Citation: Nigeru Mono. "Manic and Detached: An Experience with 3-MeO-PCP (exp98141)". Erowid.org. Nov 3, 2012. erowid.org/exp/98141
I live in a part of the world, where there is virtually no black market for drugs.... It is an small town in the arctics only connected to the surrounding world by airplanes and ships. There simply are no roads out of here Anyway, the only thing that can be obtained here is hashish and I am not a fan of that. I LOVE dissociatives and I have some experience with DXM from my teenage years, when that was the only stuff we could get... It was sold over-the-counter back then. Later I developed a fondness of ketamine, and I have had wonderful, introspective experiences with that drug. I would *love* to have some ketamine right now, but since I am a bit geographically challenged, I decided to order some 3-MeO-PCP, as it can be shipped legally anywhere in the world ....
It took around 5 days and I was really happy when I received the discrete, white envelope at my school (which is where my mail is being delivered). I took it home to my room, opened it and ate a tiny dip of the powder to check for allergies and possible toxicity. I did not feel anything from that and decided to try a small the following weekend. I do not have a precision scale. I eyeball stuff. [Erowid Note:
Two samples of powder (even of the same chemical) with equivalent volumes won't necessarily weigh the same. For this reason, eyeballing is an inaccurate and potentially dangerous method of measuring, particularly for substances that are active in very small amounts.
See this article on The Importance of Measured Doses.]
It is irresponsible, I know :/ I just start out with a tiny, tiny pile and then work my way up, developing a feel for the substance along the way..
Anyway, I PO'ed around 5mg short time after getting off from school. I had bought 2 bottles of white wine for the evening, as we had just turned in a major assignment, and holidays where coming. During the come-up I felt more and more detached from the world, like my body was doing stuff on it's own and I was just riding along. In that sense, 3-MeO-PCP reminded me a lot about my DXM-experiences, where I have never hallucinated, but always felt very alienated to the things happening around me. Anyway, I drank some white wine and decided to continue writing on this short story, that I was in the process of writing.. I had already decided on the frame of the story and had a rough plot, so I just tried to make my imagination and feeling about the story come alive in written words. I felt very energetic and a kind of tunnel-vision towards the text that I was writing. It was quite easy to turn my imagination into words and to imagine how a potential reader would receive the text, so I wrote around one full A4-page on my computer in what felt like half an hour. When I read it now, it all makes sense and I cannot really improve it. It's good shit.
Then my friend, who I am studying with, came by.... He had also turned in his assignment and was ready to party. He ate some of the 4-HO-MET, that I have also ordered through the internet. He is not into dissociatives, so he did not care to try the 3-MeO-PCP. The atmosphere between us was great. We talked and talked... I don't really remember about what, but I remember that I felt that we where opening to each other, having a meaningful, deep conversation and I was convinced that everything I said was creme de la creme of 'what could be said' ....... That we where uncovering deep personal and universal truths in our conversation.
I had talked to another guy from my class (N) earlier about watching a movie the same night, and I felt a bit obliged to go to the common room (both me, my 4-HO-MET-munching friend and this 3rd gentleman live in the same student house) and see if he was up to something. So I snorted a small bump, around the same size as the first and then we both went to the common room and met N there. I brought the second bottle of wine as the first had now been emptied. I told him that I was pretty much up for any movie that I had not seen before, and that I would love to be challenged (or maybe provoked?) a bit. So we put on 'The Hurt Locker'.
I am generally not very positive about war, so he struck a nerve by putting on a movie about the world of a 'modern' common soldier. The movie was very convincing, I remember, but I did not feel that strongly about the horrifying things happening on the screen, maybe because I was quite dissociated. Anyway, when it was done, I still had a bit of megalomaniac in me and wanted to share my 'sophisticated critique' of the movie with N.... It was all bullshit though I was too drunk and dissociated to really make any sense. The movie had shown, quite realistically, I think, how it is to be an american soldier in Iraq. I was provoked by the fact that the movie only showed the war from one side, and that was the only reason for not liking it. I think. But it gets kind of blurry at this point I went to bed and had some vivid dreams about travelling with this train, that had 'Ganesh' written on the side of it. Ganesh is known as the remover of obstacles, and it made me think about how it is necessary to let go of stupid shit (like annoyances, worries, etc) before real meditation can commence. When I woke up, I still felt a bit unreal, but I graduately came to myself as my hangovers faded.
Anyway, from this experience, I would say that 3-MeO-PCP makes me feel detached in kind of the same way as DXM does.... I guess that is what dissociation kind of means? 3-MeO-PCP also has a manic side to it. I *can* sit down and watch a movie, but as soon as I decide to do something productive, my mind starts tunnelling, and my fingers start to fing. There might be some productive potential in this drug.
I have used the substance two times since the experience in the above story. I had similar experiences both times.
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