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Nightmare Alive
Diphenhydramine
Citation:   WaffleNY. "Nightmare Alive: An Experience with Diphenhydramine (exp97349)". Erowid.org. May 29, 2026. erowid.org/exp/97349

 
DOSE:
500 mg oral Diphenhydramine
BODY WEIGHT: 130 lb
At the time, I had a good amount of experience with drugs (marijuana, cocaine, methamphetamines, MDA, etc) but I had never ingested pills for a high before.

I had seen a thread on the synonymous website '4chan' where a man reported taking 600 milligrams for a 'high'. Immediately, I realized I had an entire bottle full of this in my bathroom. Being a curious idiot, I ran to the bathroom and immediately grabbed 20 pills.

At the time, I was on a webcam service with some friends who also enjoyed drugs. I ingested them on camera at around 11:30 PM. We continued the chatting along on webcam like normal. A friend suggested to further research this drug and it's effects. Naturally, I went to a reputable harm reduction website to read experiences and whatnot. I was not prepared.

Reading the bad experiences and everything really psyched me out, but being a 14 year old dumbass I figured 'Nah I'm super hard I can handle it unlike these pussies'. No, not the case.

I had just ended the webcam chat with my friends and started doing my normal web browsing (4chan, news, short stories). Around 11:40, I had still not experienced anything out of the ordinary. It was just a normal night, until I heard something. It was a faint noise at first, but became louder minute by minute. I realized it was a song. Kind of like Latino hip hop you'd hear on a Spanish radio station. I didn't question it, but decided I should get up to check what's outside (maybe it was a car's stereo or a neighbor's music). As soon as I stood up, I realized I was feeling things. I was very disoriented, barely able to walk.

I shrugged off the disorientation as nothing, seeing as at this time I'm quite sleepy anyways. The music had stopped as soon as I left my chair, though. I approached the window (which had an air conditioner in it) and took a look outside to see the entire street void of life. No cars, people, the lights were off, just dead street. This was strange, but nothing too odd for me. I stumbled back to my computer, sat down and continued browsing. The same music resumed playing, and for some reason, my attention went to the air conditioner. The music stopped. I looked around the entire room at everything whilst the music played, but as soon as my attention was on the air conditioner the music stopped.

This was the first real hallucination. I deducted that the air conditioner was the source. This just made me so confused and scared that I decided it wasn't real. The music became so loud I turned off my computer's sound just to hear it. I rather enjoyed the song. The sounds went to a commercial break said in Spanish(?). Now, I'm not saying I'm the smartest person ever, but I've been gifted with a 140 IQ. I realized every hallucination was something from my own brain, something I must've seen or head at one point in my life, even if I didn't recognize it (like the music). I literally laughed and said to myself 'Boy, you crazy'. As my sight went back to the screen, it went over my bookcase. I fixated my eyes on it, when all of a sudden, SPIDERS. I had read of insects and spiders, but doubted that I would experience it.

Something I haven't stated, I only have 2 true fears. They are being 100% alone forever, and spiders. This spider that was crawling out of the bookcase, it wasn't a normal spider. Not black, grey, or brown like one you'd normally see. It was translucent. Like from the movie 'Predator' when the camouflage on the suit is turned on, and the predator isn't 100% invisible. It was on an invisible web, and it was sprinting towards me VERY fast. I quickly looked away and went back to my computer. I felt mostly safe while looking at the screen. But as soon as I looked anywhere else, spiders. Or, I call them, 'Shadow People'. Silhouettes that disappear when you try looking at them directly. I was scared, but not overly shaken. I continued on the computer, and was talking to a few friends over text chat. Re-reading the messages, my typing was very shoddy.

More and more, minute by minute, the hallucinations were appearing. None of them would jump out at you, but they would slowly materialize. Like the music from the air conditioner, they would start small and keep growing until they were the one thing I could focus on. The entire time, I had music playing (an MGMT pandora radio station). I paused the music to get up for a bathroom break, when I heard the sounds of a walmart or food store. People talking, carts rolling around, a manager over the intercom. This was when I really fell deep into Diphen's clutch. I slowly made my way to the bathroom which was the next room over, almost falling over many times. I managed to make my way into the bathroom and shut the door behind me. I started peeing when I remembered that erectile dysfunction was supposed to be present while on the drug. This was true. My penis was shriveled and small, as if I had been out in the cold. The urine seemed to flow out in a peculiar way, without effort. I finished and flushed, and as I was washing my hands, behind the cold and warm water knobs was an entire colony of the meanest translucent spiders I could even imagine. Something you could only see in a nightmare. I shook off my hands and went downstairs to fetch a glass of water.

