Citation: Respondent 1. "Teenager's Home Use of E: An Experience with MDMA (Ecstasy) (exp96998)". Erowid.org. Jul 23, 2012. erowid.org/exp/96998
I started using ecstasy when I was 15. The first time I used it, I was expecting a trip a trip that would make me want to have sex. But I was mistaken! I discovered that it made me feel incredibly creative. I am an art major and this was very interesting so I started painting and drawing on Es.
I found that Ecstasy improved my work, not necessarily the artistic quality, but the personal meaning in the art. Before E, I concentrated on making everything nice and pretty, but didn't really concentrate enough on symbolism and personality (for my personal taste, anyway). I'm very pleased with my E-art.
I have also used ecstasy for psychological problems. I have always had a problem with depression. Maybe I shouldn't do E because of it, but I believe it has helped. I was aware of it, but the first time I did E was the first time I really discovered the severity of my depression. While I was on my first E, I decided to get some counselling and later did so. They put me on antidepressants and I have since cut down on recreational drug use. It really helped me make a big, scary step, though.
I have also used Es for relationship problems. Of course, it helped me talk about some things I needed to get out, but don't normally know how. I wouldn't always recommend it. Once I used with someone in an attempt for him to have stronger feelings for me. And while it made us much closer friends, the romantic feelings went away with the drug and left me disappointed. I used E with someone at a time when we drifting apart and it was something I really needed, but I think it had damaging effects on him. He told me a lot of things he didn't mean to tell me, and it caused problems in the relationship. I believe Ecstasy was a contributing factor in our break-up. But that may be a good thing too. Once I did E with someone I was sort of interested in, but he was very uptight and shy and I thought it would be a neat experience for him so I gave him one. He ended up becoming obsessed with me and getting angry when I decided not to continue the relationship. (You really must be careful.) The last time I did ecstasy was with my current boyfriend. I didn't get much off of it. I may have done too many (in the past year I have done about 10 pills that actually made me roll, the others were bunk or ketamine, which was another horrible story in itself) or maybe it just wasn't very good. But it was still enjoyable, and as usual, I ended up hugging my b/f very tight all night. :)
I have never used E in the way that most of my friends do, that being at a rave, surrounded by lots of people, etc. I've only done it with people very close to me (except for the one obsessed guy).
From a 17 year old (American?) girl
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