Where I live, rolling is the slang term for tripping on ecstasy. I'm not sure what the origin of the word is, although I tend to think it has to do with the nature of the MDMA trip, which sort of comes and goes in waves, "rolling" through one's being. In any case, this report covers my second experience "rolling" at a rave.

I took my pill fifteen minutes or so before I entered the party. I was in a somewhat dour mood, since we had been forced to wait almost three hours before getting in due to a lack of preparation and inadequate facilities on the promoter's part. I was determined not to let my evening be ruined, but I did resolve not to go to anymore parties thrown by that company.

After I got inside I walked around, looking for people I recognized from other parties. I ran into several familiar faces from the town I live in and other parties. I stopped and said hello to everyone I recognized. I was hoping to find someone I'd seen standing in the line ahead of me, and before long I spotted her walking by. We shared a hug and went outside to talk.

As we stood around talking about what we had been up to since we met I started to feel the MDMA coming on. My first alert was a sort of "warmth" and sense of well being. The tension I felt from the ordeal of waiting to be allowed inside melted away. I was enjoying my conversation with the girl I was talking to and the energy of the party, which I was beginning to be aware of. After a while she gave me her number and then left to find her friends. (This girl subsequently became my girlfriend.)

By now I was rolling along nicely. I walked around the venue looking for a place to dance. Unfortunately, it was very crowded and I couldn't find a spot to dance in. I walked back outside and caught up with another acquaintance before heading back inside.

Inside I watched a friend dancing for a while. This guy, M. is an incredible dancer, one of the best I have ever seen. He was trading moves with another guy who was also pretty damn good. I introduced myself to the guy I hadn't met and told them both I was enjoying their dancing. They thanked me and then asked me to "show my stuff". I was a little intimidated, but finally took a pair of glow sticks from one of them and began moving to the music. I had a degree of fluidity that is unusual for me and they both complemented me on my performance, which made me feel good.

I walked around some more, feeling the ecstasy strongly. I felt wonderful, physically, mentally and emotionally. I felt tuned in to the spirit of the party and felt a strong sense of camaraderie with my fellow ravers. I was completely at ease and very comfortable.

I headed out and found a small spot to dance in. The first time I had tried ecstasy at a rave I hadn't found it to be very good for dancing. This time was very different. The E gave me a fluidity of movement that I don't normally have. It also seemed to allow me to concentrate on what I was doing and gave me the confidence I needed to try new things and improvise. I had been practicing and working on my dancing for three months and this night it just clicked. I don't think the E was the most important factor, but I do think it helped and allowed me to move to the next level.

After a while I decided to head to the front and try "speaker hugging". Several friends had told me that the experience of standing next to the huge speakers while on ecstasy was amazing, not to be missed. When I got there the available space was pretty much packed with bodies. I stood a few feet away until one of them moved and opened up a spot. I leaned into the speaker and felt the music throbbing out of it. It was like a living, breathing, organic presence.

I remained on the speaker for some time, alternating between facing it and dancing with my back against it. It felt very cool. I was flowing easily to the music, totally into what I was doing. I watched both myself and others dancing, enjoying the positive energy I was feeling. I watched one girl in particular for a few minutes, nodding and smiling as she danced in front of me and then breaking into dance myself. After a few minutes she smiled at me, leaned over and kissed me on the cheek while saying something to me. Unfortunately I didn't quite catch what she said, but I got the general idea from the kiss.

After a while I moved off the speaker and into the crowd. By now it was thinning out to some degree, leaving more room to dance. I ran into one of the guys I'd ridden up with, who we'll call V. It was his first rave and his first ecstasy experience. He was very into it. He mentioned how great the vibe was, how friendly everyone was and how into the music he was. He said it was the best night of his life. It made me very happy to share his energy and enthusiasm for the experience.

A girl I'd been talking to in line saw me and struck up a conversation. She was coming off a candyflip (acid plus ecstasy), her first. She hadn't thought much of it. We discussed various aspects of flipping, including order of ingestion, timing, etc. I told her my experience of flipping had been highly positive and suggested that the circumstances in which she had taken it might have influenced the trip. We danced and talked about various aspects of the rave experience as well as more general information about our respective selves. I really enjoyed talking and sharing space with her, and was pleased when she asked to exchange contact information with me.

From time to time throughout the evening I was talking to my roommate and others we had come with or met in line outside. I talked to one guy for nearly twenty minutes. I am amazed at the way that ecstasy facilitates communication and openness between people. I tend to be introverted and fairly quiet, but on MDMA I just open up and feel driven to connect and share with others. It is very nice and I hope that I can learn from that and carry that ability into my everyday life.

I had seen people wearing dust masks with Vicks vapor rub inside before at parties. I found this really strange, but was assured by several people that it intensified the trip. This intrigued me and I decided to try it. At Burning Man I had tried it while on 2CB and found that it did have an interesting effect. It seemed to allow me to breathe more fully and deeply and give me a little "push". I expected something similar with MDMA and was not disappointed. A few deep inhalations brought on a nice buzzing rush that made me sort of tingle all over.

I danced on and off all night. I was still dancing as the sun came up. My body was worn out and protesting. I was sure several times that I could not possibly dance anymore until the DJ would throw down some irresistible beat. I talked to the guy that had driven us up and we decided to leave after the current DJ finished her set. As she wrapped up we rounded up the rest of the crew and walked out into the bright early morning sun.

I was still in a happy, talkative mood on the way home. I was especially interested in V's experience and asked him what he thought, whether he'd go again, etc. He had had an incredible night and seemed eager to go again soon. After we dropped a few people off I stretched out and slept the rest of the way home. After I got home I was up for several hours, then slept the rest of the day more or less. I awoke for work feeling fine and in great spirits.

This experience was in fairly marked contrast to my last ecstasy at a rave. On that occasion I had found that the E hadn't significantly enhanced the rave. I had spent most of the night talking to the people I had come with and barely danced at all. This time I felt very connected to the party and danced most of the night. In addition I had hooked up with a few very cool people that I look forward to seeing again. I think it was largely just a change in my perspective from the first time. I have definitely revised my opinion of MDMA as a rave drug for the better.