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A One Way Ticket to Bedlam
Report focuses principally on Ethylphenidate
by Hikikomori
Citation:   Hikikomori. "A One Way Ticket to Bedlam: An Experience with Report focuses principally on Ethylphenidate (exp97071)". Erowid.org. Aug 13, 2012. erowid.org/exp/97071

 
DOSE:
  repeated insufflated Ethylphenidate (powder / crystals)


Just because it’s legal doesn’t mean it’s safe – a personal account of hospitalisation due, in large part, to the RC Ethylphenidate.

A bit of background leading up to Ethylphenidate ‘crisis’. In the summer of 2008, aged 20, I moved back from the University city of Manchester (with no degree and a lot of debt) having succumbed to the stress and loneliness of life there, and back to small northern provincial home town. During my time in Manchester, my primary coping mechanism for these negative emotions was cannabis, which, being in a big city overrun by a vile amount of swaggering students (of which of course I was one) and angry pseudo-gangster dealer types, was fairly easy to get hold of.

I used to smoke almost every day for two years –not a lot by some accounts, but enough to consider the possibility of a substance misuse problem. This theory was given further credence when, getting back home and knowing nobody to buy cannabis from (I’ve always been very shy and have a diagnosis of GAD), the most logical thing to do was, in my mind, start drinking. The drinking went on for about 2 years, during which time I got into trouble with police, people in the street, my own family, myself (numerous mortifying A&E trips after having reached the stage where all inhibitions, even those of self preservation, were drowned under booze, and all those demons urging me to harm myself began to make sense,)

One day alcohol just seemed to lose its appeal. I’d still drink socially, and almost certainly far too excess, but the days and weeks of liver-punishing ethanol intake seemed to fade away. Of course, there was a reason for this. About this time I discovered the lovely legal loophole that allows citizens of this Kingdom to legally buy dried opium poppies (Papaver somniferum). With slight trepidation I bought a KG of these, thinking, of course, ‘well, just this once,’ a promise broken and 20 bags of pods delivered to my door later.

As a purely recreational drug, morphine and its derivatives are about as good as it gets. However, I used Poppy Tea the vast majority of the time as a means to quell my anxiety. As anyone who’s used a decent opiate will know, these are drugs that just make you not give a fuck. For the first time in years I could walk down a street in public and feel relaxed. I digress, and need to get to the point – this is a report about ethylphenidate anyway.

Most relevant report begins here:

Once I realised the possibilities of buying not just dried flowers, but pharmaceuticals, off the ‘net, It wasn’t long after a quick detour through the wonderful world of online benzo sellers (what a mistake that turned out to be – but that’s a story for another time) that I stumbled across the RC (Research Chemicals) scene. A myriad of shops, more sprouting up each day, offered novelties seemingly too good to be true. Ł12 for a bag of synthetic THC packing the same punch as an ounce of weed? Huh! I’d be a fool not to (of course, it turned out to be thoroughly disappointing).

However the chemical that did catch my eye and pique my curiosity was something called Ethylphenidate. Described by various sources as an ‘analogue’ to Methylphenidate (aka Ritalin, Concerta), a drug I’d tried (illicitly) some years earlier with varying degrees of success. With methyl- the initial rush of euphoria i found very intense and pleasurable, but alas, for me at least, not very long lasting (20 mins max). What followed then was the most god-awful feeling of utter wretchedness which left me wondering if I'd caused myself some serious neurological damage. At least that’s how I felt. And it lasted for bloody hours.

So, in possession of a small cache of benzos in case things turned awful, I bought a gram of the Ethylphenidate. A lot of forum posters have reported that snorting this stuff hurts like hell. I can’t say I’d agree. On a scale of 1-10, the pain is about 5. And only for a few seconds. The worst pill I’d ever insufflated (as a drunken dare) was the SSRI Sertraline....good god, I almost considered calling an ambulance. So maybe my nasal passage pain threshold is higher than most. Indeed, as a foolish kid I pierced my own nasal septum...try to imagine one of those scrap car crushing machines crushing your entire face, that’s how it felt ... and all so I could look like a twat.

I first tried the Ethylphenidate about 3 months ago. First few goes it was a lot like its methyl- brother; come up noticed within a matter of minutes (insufflated), peaking from anywhere from 5-10 mins; short lived , tight chested, warm, tingly, and sweaty euphoria. This feeling lasted the length of one song (5mins?) and then –thwuppp- down I go. Anxiety, paranoia, sadness, sense of doom, and of hopelessness...ultimately of utter self-worthlessness.

Having said that, the music I played during the peak of the euphoria was something I’d never really listen to (NIN – Closer). Perhaps the choice of music was a little too dark to maintain any sense of elation. Music really seems to greatly influence a drug experience. I can take enough diphenhydramine to be delirious and seeing spiders, but if I’ve got something like Little Richard playing (and, admittedly, a benzo or 5 on board), I’m able to stay pretty relaxed.

