Citation: Another human. "And Suddenly Yugen: An Experience with DMT (exp99695)". Erowid.org. Nov 30, 2017. erowid.org/exp/99695
||(powder / crystals)
I am writing this experience outline approximately two years after it happened, so I am sure there are a few minor details that have faded since then. I will, however, do my best to recollect as much of that afternoon as I can.
It was lightly drizzling outside, sun creeping through the clouds. Stereotypical day between winter and spring. There was a subtle undertone of new beginnings in the air. The smell of petrichor as I walked up to my friends house set the mood for what was to come.
I am greeted by two of my buddies, one male and one female. I walk with them to their room, in which resides a large tank of healthy and beautiful freshwater fish. I sit down on the side of the bed, nervously shaking for what I was anticipating. My friend, B, could see I was nervous. We spent the next twenty minutes discussing my anxieties and my expectations. I knew what I wanted to get out of the experience, and I knew WHY I wanted these things. I wanted to see some sort of objectivity; I felt as though I was drifting from my core, and needed some sort of knowledge that would assist me in becoming a better person. I had recently begun feeling more distant from family, and was beginning to have a sort of existential crisis. I was an atheist and had no belief or disbelief in any deity or afterlife, so it raised many unanswerable questions that would make me feel uneasy. I wanted to feel more connected, so I decided to do some inward exploring. This is where DMT came into the picture.
I wanted to feel more connected, so I decided to do some inward exploring. This is where DMT came into the picture.
My friend B knew how to extract DMT from Mimosa hostilis root-bark powder, and taught me how to do it. We did a pull/batch the day before, so I knew exactly where this particular DMT came from. This got rid of any suspicion I could have possibly had. Before learning how to extract it, I did research on the substance and read experience reports. I wanted to go into this as over prepared as possible. Little did I know, it would not matter how much I knew about it, it would still be just as intense and flabbergasting.
Back to the side of the bed: my friend B asks if I am ready. I tell him I'm as ready as I think I'll ever be. He puts a very small cannabis bud at the bottom of the bowl, and delicately sets the white powdered crystal on top. He informs me that he will be holding the bowl and lighting it for me, which puts me even more at ease. I put my mouth up to the pipe, and he puts the lighter near the crystals. He is very careful not to burn anything, just melt and vaporize. I fill up the pipe, and inhale. The taste and smell are ancient. The plastic-like taste runs through my whole body.
As alien as this is to me, I take another hit. This particular hit kicked things up a few notches: objects became more vibrant, matter was lightly pulsating, and this electronic hum in the air became significantly louder than normal. I had to take about 20 seconds to let it marinade. As I sit there, I notice that déjà vu was starting to blend with every moment. I felt as though certain human things were starting to dissolve. I somehow took my third and last hit, and B withdrew to give me room to lay down.
The electronic hum became even more loud, as though it's always there and we are conditioned to not notice it. This strong vibration took away my sense of free will, which was a magnificent thing to observe. At first, these alien feelings made me a bit scared, made me want to undo what I did. But I quickly forgot about my feelings, and became fascinated with what was happening all around me. I looked around the room slowly, watching objects fold in and out of each other. Colors I had never seen in this room were flowing like electricity. Golds, greens, reds, and unknown combinations of earthly colors were introducing themselves to me. I soon became overwhelmed, and decided to lie down and close my eyes.
My mindscape revealed itself to me to be related to matter, as it was folding in and out of itself in various dimensions. I watched infinite self-tessellating objects intertwine and glow gold and red. It was an ancient and beautiful pattern that I will never forget. At this point I wondered why I was experiencing this.
What happened next is something I half-expected. I had read up on DMT experiences and knew many, if not most people, have interactions with beings. It was still not something a first-timer can mentally prepare for. These self-tessellating patterns began morphing into hominid shapes. Three beings appeared out of the infinity, what felt like right in front of me. In retrospect, it was INSIDE of me. They still retained several qualities of my mindscape: they were still tessellated next to each other (even though they seemed to be of a higher dimension), and their “faces” were taking the form of something my mind could understand. I still remember their original forms: wide and happy grins, pitch black eyes, short bodies made of a seemingly unknown energy to me. But this original form soon became replaced with what my mind could make sense of: family. I saw my mothers face, my stepfathers face, and my uncles face. They were, without words, telling me they loved me unconditionally, and were happy to see me. It felt as though they were happily humming into my brain, trying to soothe me and let me know everything was alright.
Once I came to peace with my experience, they folded back into my mindscape. I felt the DMT loosen its grip, and I opened my eyes. Once I saw my friends B and L, I instantly remembered that I had inhaled DMT. My sober mind started to rise, and I could see things very clearly. I was shaking with excitement, and was rushing through my previous 5 minutes so I could remember as much as I could. I started analyzing every feeling I had during my “trip”, and tried to make sense of everything. As alien as the experience felt WHILE it was happening, I could not shake the sense of familiarity once I came back. It felt like I had been there before, a long, LONG time ago.
I had come to a few conclusions about my experience at the time, conclusions that I still cannot shake. I felt as though the human condition/experience is partially created/monitored by endogenous DMT. When I inhaled the DMT vapor, I was figuratively turning the frequency dial on my perception. The subtle hum that I heard after the first hit was the sound air particles make when they collide and comingle. I felt as though humans had evolved to not hear the sound since it serves no purpose other than a minor annoyance. Another conclusion I came to was that our brains are programmed to take in certain input and turn that into a perceivable reality. By that logic, when I inhaled DMT I was reprogramming my brain to use different energy as input: energy coming from within instead of from the outside world. In my opinion, the beings I interacted with were a construct of the human psyche, possibly ancient. This would also explain why almost everyone who experiences DMT has contact with some sort of sapient entity.
This is where I will wrap up my experience in a nutshell: beginning of spring, went to friends house, discussed my apprehensive feelings with him, went over my goals in my head (wanting to become more aware and connected with things that matter), took 3 large hits in a time span of a few minutes, objects morphed and folded, colors became more intense, déjà vu became more frequent, free will dissolved, humming took over everything, nervousness inevitably subsided, saw the beauty of the human mind, witnessed and interacted with 3 mysterious sapient beings that communicated without spoken words, perceived them as family, realized how loving and awesome my family is, realized how complex the universe really is and how I need to be at peace with not knowing most things, and realized how I need to value this moment to moment experience.
Overall a very positive and very intense experience, and was my only time using DMT. I think the reason I had such a positive experience was a combination of the DMT being very pure (white crystals extracted by my friend B and myself), the weather being promising, my friends being quiet and mature, and my willingness to learn what I could from such a bizarre experience. I know I will use DMT again some day, but only when the circumstance presents itself in a proper fashion.
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