Citation: Joe. "Immaterial Existence: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (5x extract) (exp9866)". Erowid.org. Feb 19, 2004. erowid.org/exp/9866
I had read about Salvia divinorum, so I ordered some. Supposedly it was very powerful and shouldn't be tried alone, but anybody I trusted was too far away. So I divided the stuff up into piles with a credit card and measured out 1/16 of a gram, and smoked that. It was like really good marijuana that wore off very quickly. So I thought, well if that's all it does, I'll just take some more and it'll last longer.
I didn't measure the second time, just put in like half a bowl. I took one long, slow inhalation, which burned the entire contents of the pipe. It was like going immediately to the peak of an acid trip. At this level, the body, or any kind of matter, simply is not an issue. With acid, I knew matter was still there but I wasn't concerned about it. With Salvia I didn't even know it was there and I was even less concerned about it. I was only conscious of a bunch of nameless things. Some things seemed more important than others, but all functioned outside the realm of language. it was like a nonverbal philosophical debate. I felt like I was about to see something incredibly enlightening, but I first had to be willing to die right now and give up everything I had and everything I believed in.
That happened to me once before when I was on acid and I had said to the gods 'sure, why the hell not, I have lived my life wanting to know the truth so why stop short,' and it had been shown to me but I lost it after a few days. It happened to me again drug-free, much more gradually, after long periods of intense meditation every day for weeks, and again I had accepted, but then I had lost control of everything, completely lost touch with the popular conception of reality, and ended up in a mental hospital, which was probably the most horrible experience of my life. So this time, I wasn't willing to make the sacrifice. Also, those other 2 times I hadn't had much to live for anyway and this time I was in love with somebody, and we had promised each other we wouldn't kill ourselves. So the door closed.
I came down within like 15 minutes, and it was another 15 minutes after that that my environment regained its previous level of recognizeability. I was like 'holy shit.' Actually, the phrase that was distinctly going through my head was 'What, are you fucking kidding me?'
I wanted to do it again, but this time focusing on something more concrete. I took a painting off the wall that the girl I mentioned gave me, and I filled the pipe with an equal dose. I smoked it and it was probably a good 7 minutes before I was aware of my body again. By the time I was capable of recognizing the painting, looking at it wasn't much different from looking at it sober.
That was the most I've ever taken at once but I plan on experimenting with it more. Every time I do it it's like the first time. The effect has not dulled. And I always feel like I am not ready to really handle what the drug has to show me: I'm too interwoven and dependent on stupid bullshit that the enlightenment would strip me of.
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