Mushrooms - P. tampanensis (sclerotia)
Citation: Jamesays. "Extremely Useful in 'Re-Setting' My Mind: An Experience with Mushrooms - P. tampanensis (sclerotia) (exp103107)". Erowid.org. Mar 26, 2020. erowid.org/exp/103107
First Experience With Truffles
Speaking as someone who suffers with depression, I have found that the occasional use of psychedelic substances has been incredibly useful not only for gaining insight into my issues, but also as a tool for gaining clarity of thought, for several months after each experience.
I have used LSD and mushrooms several times over the last few years, and I will continue to do so for as long as I need them. I do not use psychedelic substances purely for recreation. Although the experience is enjoyable, the primary purpose for me is that of a self-medicating nature. With this in mind, I hereby submit my report in the hope that others in a similar situation may find it useful.
I have never used truffles before. I have always stuck to LSD obtained from a reliable source, and mushrooms, which I grow myself. I decided to try truffles on the recommendation of a friend who swore blind that they were superior to mushrooms. I found it hard to agree with this as the active ingredients are essentially the same. However, the opportunity to acquire some truffles recently presented itself, so I decided to give them a try.
I never use psychedelic substances to simply get high. To me, this is a waste. My depression is such that every so often my mood reaches a point where the usual coping techniques simply do not work. Things such as active distraction, antidepressants, exercise, change in diet, cultivating a new hobby etc. I have learned over the the years that LSD and mushrooms have an uncanny ability to reset one's mindset. I like to think of it as the Etch-a-Sketch solution. The mind becomes jumbled and confused, LSD-25 and psilocybin seem to shake it all away.
I like to think of it as the Etch-a-Sketch solution. The mind becomes jumbled and confused, LSD-25 and psilocybin seem to shake it all away.
My mindset upon beginning the truffle experience was, to put it bluntly; dire. I felt lethargic, irritable, unmotivated and thoroughly unhappy. I wasn't sleeping well and I had put on a little weight due to comfort eating. It was time to begin the cleansing process.
I finished work on Friday afternoon at around 5pm. I drove home and immediately began to tidy my living room. Previous experience has taught me that having a psychedelic experience when all around me is untidy, does not make for a good time. I dusted, put away all loose clothes and took out some lamps and a lava lamp. I draped patterned throws over my sofa and table and put on some music. In-short, I did everything possible to make my environment as comfortable as possible. I turned off my phone and locked my front door. I was now inside my cocoon and felt totally safe.
(I will be writing this report using real times, instead of the +00:15, +00:20 etc style that people seem to favour).
The truffles had arrived a few days earlier and I had been keeping them in my fridge. They were vacuum sealed in small bags. x2 15g bags. I decided to make tea with them.
I boiled the kettle and filled a normal sized coffee cup with the water. I then emptied the contents of one of the truffle bags onto a plate. I used a craft knife and carefully cut the truffles into very small pieces (approximately the same size as instant coffee granules). By the time I had done this, the water was no longer at boiling temperature so I put the truffles into the mug. I took the mug into the living room and listened to some music for about 30 minutes.
The water was now still warm, but cool enough to drink. I gave the contents a little stir then drank it all down, including the bits. A little swirling was needed towards the end to get all the bits from the side of the mug. The taste was fairly unremarkable - everso slightly nutty. Not at all unpleasant.
I then laid back, and decided to play some Tetris on my gameboy in order to try and 'forget' that I had just taken the truffles. I find that waiting for something to happen can be a real source of anxiety.
For about three quarters of an hour, nothing seemed to happen. I began to question whether I had made the drink correctly. I assumed that preparing truffles in the same way I would prepare mushrooms, would be sufficient. I began to get annoyed at myself for not researching truffle prep methods.
At this point I felt the first effects.
I stood up and was immediately aware of the weight of my body. It felt very heavy. My legs were a little wobbly and the carpet felt very spongey. These sensations were not a surprise at all. It felt almost exactly like a mushroom high.
The next emotion I experienced was relief. Relief at the thought that I had in-fact prepared the truffles correctly. I decided to take this opportunity to have a 'last' cigarette. I had no idea how strong the effect would be, or how much of my bodily functions I would retain, so instead of running the risk of dropping a cigarette I thought it'd wise to have one now.
I did not get that far however.
I held a cigarette to my lips and struck my lighter. The flame began to flicker as though it was in a breeze, and it had a sort of halo aura around it. I looked up and saw that my lamps also had similar effects around them. I found this most interesting and completely forgot about having a cigarette. Indeed, I remember putting down my lighter but not the un-lit cigarette.
The next time I noticed the time it was twenty past eight. The light effects were still present, but now I could also see that the walls were expanding and contracting slightly. This did not interest me at all. I had seen this effect many times before while under the influence of LSD, and I paid no attention to it. What I did pay a lot of attention to however was the spectrum light effect that seemed to emanate from the corner of my peripheral vision. I found this to be most entertaining and it was not something that I had previously experienced with mushrooms or LSD. It was as though there was a rainbow in each corner of the room, but when I turned to look at them, they disappeared. I tried to look as far to my left as I could without turning my head. This conjured up in my mind the image of an owl turning his head around - for some reason this was instantly hysterical to me, and I succumbed to a raging fit of the giggles. How long this went on for I am not sure, but when I stopped laughing my throat was sore and I had tears down my face. I would describe this part of the experience as having a distinctly disassociating quality. It was not unpleasant, but I did feel a little annoyed afterwards because I felt as though I had spent too long a period of time, laughing at what I thought was a 'beginner' hallucination.