Descending stairs was a challenge. I had blacked out memory wise and can't remember much of what happened, but I find myself in the kitchen with the freezer open. I take out 5 ice cubes that have this glow all around them, it scares me. I place them in a glass and pour filtered water into it. This was surprisingly easy. I ascended the stairs with relative ease, as I was getting used to the disorientation. I sit there on the computer for hours, sipping and reading. The whites displayed on the screen keep warping into different colors, and if I were to stare at a single thing for more than 3 seconds, a spider would spawn. This was terrifying. At this point, I heard my friend next to me asking if I was okay. I turned to see my friend Jon sitting casually. I said 'No, I'm not. I think this is a bad trip, I'm scared'. Jon didn't move, not a single bit. I turned away to lock my computer screen (habit) and when I looked back, Jon was gone. I searched the entire room, he was nowhere to be found. This was the first person my mind materialized.

Seeing as it was almost 3 AM, I locked my computer for the night. I got up, picked up my phone and tried slipping it in my pocket only to find I picked up nothing. I picked the phone up again, with success. I made my way to the bathroom, seeing shadow people lurking everywhere along with spiders crawling around me. This was something out of a Stephen King novel I thought to myself. I brushed my teeth for what seemed like days. I couldn't stop, for fear of being punished. Eventually I gained the courage to rinse and leave the bathroom. I put on my retainers, even though they were covered in this black sludge my mind made up. I have a fairly strong mind, so I could tell that certain things weren't real. I made my way to my pitch black room.

Now, I can't say that my recollection of the rest of the trip is perfectly clear, but I'll tell all of what I can remember. I turned off all the lights, and pulled a comforter over myself. When I was actually talking to my friend Jon over webcam, he suggested listening to music. I was so deep into the clutch of this substance I couldn't bring myself to even turn on music. I plugged my phone into it's charger right next to my bed. The charger puts off a faint blue glow that radiates around the room, casting just enough light to make outlines visible. At this point, madness struck me. I was insane.

This is now my biggest fear; Being unable to tell what is real and what is not. What was hallucination and what was physically there? What was I to trust, when I couldn't even trust what I could see? I lie there in bed, wide awake mentally, but physically exhausted. I saw, lying on the ground in some clothes, my ex-girlfriend's sister. Me and her were friends in reality, and she partook in drugs regularly (only marijuana). As soon as I saw her, she shot me a smile and then went to her iPhone to check twitter or something. I whispered, 'Oh thank God, you're here. I need to tell you something really badly...' I was met with no response. She kept on her phone, not paying any attention to my words. I whispered a little louder 'Can you hear me? Get off your phone, bitch, I need you. Please'. At this point I was projecting inner feelings, seeing as I was drifting from her in real life. I went to tap her shoulder, when she instantly vanished. No sign of her being there, none. My eyes were as big as my face, I was astounded. I turned back over to check my phone. No notifications. I turned over again to see my ex-girlfriend'd mother. She wasn't necessarily for my drug usage, so I pleaded 'Okay I'm sorry but please don't get mad, I'm sorry. Please it's okay we're fine'. This honestly made no sense, but my mouth muttered it anyways.

Again, no attention was put to me. She stood there, with a half smile on her face, kind of gazing off into the distance. I thought to myself 'Whatever, she can stand if she wants'. I checked my phone again, to find no notifications. She still stood there, as if she had business to handle with me. I whispered angrily 'Please, I'm sorry, but this isn't right. I'm sorry! Just go!' and as soon as I blinked, nothing. Just normal room. This was when I first realized nothing was real, but nothing was fake. A rollercoaster designed by your conscience, for your mind to ride. Again, it was having a nightmare while awake. Now, the time was about 5 AM. I still checked my phone every 2 minutes or so, expecting something to be there. I had gotten up once to get a drink of water, but didn't realize it. Up until this point, I just shut my eyes as hard as I could and pulled my blanket over my head for safety. I was not safe from myself, though.

It was as if my mind was at constant battle with itself. Let it be noted that away from the disorientation, I experienced no other physical changes. No nausea or anything. Not much was remembered past the 5 AM mark. I do remember spiders off in the distance, and many more shadow people. Just creepy things you would never want to experience.


In conclusion; this is no other drug. Honestly incomparable. It's a chemical shock in the body. My mind literally attacked itself with every bad though I've ever had. My inner fears are unleashed, and I needed to question everything you see. By far the scariest experience I've ever had with drugs. It's the cheapest high, but also the scariest. It lasted for 8+ hours, and costed probably a dollar or two in pills. Let it be noted, I finished the bottle shortly after, and had an experience not half as scary, but still not quite enjoyable.

Exp Year: 2012ExpID: 97349
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 14
Published: May 29, 2026Views: Not Supported
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Diphenhydramine (109) : General (1), First Times (2), Difficult Experiences (5), Bad Trips (6), Alone (16)

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