Needless to say, I’d bought the stuff, so I was gonna use it. 40mg diazepam (this may be quite a high dose for some people) seemed to take the edge off without killing the extroversion the Ethylphenidate provided.

Interlude

Methods of Ingestion

I also began experimenting with different means of consuming the drug. Like other drugs, the manner of taking the substance produces somewhat different effects. Insufflation seems to be the standard means of consumption; onset of effects are fairly quick, and depending on dose and tolerance, a pleasant rush was felt. Disadvantages to this method seem to be fairly severe irritation of the nasal membranes – toot a lot and I’ll be snorting out great red hunks of god knows what for days after.

Parachuting the powder in a cigarette paper, or (seemingly better, but possibly placebo) mixing with a shot of spirits, produces a slower, warmer onset, which is no less unpleasant than the faster rush of insufflations. It’s probably a fair bit better for the body too. And it lasts longer, which is always nice.

Despite my better judgment I also tried smoking the drug. Vaporising on a piece of foil or light bulb (non-frosted please..) produced a thick white smoke smelling strongly of burning plastic. It takes balls, (or stupidity) to inhale this smoke, which I just know is going to take at least 5 years from my life with each lungful. On the plus side it doesn’t taste too unpleasant, and I hardly need point out that this is the fastest route of ingestion, providing the most intense rush, but the shortest duration.

I.V. administration I haven’t tried, nor have I tried rectal. Rectal I would attempt if i had the right kit, as one can be fairly certain that next to I.V., it would deliver the most intense rush. Finally, sprinkling a little powder onto a cigarette seems to have very little effect, but I should admit I’ve never put much Ethylphenidate onto a cig for fear of simply wasting it.

End of Interlude

In hindsight, the extra Ethylphenidate I bought I should have binned. Nor should I have made numerous repeat orders of the stuff. I suppose I must have used about 6 grams over 3-4 weeks. After a month or so of use I’d lost over a stone and a half in weight, and had become almost suicidally depressed. I didn’t wash for weeks on end, cried uncontrollably at home and in public....it certainly wasn’t fun anymore.

Ultimately I became so ill (and yes, I take responsibility for my situation; it was my inability to say no that fucked me over – but saying no, resisting temptation, even when fully aware of the harm it was causing, was very hard for me), that I was placed in a psychiatric ward under a Section 2 (A British detaining order for those deemed a danger to themselves or others due to mental illness). I stayed there in total just over 5 weeks (on a side note I was sectioned for taking 40mg diazepam, which my social worker refuses to believe was not a suicide attempt...needless to say I’ll be getting another community worker soon....)

Utterly foolish as this will sound, I did order another gram of Ethylphenidate with an order of etizolam. Interestingly, the effects, both positive and negative of Ethylphenidate were greatly reduced this time round. I suppose there could be several hypotheses for this:- bad batch of the drug (I should point out I’d ordered from them before and their products were sound – indeed, the etizolam from this same order was genuine); 5 weeks in psychiatric hospital (which are about as unstimulating a place as you can find) had calmed my mind down to a less frantic degree.

However, the explanation that I find most likely is that the combination of meds I’ve been put on in hospital, (Pregabalin (Lyrica) @150mg/day and Duloxetine@90mg/day – respectively an anti-convulsive with noted anxiolytic properties, acting on the GABA system [as far as I can gather from Wikipedia]; and an SNRI [antidepressant] are somehow prohibiting the intense rush I felt before being put on the meds. Which isn’t all bad – I no longer have unbearable comedowns from the Ethylphenidate – in fact I have none whatsoever (an observation I’ve noticed people claim on various forums, which leads me to believe that those lucky sods with an abundance of neurotransmitters, i.e. mentally fairly healthy, experience much less severe comedowns from stims) - presumably because the SNRI is counteracting the depletion of neurotransmitters responsible for the awful crashes. But hey, I didn’t even do chemistry A level, and it’s 02:55 am, so don’t take my word for it. Just conjecture. Uneducated conjecture.

So to conclude. Ephylphenidate, unless it turns out to be monstrously carcinogenic could be a great drug (recreational – but quite possibly therapeutic, especially if its side effects – both euphoria and dysphoria [I never can understand people who object to feeling ‘high’ as a side effect of a medication]- are less pronounced) for some people.

This drug is definitely very ‘moreish’. It suppresses hunger to a huge degree, and if abused over a long period of time, may make you physically, as well as mentally ill. But the main point I wanted to make is that just because this is, at present, legal, does not make it any safer than most street drugs. It landed me up in hospital for almost 6 weeks after about a month of use.* Please use this substance with care.

*My problems with mental health predate the use of this drug by many years. It would be more accurate to say that Ethylyphenidate was the catalyst for this latest ‘crisis’.

Exp Year: 2012ExpID: 97071
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 24 
Published: Aug 13, 2012Views: 16,196
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Ethylphenidate (563) : Unknown Context (20), Addiction & Habituation (10), Retrospective / Summary (11)

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