<annique> yt?
<indigo> you betcha. what’s up?
<annique> comin down, just wanted someone to talk to.
<indigo> i seeee. comin down from what?
<annique> big long AMT trip.
<indigo> aha. as opposed to those very brief AMT trips. triplets even.
<annique> right.
<indigo> how far in are you?
<annique> i am at hour sixteen, maxin and relaxin at this point. sipping
on some dessert wine.
<indigo> what was the occasion?
<annique> had the house to myself for the weekend. :)
<annique> and i have to say, i think i just had the single most powerful
AMT experience i have ever had in my life.
<indigo> oh reeeally.
<annique> that’s what i’m sayin.
<indigo> how much did you do?
<annique> i’m kind of a hard head on this stuff unfortunately. it’s
gotten to where my normal dose is 110 mg insufflated, but i wanted to do
something special tonight
<annique> so i insufflated 120 mg.
<indigo> jesus h christ on a pogo stick
<indigo> isn’t that an obscenely large dose? especially up the nose?
<annique> i mentioned i was a hard head, right?
<indigo> right but come on
<indigo> two seconds of googling and you learn a typical oral dose is in
the 10-60 mg range, and you’re snorting *twice* that amount?
<annique> look some people do large doses because they’re trying to show
off or something
<annique> but that is not what i’m about
<annique> it just takes more to get a threshold effect
<annique> it’s a physiological thing more than anything
<indigo> i don’t totally believe that. i mean what convinced you to
suddenly snort an extra 10 mg this time?
<indigo> you did 10 extra mg just for kicks?
<annique> well, no… the last time i did 110 was less than stellar for
some reason so i thought, dammit if i am going to invest 16 hours in
something i bloody well want it to work :)
<indigo> a very sane proposition. or something.
<annique> how can i explain this…
<annique> when i was learning how to do drugs, my friends would get
desired effects at doses that just wouldn’t work for me
<annique> so i had to figure out on my own how to get similar effects by
taking larger doses
<annique> but that’s a process of trial by error, and sometimes i would
wind up taking too much
<annique> but… i did that so many times, that over time, i actually
wound up *preferring* the more powerful “knock you on your ass”
experiences to just hitting the threshold that everyone else seemed to be
<annique> of course now i’ve finally gotten enough of the hang of it that
i can enjoy the whole range, the big phat doses and the ‘museum’ doses and
everything in between… i can be a lot more satisfied with whatever
<annique> only took me fifteen years :)
<indigo> what a touching story. you should make a home video.
* annique smacks indigo upside the head
<indigo> hey now. i see your psychedelic voyages haven’t cured your
antisocial behavior
<annique> it’s true. i’m kicking my cat very hard in the face right this
<annique> anyway, this was one of those nights where i really just wanted
to mix it up and get something extra, so… i snorted a little extra, what
can i say
<indigo> hey why do you snort it anyway? doesn’t that make you claw your
face off?
<annique> it does, but i’m one of the unfortunate few who gets violently
nauseated when i take it orally, and it completely failed to work the one
time i took it rectally
<indigo> mmm hmm
<indigo> so you still have a hit of it stashed up there for later
<annique> :)
<annique> anyway yeah, it’s not like snorting 2C-B where it hurts for five
minutes but then WHAM yer trippin
<annique> this still takes up to an hour to come on and meanwhile just
enough drip makes it down the back of your throat to make the tummy a tad
<annique> anyway, i got through that part though and was feeling hella
better about things
<annique> roaming around the house, listening to tunes, petting the kitties
<indigo> so, freaking out.
<annique> yeah totally. :)
<annique> seriously though, normally AMT for me is kind of like a really
long, not quite as intense candyflip… it’s got some of the heart energy
of MDMA and some of the head energy of LSD and you get to really just sit
back and luxuriate and ponder and relax
<annique> and heal sometimes
<annique> but this turned out to be something else altogether, at least
for a couple of hours
<indigo> let’s hear it
<annique> well it just became readily apparent that i was tripping harder
than i ever had on the stuff
<annique> reality started to become very mutable
<annique> my whole visual field would ripple out of control, like i
wouldn’t be able to recognize what was right in front of me and i’d have
to wait it out until reality resolved itself
<annique> i felt totally calm and happy about it mind you, i was
intellectually present
<annique> but it started to feel a LOT like some high dose mushroom
experiences i have had, where you realize, you’re kind of just a hop skip
and a jump from the full blown 5-MeO-DMT experience
<annique> reality was humming, and sparkling, and i felt like i could grab
it, and play with it
<indigo> yowsa
<annique> it was such an outstanding feeling
<annique> i mean, it also had a touch of inflation about it, but as it
went on and i hit a plateau, it was seriously vibrational, a lot higher
energy than AMT normally is
<annique> i was moving around a lot instead of just laying on the floor
like usual
<annique> but it definitely got me thinking about a scale for appreciating
these experiences
<indigo> i believe they already have a scale like that. it’s how they
determine which ward of the loony bin they’re going to stick you in
<annique> uh huh
<indigo> so does this change AMT’s ranking on your big chart of Best Drugs
<annique> hmm
<annique> i don’t think so
<annique> i think my favorites are still MDMA in third place, AMT in
second place, and 5-MeO-DMT in first place
<indigo> i am never doing that 5meo stuff
<annique> it’s not for everybody
<indigo> yes, it’s not for people who don’t like the idea of flailing out
of control or sinking into a deep unconscious stupor or projectile
vomiting on the ceiling
<annique> like i said, not for everybody
<annique> but it’s definitely for me
<annique> i was reading a report on line that talked about how 5-MeO-DMT
has the most “bliss potential” of the major psychedelics
<annique> that makes a lot of sense to me. when i am on 5-MeO-DMT, i
completely lose my sense of self. i just kind of completely merge with
the fundamental energy of the universe. my conscious mind is sublimated
and i just become pure experience
<annique> the experience of reality, as opposed to the fact of it
<annique> or something. :)
<indigo> and that feels blissful to you? because it sounds like sticking
your finger in a light bulb socket
<annique> well bliss is the closest word i have for it
<annique> vibration without constraint
<annique> immersion in unrestrained wonder
<annique> but if i put 5-MeO on one end of a spectrum, on the other end i
could put MDMA
<annique> which operates for me almost completely at the emotional level
<annique> the “bliss potential” there involves the release of emotional
blocks, or the rich confirmation of emotional knowledge
<annique> and to me, that kind of puts AMT in the middle
<annique> it’s a bridge between the ontologically overwhelming world of
5-MeO, and the thoroughly human world of MDMA
<annique> AMT integrates hints of each side, and adds a friendly kind of
<annique> so the “bliss potential” of AMT is how it unfolds over such a
long period of time that you have a chance to integrate insights while
you’re still having the experience, which just kind of “feels good”
<indigo> so what are you going to do now? you’re still kind of high, right?
<annique> yeah
<annique> i’m going to relax
<annique> start drinking some gin & tonics
<annique> one of my favorite parts about coming down from AMT is starting
to get drunk while i still have some of the stimulant effects in my system
<annique> because i’m in such a good mood from the AMT, the alcohol buzz
winds up being sloshy good humored fun
<annique> and then, 18 or so hours after i started, i will collapse into bed
<indigo> dang, that’s still two hours from now. and me without any
cocaine in the house
<annique> i still have some AMT you could come over and snort :)
<indigo> thanks but i have this thing called “a life” that i need to deal
with tomorrow
<annique> what about some 5meo? that only lasts a half hour
<indigo> back, devil woman.
<indigo> you will only succeed in tempting me if you’re dangling the
promise of powerful opiate painkillers
<annique> i’ll bust out my sekrit supply of fentanyl lollipops
<indigo> very naughty. haven’t you heard there are people with back pain
in ethiopia?
<annique> call a cab, mister
<indigo> i shall be there shortly
* indigo has quit IRC
* annique has quit IRC


