Grinding Along the Edge of Reality
LSD & Cannabis
Citation:   Goddess Mode. "Grinding Along the Edge of Reality: An Experience with LSD & Cannabis (exp103255)". May 16, 2014.

  repeated smoked Cannabis (plant material)
  5 hits oral LSD (blotter / tab)
This experience happened about a month ago as of this writing. Around that time all of my trips were starting to follow a theme of being about letting go, and because of that I was starting to get much more of a psychotherapeutic effect out of them than I ever had before. A friend of mine had recommended to me that I read Claudio Naranjo's 'The Healing Journey', so I had ordered it online and it just recently arrived. I decided to sit down with it for the first time today and read the beginning of it, and smoke some weed at the same time. I was getting really into it because I was really high and the things he was talking about reminded me very much of the things I had been thinking lately, and this was getting me into a very open mindset. I was feeling sufficiently stoned enough that I opted to put the book down and meditate instead.

With eyes closed and lying on my back, I repeated this mantra to myself internally of letting go, and it didn't take long for a quick visionary state to suddenly burst through, like hypnagogic hallucinations but enhanced. This had happened to me once before recently, a few days before the last time I took five hits of LSD. Then I had scene city scenes with people rapidly walking around and transforming in them just passing me by in clouds. This time however the focus was largely on hands reaching up and faces behind them, which reminded me very much of my experience smoking salvia on LSD a week before. The whole thing felt very psychedelic, but it didn't last long before just fading back to a regular high. It did leave me very energized though and in a mindset to trip, so I decided to dose on five hits again later that night.

I knew that this was going to be my last trip before going to visit a girl who has changed my life, and that definitely had me in a very positive mood. After I dosed I ended up texting her too which I think boosted my experience as well, until I could feel it start kicking in and then I got in the shower. I don't remember a whole lot about the shower itself other than that the visuals were kicking in very intensely, and I was starting to mumble things to myself very frantically. I finally decided to get out, dry off, and head to bed, where I had my laptop waiting and I had prepared myself some weed to smoke. Once I turned out the lights and got in bed, the first thing I remember is that I just a visionary kind of state. Similarly to my psychedelic weed experience before this last one, the imagery consisted of people running around and doing various movements and creating transforming scenery together. I felt very in but also out of my body at the same time.

I put on some music videos by various female artists who I in some ways felt like both I and the girl I was going to visit might be able to relate to, and that was the general theme for a lot of the night. I continued to smoke weed for a lot of it as well, and as I did so my ego became steadily more dissolved. I could have remembered facts about my life if I really wanted to, but I wasn't too concerned with it at the time. I was actually rather enthralled with the experience of watching the music videos; I was getting the same kind of effect that I had gotten the last time I had taken five hits of LSD, where whenever some kind of concept would enter my mind it would be projected into my mind's eye visually and then a web pattern would grow out of it that connected the original concept to various others that were in some way related to it. This time however this effect was even stronger, and as a result when I would watch the artists in their videos my mind would unload extremely vivid perceptions of how I view their personalities and every concept that my mind directly relates to each aspect of that on to me, and it would make it so that at the time it was actually easier to remember who the arist was and have a grasp of their life to remember who I was. This was allowing me to feel empathy on a level I had never experienced before, and I was filled with an overwhelming love and a desire to make all of those artists' hopes and dreams come true. Upon later reintegration of my own personality and rememberance of my life, this love was then extended to the girl I'm visiting as well. I knew that talking to her before tripping had definitely left an impact on me at this point.

In the meantime, I was consciously perceiving visual distortions on a level unlike anything I've quite ever experienced before. The way I've been describing it was that I felt like I was detecting changes on the neurological correlate of subatomic levels, the point at which you actually view your visual field down to the fabric of reality. What I was seeing was that the visual changes were so detailed and so minute that my reality was coming apart at the seams, and through these cracks that were opening up I could actually see into other dimensions that were holding ours together. Upon close inspection to one of these I found myself to be centered alongside a colossal ring structure of predominantly greens with some blues, purples, and other colors to a lesser extent which extended far into the distance; I was simply located on just one small part of this ring, and it was at that moment that I realized that I was actually grinding along the edge of reality. This ring was actually just the or one of the barriers of existence itself. There were also intense and colorful visions that were playing out along this barrier, but they tend to escape me now. The mindset of what was going on was much more intense for me.

Aside from that, there wasn't too much to say about the rest of the trip. I simply rode these aspects of it out and enjoyed them until they had mostly faded away, and I was left with a good amount of energy for much of the next day. The thing I would say that I got the most from this trip was that I feel like what I was actually experiencing with the empathy is the way I had already built myself up to feeling out of overcoming depression and anxiety, but the LSD was allowing me to experience it for the first time with any associations with my life or past baggage getting in the way. It was definitely a nice refresh in that sense.... Another thing that this trip did is show me a better taste of just how deep visual effects can get, and I'm sure they only go deeper and deeper than that. But this trip definitely even further enhanced my interest in visionary states.

I would have to say that this experience was a pretty good send off before my vacation. I definitely enjoyed it.

Exp Year: 2014ExpID: 103255
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: May 16, 2014Views: 4,559
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LSD (2), Cannabis (1) : General (1), Combinations (3), Alone (16)

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