Citation: Dr. Mind. "Micro Dose Therapy: An Experience with Tabernanthe iboga (exp99277)". Erowid.org. Feb 20, 2013. erowid.org/exp/99277
As a transpersonal hypnotherapist I am going my own process of exploration and understanding for a while now. I have quite a few experiences though powerful and healing ceremonies with Ayahuasca, Mushrooms, LSD, transpersonal hypnosis and meditation. I quit chemical drugs like MDMA, amphetamine and research chemicals one year ago after more than 10 years of heavy use.
Nonetheless there were some behavioral and psychological issues I wanted to understand and transform. Habits that are not in alignment with my rational and emotional understanding of health, well being and conscious living. Nicotine and marijuana abuse, depressive thought structures, self-pity, lack of motivation, foggy thoughts…
In the following report I will quickly summarize main aspects of the 4 week period, so that it will help and support other people while going this powerful path of insight and letting go, of understanding, confrontation and the development of alternate patterns and realities.
I started taking the Iboga micro dose every morning directly after waking up on empty stomach with water. Watching into a mirror, using the affirmation “I am clear, I am conscious, I am free”. Using a very small dip of the Iboga extract to feel the taste and connect to its energy before swallowing a capsule with the morning dose. I am using powdered root-bark. I ate vegan most of the time.
Week1: I started with a small dose of 250mg capsule to check for allergies or digestive problems. Slight feelings of dizziness and loosened thought structures. Everything seemed to go more easily and with slightly more motivation. Next day I took 500mg. A lot of dizziness but not unpleasant. I was feeling energy going. My mood was enhanced and brightened even that I had problems to really get connected to the substance. In-between I was feeling like an excited child starting to play with something new. There was this kind of childish motivation just to have fun with doing something. Depressive thought forms that I was confronted with before, disappeared slightly. If they came I was feeling them more distant and saw them coming from outside. Next days I used to go with 300mg two times a day. The first week was really coming into contact. No big insights just getting to know each other. There just came more motivation in “doing something”. It sometimes reminded me of small doses of amphetamine but without the chemical tingling in the brain. Maybe due to dopamine interactions but much more natural and easy. No rebound effects.
Week2: I take 400mg two times a day. The effect is powerful. I am much more awake, very clear and precise. I feel kind of de-personified. It’s me doing things but also it’s me observing myself doing things. If a feeling is approaching I can follow the track down to the origin. In comparison to other psychedelics it’s not as “magic”, it’s more analytical, cold, sharp, defined. I realize a lot of my self-destructing habits. Trying to quit smoking brings me forward to immense blockages, self-pity and resistance. After some days off I start smoking again. It feels more wrong. It’s much harder to betray myself with thoughts and excuses. Using trains and the underground is sometimes frightening. I can sense clearly the energy fields of people. It’s like my third eye is opening. If I look to someone, they directly sense it and look into my eyes. The eye contact is much more piercing and direct.
In the underground I sometimes feel threatened. Too dark, too narrow. On the other hand I realize my judgments towards other people in a confronting way. Seems that I am not the nice guy that is spiritually evolved like I thought I was before. On one occasion I watch out the window at the train station, look into the face of a man and cannot see it. It’s just like an even flat mass without nose, eyes and mouth. It’s a very strange feeling, because it does not feel like a hallucination. All the rest of the image is very stable. It’s just his face. The man losing his face. I am shocked and fascinated by this experience. Very real!
It’s difficult to come to rest at nights. I feel much more energy. I can write my psychological journal very fast and I also read much faster. The words I read are going directly into my mind without any hindering. I decide to read channeled information. Even that some concepts are very far-away from our scientific status quo – the concepts are brilliant and I am able to understand the far reaching conclusions of that material. While reading, worlds of understanding are created on a side track of my mind. One time I try to smoke some marijuana but it feels totally wrong. The effect is unpleasant. I am glad to get away from it since starting the micro dosing.
Week3: I take 400mg two times a day. Have to work on the computer a lot this week. It does not fit together. I have the impulse to be much more outside, doing internal work or reading. Due to my job this week I am not able to. I have a lot of contact with unknown people. I am very aware of their energies. In business talks I am on top of the wave. My argumentation is strong and people follow my words. In the evening I am exhausted. Wrong work under influence of this substance. Nonetheless I realize my behavioral structures and patterns in contact with business relationships. I have some problems “coming down” at night. Dreams are weird, very intense but also clearing and I am releasing a lot of crap between the lines. Symbols are strong but come in totally new ways. It’s less poetic or surreal and much denser than in my dreams before.
