Citation: gamgee. "Defeating My Demons: An Experience with 4-AcO-DMT & 4-HO-MiPT (exp104964)". Erowid.org. Dec 1, 2016. erowid.org/exp/104964
I took a mixture of 20mg 4-AcO-DMT, and 5mg 4-HO-MIPT, both measured on a mg precision scale, at around 12pm at my friend B's house.
I'd had several previous 4-AcO-DMT trips, ranging from 10 to 35mg, and 2 previous 4-HO-MIPT trips at 15 and 17mg. It is no exaggeration to say that I've had the best and worst experiences of my life under the influence of 4-AcO-DMT. I had nearly sworn it off after a series of very bad experiences from it, but now I'm quite glad that I gave it another chance.
My 4-HO-MIPT experiences have had a great deal of positive energy, often erupting in near uncontrollable laughter, but I've found it uninteresting as a tool of personal introspection. Figuring that the combination of 4-HO-MIPT's positivity and the presence of a close friend may be enough to keep my mindset positive on 4-AcO-DMT, I embarked on my journey.
I relax on B's bed, and we turn on some chant music, for maybe half an hour, as I come up. Visuals begin to come on, my body begins to tingle. Very typical of previous 4-AcO-DMT trips. This is familiar space. B's room is decorated in tapestries, and makes me think of some sort of 60's hippie commune. Some time passes. I begin to feel cold. Perhaps it's just the window next to me on this cold winter day. Visuals subside. Feelings of depression creep in. My head and body ache.
Hey, what time is it?
I know where this could be headed. I can't think very straight, but I'm not hysterical yet. My body temperature seems significantly variable. I sure hope it was safe to mix these.
I sure hope it was safe to mix these.
I know of no deaths from either, but then, they are research chems.
I'm unable to communicate much to B. He tries to lift my mood, but I'm in a great deal of psychological anguish, and can't hand much external stimuli. B gives me some supplements. I believe it was fish oil, B complex, and Vit D. Guess it can't hurt.
Why do I keep doing this shit to myself?
After maybe an hour or two, the depression begins to subside. Our friend M comes over around this time. I'm feeling a bit better, but still need things a bit quiet. M offers to smoke some cannabis with me. I'm certain this will help, and we share about three bowls. I've only smoked once in the past 2 weeks, so my tolerance is down. We all sit on B's bed and talk. We put on some light music. I'm feeling much better. I begin getting strong CEV's, which seem more typical of cannabis than tryptamines. The tapestries are beautiful, and OEV's are returning as I admire them. There is a strong feeling of belonging amongst my friends. I feel as if we're in some sort of fort. Just a few kids getting into mischief. Aren't we all?
I stare at B's floor, watching the patterns shifting. It's amazing how many different intricate scenes can be picked out of the same pattern. I suspect tryptamines significantly affect pattern and facial recognition centers in the brain.
We eventually go downstairs, and I am able to eat a microwave dinner of rice and vegetables. Then we head over to M's place. The ride over is fun. We arrive and sit around talking with another friend there, smoke some more weed, and eat some good food. Eventually B and I have to walk about a mile or 2 back to his place. This concerns me a bit, as my legs have been a bit cramped, as often happens to me on tryptamines, and it was rather cold out. But I managed to make the walk without difficulty, and was fully sober by this point anyway. I drove back home and was able to sleep without difficulty.
The next day I found myself feeling remarkably energetic, upbeat, and motivated. My coworkers thought I seemed more energetic than usual as well. I even cleaned and organized much of my apartment after work.
I believe this experience did a great deal of good for me. It allowed me to work through a great deal of difficult emotions, and instilled a greater appreciation of my friends, and of artistic beauty. Previously all of my bad trips on 4-AcO-DMT had remained extremely difficult until the drugs wore off, and I find it empowering to know that I was able to escape this difficult headspace to have such an enjoyable and rewarding experience.
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