Citation: catsandcats. "Into the Depths of Hell: An Experience with DOC (exp99282)". Erowid.org. Feb 14, 2013. erowid.org/exp/99282
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My boyfriend and I planned for months for a concert that was being performed in a circus tent. Naturally we were excited to acid and trip for it. We were having trouble finding any drugs, mostly because we were pretty last minute with the whole thing. He finally found DOC from his roommate. He bought two tabs of it, one for each of us. Neither of us had ever done the drug before. My boyfriend has at least tried just about every drug under the sun, from weed to acid to shrooms to pills. I, on the other hand, have done much less. I smoke weed pretty regularly and I have done MDMA many times. I have also tried cocaine and acid once.
The roommate compared his various experiences with DOC to that of combining acid and molly. The both of us did extensive research and we decided we were ready to do the drug. I did have some doubts about the whole thing leading up to that day. I was nervous about trying some drug that was still very mysterious to me. I didn’t know anyone else who had done it.
Since I was told it was a lot like acid, it did make me feel much better. The one time I did acid, I had an amazing time and I was eager to have another similar experience. I promised myself to hold off on doing that drug, along with other “serious” drugs until I felt comfortable with myself. I have a very serious anxiety problem and I have always been very cautious about what goes in my body, since I have had some very bad experiences in my past. I freak myself out when I lose control. When I did acid, I did it because I felt comfortable with my boyfriend, something that was very important, I didn’t want to do a crazy drug with someone I didn’t feel comfortable with.
Back to that day: we find out the concert was cancelled. We were very bummed out and my boyfriend still very much wanted to trip that night. Feeling nervous still, I tentatively agreed, knowing that I would be with my boyfriend who would help me out if I started freaking.
We took the drug at 7:30pm. It tasted bad, nothing unusual, I was used to to that taste from MDMA before. I didn’t feel anything after a half hour so we got on the subway to go to his place. On the subway, it kicked in. I felt more confident, but at the same time I felt a small pressure on my chest. It felt weird to talk, but I couldn’t stop talking. When we got off the subway, I felt like I was feeling the beginning stages of rolling, I was excited and ready for what was ahead. We got back to his room and layed in his bed: it really started to kick in. I stared at his ceiling and it was moving, like ocean currents, and it was moving fast. The words on the computer screen were moving in circles and melting. Music sounded amazing. I had the most intense elated feeling ever. I was overwhelmed with happiness. Touching things felt amazing, everything was amazing. I couldn’t shut up.
Then something great happened, there was a rainbow tint I can’t even begin to explain that covered everything. Everything was swirling into circles. When I looked at myself I couldn’t even recognize my face. I had never tripped this hard before and I was blown away. My boyfriend sat back and laughed, he enjoyed watching me experience my first real trip.
This went on for a few more hours, then things got ugly. The pressure on my chest got too intense. I started getting hot and peeled off my clothes. I started picking at my fingernails, seeing every piece of dirt. I got paranoid that my hair was falling out. And I think I even started pulling it out. I started saying scary things I can’t even remember. I became trapped in myself, the scariest images came to me. I had visions of death and my inner fears became apparent to me. I wanted out. I felt like a meth head, tweaking out in the corner. I was so scared. My anxiety was in full force.
Meanwhile, my boyfriend just sat there, he was used to feeling like this, he was not affected like I was. I switched back and forth from moments of despair like that, back to moments of intense happiness. Certain songs made me cry because they were so beautiful.
More hours passed and I really really wanted out. It was 1am at this point. I had to get up for an 8am class. I assumed this experience would be like acid, where I was able to sleep, but I couldn’t at all this time. I kept repeating “I have things to do, I want out! Help!” My boyfriend attempted to calm me down. When I finally felt calm, things then started to heat up and we started having sex.
Every moment just felt like it was blurring together, nothing seemed real. The sex was amazing, I must have orgasmed a billion times. After that was done I definitely wanted to sleep. And I still couldn’t. He eventually fell asleep and I layed there staring into the distance, once again trapped in my mind. The disturbing pictures came back. I cried and cried, I just wanted to sleep.
3:00, 4:00, 5:00....even just an hour of sleep I wanted. I shut my eyes and there were the visions again. 7:00 came and it was time to get ready for class. I was still tripping, hard. My head was pounding, the pain in my chest was unbearable. I was scared, more than I ever have been in my life. We got on the subway and I went to class. I normally wouldn’t have gone in this state, but I had to turn a paper in. The teacher didn’t collect them until the end, so for 2 hours I was tripping in class. I felt like a zombie, I had no idea what was going on or what anyone was saying. Faces morphed and everything looked so strange. I prayed that I wouldn’t get called on, I felt so sick. I was so restless, I kept almost falling asleep, but I couldn’t.
After class was over I ran home to my bed. Visions again, more crying. My roommate came in to calm me down, and I did calm down. I told her “I just want to sleep, that’s all.” I closed my eyes, and still nothing. I went to my next class at 2, still tripping, still tired, but feeling a small bit relaxed. I was almost able to function.
After that, back to my bed, and I calmed down even more. At 7 that night, I took a shower, forced some food down, and I almost felt human again. I still was having hallucinations but I was able to control them. That night I almost slept, however the next day I felt a hundred times better.
Though it was a mistake to trip so late at night, this was the worst experience of my life. Despite all the beauty I saw, I am haunted by the evil things my mind concocted. I will never do this drug again, it brought so much pain upon me. This whole experience has been extremely eye opening for me.
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