DOSE:		smoked	DMT
		smoked	Mugwort
		smoked	Chamomile

It was a day before my 19th birthday. I was home with my S.O, who was actually the one to give me the DMT. It was a small vial of powder that he had bought years before and smoked out of his first time. This was what was left. It took me a good year of holding onto to smoke myself.

It just felt like the day to do it. I awoke, and we chatted and had a small falling out. I was in a depressed headspace as I was having somewhat of an existential crisis/doubting my experiences. I told him it was the day for me to smoke DMT.

I used my water pipe, and put a layer of mugwort, the DMT, and a layer of chamomile on top. It really tasted good. I had no problem with smoke, taste, harshness. I didn't cough. It took me twenty minutes to light my first hit. It felt like I was about to jump off a cliff. Then I just shrugged and took my hit. Held it, exhaled, took my second hit. I was aiming for three but there was just no way.

We were on our bed, suddenly I got this familiar sensation and sense of realization. My room looked like my room but with a rainbow mandala pattern flowing over everything. My S.O took the pipe from me. I looked at him, he was literally beaming at me, smiling. His face was glowing with yellow light. I felt a very strong force pulling me back. I had to lay down. Resisting was painful, trying to be 'me' was painful, everything was suddenly overwhelming, thinking was overwhelming. Anything other then total acceptance of the now was painful. I laid back and just melted into being. It felt good. So this was it?

It felt as if I had entered a very deep meditative state beyond physical dimension. I snapped my eyes open and felt a desire to return to my physical familiarity. I went into the kitchen and stood in front of the window. Natural light was magnetic. I drank a glass of water, spilling most of it all over myself. The room looked the same but on a different plane of existence. It was beautiful, colorful and multi dimensional. It had flowing patterns over geometry and mandalas over all the furniture. The air and energy also had a glow to it. It almost felt like DMT had shifted me and I could reside in this dimension forever.

I looked at my partner and cat, and saw how everything was one life force and I was in the center of it at that moment, observing everything, seeing it for what it was. This experience was a gift but I had been here before. I looked out the window and felt external forces, 'Gods' with me: 'it's okay to just live and accept living. You don't have to ask so many questions, you don't have to constantly test your faith. You already know.' I felt very blessed and gifted by the Universe for this gift of life. And as a woman, feeling my womb and the connection to the womb of the Universe, I rejoiced for my gift of life. 'We get to live and that's okay! I remember!' I said to my partner. I also remember saying 'that was the medicine I needed.' It felt like the ULTIMATE reminder, one I could take back more from, unlike my trips on other psychedelics.

Also all of that happened in probably less then five minutes. I probably won't smoke it again.

Exp Year: 2014	ExpID: 102754
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Jul 31, 2019	Views: 939
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