After a two month absence from the rave scene I was eager to return. Everyone who was attending met up at my house beforehand. While we were waiting we decided to try some 5-MeO-DMT. I thought it might serve as an interesting predose for the evening's festivities. Several of the people present tried it (one abstained, saying it looked a little too heavy for her) and then it was my turn.
A Sasha and John Digweed album was playing as I vaporized the white powder. Things began to vibrate and hum as I held my breath, waiting for effects. As I exhaled I knew I hadn't gotten quite enough. I took the pipe back and heated the screen, trying to get the material I knew was present there and in the stem of the pipe. A small puff of white vapor flowed into my lungs and I sat back to await effects.
Seconds after I inhaled the second hit the space behind my eyelids began to strobe and take on an entirely different character. The music penetrated my being and stretched me out along its length. There was a visual component, the familiar geometric strangeness of 5-MeO-DMT, but with some color present. As usual "I" ceased to exist as the strange new reality took over. There was nothing more to existence than the thumping trance beat coming out of the stereo and a shimmering space where my consciousness was suspended. After a few minutes I began to come back to the room, began to be aware of the people around me. It didn't take long before I was "back", but still extremely high. I think that the presence of others in the room brought me back before I would have returned in other circumstances. Usually the trip is mostly over by the time I return to awareness of my surroundings. This time that wasn't the case. As I talked with my friends I still felt very trippy and energized by the experience. It seemed to last longer than usual, but that may have just been my perception. I didn't note a start time on the clock, so it is impossible to say for sure. Once I felt totally back to ground zero we got into my car and headed for the party.
We arrived at the location (a skating rink) and went inside. It was a smaller party, but there were still several hundred people there. I ran into some friends of mine and accepted a small amount of GHB (probably less than one gram) from them. I was supposed to meet L (my girlfriend) there, so I was planning on postponing the start of my actual trip until her arrival. I hung out with the friends I met up with while waiting for L. After a while I began to worry that she wasn't going to make it. She was late and I wondered if she hadn't just decided to stay home and catch up on sleep. Finally, about 12:40 I took two hits of acid, figuring she wasn't going to make it after all.
I was talking to G and R, some friends of mine while I waited for the acid to work. G and I decided to go out and dance for a while as the acid began to work. We moved closer to the speakers and began dancing. The music was breakbeats and they just weren't doing it for me. After fifteen minutes or so of dancing I decided I just wasn't going to find my groove with music I didn't care for and sat down.
The acid was working pretty well by this point. I was definitely feeling altered. When I closed my eyes I was getting faint but definite visuals in long, vertical slices of flowing color. A little different than my "typical" acid visuals. I was in a somewhat down mood, due to the fact that L had never shown up. I figured she was OK, but the chance remained that something had happened to her and that small amount of paranoia was preying on my mind. I decided to try a few minutes of meditation to clear my mind and center myself.
I closed my eyes and began counting my breath, trying to focus on the flow of air into and out of my lungs. My time sense was extremely dilated, making a minute seem like three or four times as long. I did maybe three or four minutes worth of meditation, but I kept getting distracted. The edge of a crowded dance floor is not the ideal place to do a silent sitting meditation. It did take the edge off, but I still felt down and I began to wonder if I should have taken the LSD.
G came up to me and I told him I needed to get away from the breakbeats, which were beginning to be really obnoxious, even oppressive. He agreed and we moved over to the side, off the dance floor into a sort of chill out area. We ran into R there and sat down to talk to her. After a few minutes another friend appeared with my girlfriend in tow. This changed my mood almost instantaneously.
I got up and hugged L tightly and told her how glad I was to see her. I introduced her to my friends and we sat down to chat. Neither of us was into the music that was playing and she felt the party was pretty lame. I was having a better time since she arrived, but I was more than ready for the next DJ to come on. We took the opportunity to catch up on what we'd been up to since we last saw one another. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the next DJ came on and threw down a tremendous hard house beat. This was approximately two hours into the trip, just as I was peaking.
I was finally ready to dance. L asked me to wait while she went to the bathroom. I danced near the outside door while I waited for her to return. When she finally did (it seemed to take forever) we moved out onto the dance floor.