In the morning I tend to need more sleep. If I get it I am perfectly energized. If I have to stand up while only 5 hours sleep I am only functioning without much content in it but still more precise. One evening I am getting really frustrated about quit smoking. I realize that as long as I believe I cannot control this behavior, I will not control any behavior. So I quit. First days kind of disciplined-aggressiveness. Then it’s becoming better. I feel like coming back to control my thoughts. There is a strong voice pushing me to take just one more cigarette, but I can work with that Ego-State and resolve it with therapeutic strategies… It’s like being my own therapist in a very clear and mental way, without hindering emotional boundaries.
If there are no sounds in my surrounding it’s like hearing a loud silence… Can be annoying sometimes while wanting to sleep. On one occasion I go to my office have to cross a street, seeing the houses I have to go to. After crossing I suddenly realize that I walked totally wrong. Even that I checked the way before and I was going “the right way” now I was on the wrong corner. Super weird feeling. I realized that feeling safe with our senses and mind is an absolute illusion. I would swear that I was going the right way. Anyway. Powerful example of the illusion of space and time or the false safety of thinking we know what’s going on.
Week4: I am taking doses of 400mg – 500mg in the morning and 300mg – 400 mg in the afternoon. Right now I am totally in the process of recognizing thought patterns, misconceptions and conclusions. I see myself as clear as never before. I can go back to situations that imprinted certain kind of coping strategies and can “heal” and let go of inappropriate structures. I am totally immerged and absorbed in that process and have less focus on my surroundings and persons (e.g. family and friends). Dreams are totally different then anytime before. Very clear, very dense, very weird but always relieving. From time to time very bitter and also frightening. I have problems to go into meditation. My mind is too active. Have problems to connect to certain frequencies or states of mind but get massive input about my personality structure.
Working with clients in therapy now is powerful. It’s like I open the door and see their problems without them even talk to me. While working with them my first impressions are nearly 90% right. It’s like I am able to read between the lines without interrupting “false presumptions” and prejudices. It feels like I am very sensitive to energy structures, thought forms and emotional patterns. I do some of the best sessions with them in my whole career. While working I see complexes of their psycho-emotional structures as visual compositions. Sometimes my physical view is a little bit distracted like having a 1ms offset while moving my head. So far there is less physical contact with my girlfriend. She is also doing the micro-dosing with a much lower dose without having these strong benefits of understanding herself in detail. Maybe this is also connected to not being psychologically trained as I am. She is doing a lot of art and it helps her. To close the micro dose period I decide to take a larger dose at the end of the week.
Last day: 800 mg in the morning, 500 mg 2 hours later, 400 mg in the afternoon. I take it into my mouth, letting it there for some minutes and then swallow. I have to rest. Every sound is very loud. With eyes closed it’s like I am flying from topic to topic. I cannot control that process. Some thoughts are very dense and heavy. I realize family patterns, relationship patterns, life patterns. There is a huge understanding without judgment. Some areas feel unpleasant but I know I have to go through it. At a certain point it’s like I am breaking my head or my mind. I am becoming very dizzy. Then suddenly I realize that thinking does not have to be heavy and difficult. Directly I start to feel better. I regress back to situations as a child where I came to the conclusions that thinking hurts. I open my eyes and feel free. In the afternoon I get a heavy headache (which I nearly never have). I go to sleep. Next morning I wake up like awakening out of a 100 year long sleep.
Right now I feel the effects becoming less. My mind is becoming fuzzier again. Anyway I think it was a tremendous and marvelous inner work that has happened here. From a therapeutic point of view, this substance is absolutely powerful for re-creating behavioral an emotional patterns and opening up for energetical realities beside our so called “scientific-world-views”. In combination with psychotherapy it could be very helpful for a lot of neurotic and self-destructive patterns. In low dose absolutely manageable with real-life even that it’s good to take some time off. I am less depressed, more motivated and active, clearer and much more focused in general. Will do it again with more free time after 6 – 10 months pause.
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