I felt as though I had spent too long a period of time, laughing at what I thought was a 'beginner' hallucination.
From this point on I do not recall what time events took place. I only remember the order in which they happened.
My throat felt very sore and dry. I can only assume this was from all the laughing so I decided to get up and find something to drink. Up until this point I had remained on my sofa. As I stood up I noticed that my body felt very heavy. My legs were like jelly and the floor felt very soft and squishy. If anyone were to have seen me at this point, I highly doubt that I would have been able to hide the fact that I was under the influence of something.
I stumbled to the kitchen and took a bottle of coke from the fridge. The light inside the fridge was blinding. Spectacular rainbow effects radiated from the bulb, in a sort of spherical gradient effect. Upon opening the bottle, the normal fizz sound was magnified ten-fold. It was like no other sound I had ever heard. A metallic sound, whooshing, almost like a dog bark but played backwards through some kind of effects filter. I enjoyed this sound very much. So much so that I stood by the open fridge for a while, closing and re-opening the bottle over and over. In-fact, I do not remember even having anything to drink.
The next thing I remember is being back on the sofa. I do not remember walking back to it. I mentioned this earlier, but the truffles had a very definite disassociative effect. By this point I was feeling very tired and I decided that it was probably time for bed.
I always have a cigarette before bed and even though I was very much intoxicated I made a conscious decision to have one. I sat on the floor in-front of my coffee table. I rested my chin on the table and placed an as tray near my face. I had a very definite concern in my mind of possibly accidentally burning myself or worse yet, burning my living room down to the ground.
I put the cigarette to what I presumed were my lips, and reached for my lighter. Again, the rainbow effect was present around the bright light that the flame created. I successfully lit the cigarette and managed to smoke the whole thing without incident. The sounds that the burning tobacco made were exquisite. A very loud crackling/breaking sound. It sounded exactly like leaves and sticks being broken underfoot. I had a very vivid image of someone walking through the woods. I closed my eyes to try and enjoy it more - at this point I realised that I had thus far neglected to pay any attention to any closed-eye visuals that may be occurring. Excited at this prospect, I made a beeline for my bed.
The clock in my bedroom said twenty past midnight. Time had apparently got away from me, although it felt as though I had really not done much at all. I put my headphones on, and listed to some music. Specifically a group called Tangarine Dream. As I closed my eyes I began to see the familiar greyscale swirling patterns. This was not new to me and I found it rather boring. Although, something I did enjoy was the way my body felt. I did not feel paralyzed, but rather I had absolutely no motivation to move whatsoever. I felt trapped, but not in a frightening way. I was lying on my side, but I felt as though I was laying completely flat. Soon after this I realised that I had been slowly and quietly muttering to myself. This came as a shock and was a little unsettling. I could not work out if I was either hearing voices or talking to myself. I could not make out what was being said. I put my hands to my lips to feel if my lips were moving - they were.
This was by far, the most rewarding part of the whole experience.
I felt as though I had crossed over into some sort of alternative way of thinking, ie. allowing my subconscious self to think freely without the handicap of my inner monologue. I felt utterly divided. I felt like two different people, in one body. I had apparently removed my headphones, but I do not remember doing this.
Sadly, the next memory I have is that of waking up. My alarm was set for ten in the morning and it woke me like it always does. I had an incredibly dry mouth and the first thing I did was have an enormous glass of water. My body worked normally again and the only after effect I had was a sore neck. I have no idea how this occurred.
After-thoughts & Conclusion:
The first thing I will say is that the truffle experience helped me achieve that which I have achieved from LSD and Mushrooms, ie. my depressive symptoms had gone. No more confusion, irritability, anxiety or feelings of sadness. I felt refreshed and alert. I still do today. I took truffles approximately 5 weeks ago.
I felt refreshed and alert. I still do today. I took truffles approximately 5 weeks ago.
For me, psychedelic experiences are an essential and invaluable tool for maintaining a clear mind-set. The difference between mushrooms and truffles in my opinion, was minimal. Some differences occurred as outlined above, but I can only put this down to difference in strength/strain etc. The mushrooms I grow are psliocybe Mexicana. The truffles were (so I'm told) the Atlantis strain. I'm no expert on strains/types however so I have no real input on this.
I will most definitely be using truffles again. The experience was very similar to mushrooms, but had some extra qualities that I would very much like to experience again.
A word on Depression:
I have a diagnosis of clinical depression and this has been the case for well over ten years. I have attended psychotherapy and taken various SSRI medications over the years. I have not had any prescribed medication for the last two years or so.
Medication for me, at best, was a way of treating my symptoms and not the condition.
I have reached a point in my life now where I can say with sincerity that I have a handle on my condition and have no further need for medication. I find psychedelic substances to be extremely useful in 're-setting' my mind when my mood reaches a point of no return on the depressive scale, as it were.
I do not for one moment encourage anyone reading this to self medicate with psychedelics, instead of taking antidepressants prescribed by a doctor. I mention it in my report only for the sake of accuracy and authenticity.
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