I liked the music that was playing and definitely felt a lot better at this point. I was really enjoying dancing but was still having a difficult time really finding my groove, finding that place where everything comes together and you just move, unrestrained by extraneous thought, consumed by the music. I was enjoying the feeling of movement, but I was also very aware of how rusty I was and how long it had been since I had been out dancing.
L was sitting on the side of the floor. I walked over to her and asked how she was. She was doing all right, but still not having too great of a time. We discussed the reasons for this at some length, finally deciding to go outside for some air so she could smoke a cigarette.
It was cold but pretty outside, and it felt pretty nice to be away from the pounding beats for a minute. We talked and cuddled while she smoked and a cold rain drizzled down. When she finished we returned inside and sat down again in the chill section. We sat there and talked for a while, listening to the music. I felt the urge to dance, but I was very tired and just not that into it.
A new DJ came on and suddenly I had to get out again. He was spinning some great progressive house. I grabbed a spot near the speaker and began getting down. For the first time all night I really found my groove. L was walking around, stopping to talk to me whenever she was in my area. Other than that I was pretty much lost to the world. I was completely taken over by the pulsing beats and squelches emitting from the speaker cones. I danced to his stuff for close to an hour nonstop.
L indicated to me that she needed to go as soon as possible. She was on the verge of falling asleep and wasn't sure if she would be able to make it to my house if we waited any longer. I was still tripping, but after some discussion I decided that we should go now in order to get everyone home as safely as possible. It was approximately 5:30 a.m. at this point.
I rounded up everyone that had come with us (a process that took fifteen or twenty minutes at least) and we headed outside. One of the people that had ridden down with me volunteered to ride back with L to keep her company and help her stay awake. The rest of us piled into my car.
I do not like driving while tripping. I hate it. I will only ever do it in situations like this, where I feel that there is little or no choice. This was five hours into the trip. I was definitely off the peak of the trip, but I was also definitely not down. We headed out onto the highway. The weather was completely shitty. It was raining steadily and it was difficult to see the lane markers. I was extremely nervous. As we drove I noticed that I was sort of zoning out on the road. Finally I had to stop. We pulled into a convenience store parking lot and listened to the stereo for a while. I explained why we were stopping to my companions and they were all right with it. I would have had one of them drive but they were more or less in the same shape I was in. After thirty five or forty minutes I was ready to leave. It was still raining steadily, and as we got on the interstate it turned to snow. I was scared, but by now I was able to ignore the lingering effects of the acid and concentrate on my driving. The remainder of the trip home was uneventful.
L and A were waiting in front of my house as we pulled up. They were worried, since we were close to an hour late. I explained what happened as we went inside and sat down. My roommate handed me the bong as I collapsed on the floor in relief. I smoked a couple of hits, then got up and went into the bathroom. While I was using the toilet I noticed I was still high, even more so than I had thought. Once I stopped repressing the effects they came back in force, helped along considerably by the pot. I was higher at that point than when we had left.
L and I went to bed and began kissing. Before long this progressed into sex. The sex was incredible. I felt totally sensual, like my entire body was one big nerve ending. I was getting weird trippy effects as well. I felt displaced in space and time, like we were different people having sex in other times and places. It was very odd, but very intriguing as well. I knew where and when and who I was, but I was getting definite sensations of being elsewhere, of being someone else. Also, when I finally came I didn't actually ejaculate. I had a definite orgasm, but without ejaculation. Afterward, we continued to have sex until I came again ten minutes or so later, this time in the normal fashion.
Soon afterward L fell asleep. I got up and ate something and watched snow fall steadily outside my window. I realized that, all things considered, we had probably left at the right time. As difficult as it had been for me to drive, it would only have been harder in a full out snowstorm, which was what was going on outside my window as I watched. After a bit I went into bed and fell asleep.
I feel pretty stupid for not anticipating the possibility of having to leave early. I knew I would be driving home, but I had planned on doing so around 7:30 to 8:30, when I was down. It didn't occur to me that I might have to leave early for one reason or another. Next time I will plan better, to minimize the possibility of this type of thing happening again. I hope I never have to drive while tripping again, under any circumstances.