Life and Death. One Awareness.
Cacti - T. pachanoi
Citation: Sashas Keeper. "Life and Death. One Awareness.: An Experience with Cacti - T. pachanoi (exp101191)". Erowid.org. May 6, 2020. erowid.org/exp/101191
Intention: To approach San Pedro as a ceremonial celebration for direction, insight, and receptivity (surrender).
1 T. pachanoi top cut, L: 18.8cm, W: 5.6cm; 431g
1 T. pachanoi center cut, L: 14.5cm, W: 4.9cm; 187g
1 T. pachanoi center cut, L: 21.2cm, W: 3.4cm; 140g
Total length: 54.5cm (21.5 in)
Total weight: 758g (1.67 lbs)
History: I have tried multiple ways of preparing San Pedro. This is just another step towards perfection.
The cacti were washed with a moist towel, de-spined, de-cored, cut into small slices, dried, and then crushed. Dry weight 35g (758g down to 35g… Geez!), enough to fill 1/3 of an 8oz canning jar once fully crushed.
Dry weight 35g (758g down to 35g… Geez!), enough to fill 1/3 of an 8oz canning jar once fully crushed.
The 35g of dried, crushed cactus was boiled in 500mL water with enough lemon juice to push the pH into the range of 3-5. All else equal, with a supposed pKa of 9.56 this means that the ratio of mescaline in salt form to base form is roughly 363,000 : 1 (from the Henderson-Hasselbach equation). In practical terms, this means that well over 99% of the mescaline present should be soluble in the liquid as a salt (only ~0.00028% insoluble, isn’t science fun?). To be fair, a pH of 7 would have done just fine (it gives a ratio of 363 : 1, still roughly 99% soluble, with only ~0.28% insoluble), but I wanted to achieve maximum solubility for peace of mind.
The trick, however, was to boil for long enough to rupture the plant cell walls so that the vast majority of mescaline could be accessed in the first place. I only had the opportunity to boil for a little over an hour, but hoped that my combination of drying, crushing, and boiling provided enough stress to rupture the majority of the cells.
The brew had to be monitored carefully during its ~1 hour cooking time. Initially, the brew boiled upwards as with normal San Pedro brews, mixing back in with the water fairly quickly. Once it looked like boiling swamp muck I had a hunch the brew was complete (after only about 40 minutes of boiling), but allowed for it to continue boiling for another 20 minutes or so.
I had fasted more so than usual for this experience, and felt markedly weak. I will attempt to utilize this feeling to encourage surrender. The brew was very acidic, making it somewhat difficult to get down, but I managed. There was some discomfort felt from the digestion of the brew. My body was free of any prescription drugs or herbal remedies.
So! I have uncovered the surest way to pack a punch with San Pedro. Wow. That was under 500mL of brew, and was by far the most potent, profound, spiritual, insightful, and mystical thing that I have ever experienced.
I simply cut it up, dried it, crushed it as small as possible in any way possible (I used scissors believe it or not, snippin’ away for at least an hour), and then boiled it for about an hour in water with a couple tablespoons of lemon juice until it looked like bubbling swamp water. Filtered then consumed, and POW! I was off… I just slipped right into it.
Consumption between 9:45pm and 10pm, real liftoff at 11:30pm, and finally returning to whatever I know to be myself at 2:08am. Peak was reached between 12 and 1am. The come-down was slow and fantastic but also reassuring and validating. Having some type of plan to keep things moving when a change in mood was necessary was essential (I was alone, in my room). I began to feel recognizably human again at around 4am.
So what exactly was seen/experienced? Life and Death. One Awareness.
The intention, “for direction, insight, and receptivity aka surrender,” that’s just about my motto from now on. HWOOO!!! I do NOT underestimate this cactus. He showed me what’s up with AMAZING clarity.
Did I also mention the immense healing that this experience allowed for? I feel as though a thousand bricks have been removed from above my head. I feel a free man, and I haven’t felt this way since before I became an addict. Mega emphasis on the “surrender” part of that intention…
This sure helped me out. I need to pray a while, eat some, take a nap, and find a way to upload this to the interwebs. Everlasting peace to you all!
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