One Response to “BLISS POTENTIAL”

  1. amazingdrx says:

    Well. There it is. The fact that annique was even able to type after such an intense experience is something. Though perhaps after a few G&Ts, it would have been sloppier – and funnier.

    So – can I get a lollipop?

  2. silverdollar says:

    Great read, educational and brought me a few laughs for the night :) It was interesting to hear that the AMT experience was getting to the point of a high dose mushroom trip.

    So here is my question, why not take a high dose mushroom trip instead? Why aren’t mushrooms in your top 3, or are they #4??


  3. sethg says:

    hey, it took you a while to get back to writing the column.. i thought you’d given up. pretty good to see you’re back :)

  4. dpt says:

    I didn’t even read this one yet, because I wanted to welcome this column back first in a comment. After more than a year, I thought you had quit writing.

  5. midevil says:

    Why not just skip the whole experience and go to opiates anyway? That’s what I’d do, really.

  6. john says:

    Like silverdollar asked, why do you rank AMT above mushrooms? Do you prefer the longer duration, or do you feel the subjective effects are truly, consistently different, even at precisely “equivalent” dosages?

    That’s question I’ve struggled with when it comes to the (small) handful of psychedelics I’ve used. The effects are wildly variable even with the same dose of the same substance, so it’s very hard to say for sure whether there are really any differences in pyschological and emotional effects between substances. Obviously, there are differences in duration, but the only other consistent difference I’ve been able to convince myself of is the degreee to which the substance is also a stimulant.

    Also, are those fentanyl lollipops for real, or were you kidding?

  7. Scott-

    Glad you’re back at it!

    AMT ranks above mushrooms for me too, although even doing 120mg orally is a bit over the top for me (I blame the TV and lack of a qualified sitter for that one though). On the plus side I have a stomach to steel and have never had problems with anything except too much alcohol (oh right and chasing the dragon, BLEEK, glad I’m over that)…

    John: AMT, 5MeO-DMT and mushrooms are each a totally different ballgame (in my mind), I hope you’re not trying to figure this out after having experienced all three. It’s kinda like confusing football and soccer… which I guess may happen if you were on any of them.

    And yes, the lollipops are real and can be gotten for acute pain by RX after surgery (generally by children, IIRC).


  8. ST1R says:


    What happened?
    I used to look forward to reading your column.
    After a year you re-surface with a copy of an IRC?
    Not up to my standards Scotto, I hope its not up to yours.
    What was the point of your column this time? Just to let us know you still exist and are using drugs? Congratulations! Your just like everyone else.

  9. Scotto says:

    It’s not “a copy of an IRC” – it’s an original piece of fiction. Thanks for reading, though!

  10. Jeremiadist says:

    It’s consistently fascinating to me how different people are in which induced experiences appeal to or repel them. To “just become pure experience” sounds like a jolly thing to me, but obviously not to “indigo”… And though opiates are of course lovely in their way, I can’t fathom people who see them as the most or only interesting drugs. And so on. Of course, in the end, “what’s available” is a consistent favorite in most contexts. Mostly, though, I’m glad to see new stuff from you. Hopefully, we’ll see more, though it’s your business of course. Your writing remains quite lovely.