I suddenly rocketed into space and it suddenly became too much, all I can think was 'oh shit I took too much, this isn't fun anymore' but there would be brief moments where it felt like the best thing in the world and right back to fear.
One song by sevenlions had me feel like I would rise to the top of a skyscraper and then drop hard with the bass and it was just too much for me to take in. I freaked. I hopped to the next song by him and it made me feel alone and afraid, all I wanted at that moment was someone physically there with me
all I wanted at that moment was someone physically there with me
, to hold me and tell me it'd be okay. I had never felt so alone at that point.
I changed the song and started to play some Grateful Dead, which at that point I calmed down for a bit and started to think. I think shooting into space sort of chilled out, however when I started thinking I started hurting. Within a few minutes I was texting my friend, thinking he was my mom and telling him how much I love her, telling him my decisions behind choices.
The next thing I know, I think I'm having a seizure and I throw up. I rush outside and run down the street in my boxers after a car screaming to help me, ran back inside and called 911 and said I was having a seizure. In reality I never did. The cops come and I think I'm somehow in a coma and the cops are really my mom and dad, I tell them what I took, ambulance comes and takes me to the hospital. The entire ambulance ride was 'how much longer until we're at the hospital' every two seconds.
I get to the hospital and keep asking when to see the doctors, then curse out the nurses and flip them off. The doctor asks if I've had seizures in the past, told him about the one on shrooms and he was puzzled by that (as was I and everyone else I know, especially because I had eaten them a few times before I had a seizure on them) and he gets me an IV put in.
What I found out the next day when I got home:
I pissed on a nurse, cursed the nurses out multiple times, and my nurse stayed in my room with me for hours making sure I was fine. Apparently the nurse that had been there the entire time was the only one that could calm me down. When I saw the sheet of medication that was given to me the next day I really don't know why they gave me what they gave me:
100mg Ketamine IV, 100mg DPH IV, 2mg Lorazepam IV, 2mg Midazolam IV.
I really just can't understand the Ket honestly.
But overall it was too much. I'm still trying to figure out what could have happened that caused me to think I had a seizure. I'd love to try MDMA another time, but honestly I may just pass out of fear.
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