Citation: Lookeyluke. "Convulsions From Overdose: An Experience with DMT (exp96811)". Erowid.org. Jul 8, 2016. erowid.org/exp/96811
||(powder / crystals)
I have tried DMT many times, some of those being the most amazing eye opening experiences of my life. This account however is....and although these words, in my eyes and I'm sure many others' too, mean fuck all compared to actual personal experiences. I say again, these words are about a 1% accuracy when it comes to trying to explain what I went through along with shit that I can't remember at all. Well it still gives me mental goose bumps thinking of it...
I had a call one day from a friend saying he had found some DMT behind some drawers at his home.
Knowing I was looking to get hold of a bit he offered to let me have some. Also giving me the disclaimer: 'I don't know what it's going to be like, I don't know how long it's been there!' Still I accepted and made my way round to collect.
I returned home unbelievably excited as it had been some time since the last time I'd smoked DMT and I had much time to think about previous experience and I was eager to go there again. I got out the crude but effective coke bottle and pen pipe which has been used for DMT successfully many times before. I loaded the gauze with ashes upon which I put about 40mg of the white DMT powder. I then packed more ashes on top of the DMT so not to burn it with the flame, just as before, no problem.
I relax for a few moments and readied myself......I take a big hit...
Nothing.. A few colours... Patterns ...
I hit it again and not much more happened.
Feeling proper disappointed I call my friend who sold me it and proceeded to relay my disappointment ...
'Well I did say....' he said. 'But DMT doesn't go bad so you must be doing it wrong' he said. We went on 'it does go bad I said' ' it doesn't he said' and eventually we agreed to disagree.
I loaded up another hit, a little more this time.
Expecting good things I took a toke...
Nothing ! Again !
I'm highly disappointed by this time. 'I'm going to bed'.
The following evening after work I was sat indoors alone contemplating what to do about the last bit of DMT I had left, it was around 120 mg as I bought 1/4 gram in the first place. 'Am I doing it wrong???' I kept asking myself why it wasn't working, it worked this way before!
So around 10.30 pm I thought to myself 'fuck it'. I put the whole lot into the pipe on top of the ashes from the night before. 'This has to work' I said to myself. Sat back on my sofa I took a huge toke while thinking to myself, 'I'll go for a second and maybe a third toke too... Really get there!
As I draw the last bit of the very first hit I suddenly find myself thinking 'fuck! This is much more intense than ever before.' I barely had time to breathe the smoke out when the usual buzzing sound rushed in from what seemed like my right hand side with such loud intensity it make me shudder! 'fuck fuck fuck' this isn't right. No chance of toke 2. I didn't even know the meaning of 3 let alone concentrate on the pipe or anything. I think I carefully placed the pipe down on my glass coffee table, lay down on the sofa and tried to relax but the whole shuddering sensation engulfed my every thought. I was convulsing bad. 'what have I done!'
The whole motion my body was going through was sending the most intricate waves of energy through me as light and fantastic geometric patterns 'fuck fuck!' my eyes were shut at this time and it was as though every time my body would shudder or convulse my mind would be shot out from my body and rapidly placed elsewhere in my flat. The kitchen, the hallway, my bedroom! Everywhere! Every tiny little corner of every tiny little part of my home, Bang! Bang! All of this happening almost instantaneously all the time my body writhing around in what I could only at the time describe as torture. I could not relax because of this,
I felt sharp pinprick-like sensations all over my body as what felt like and what I certainly perceived it to be the DMT coursing through my body. The visuals still had me whizzing around fuck knows where and when but I remember what seemed to be every visual event of my life (I think that's what it was) flashing past me on what looked like old film projector reels, ever so intricate and detailed, 'I'm dead! What the fuck is this! What is going on! Why am I shaking soooo bad! Who am I! Where is this!
What the fuck is this! What is going on! Why am I shaking soooo bad! Who am I! Where is this!
' what! Fuck fuck! Every emotion cascaded through every part of my fucking soul. Ripping out anything that stood in its way.
I truly had no grasp of reality and seriously understood my life to be over. My self belief was being destroyed and I had no possible idea who or what I was, I was being well and truly being cleansed, I actually thought I'd pissed and shit myself at one point. It was the most terrifying experience I'd ever had.
I found myself concentrating on the relentless shaking from my body and it must have put an air of reality into the mix and I came away from the terrifying soul-destroying scenario my mind was being put through, I calmed down. Saying ' relax relax. Go with it, enjoy it now. I opened my eyes and held up my hands, never mind all the other chaos and shit that was going on in the room around, it was phenomenal! All of it was too much to comprehend and still shaking and confused and with me still feeling the pins and needles sensation all over my body, I look to find my fingers emitting lasers and lines of brilliant light. 'oh man! I can feel that' I feel the light flowing through me, ' shit! This is amazing!'
I close my eyes again and seemed to be in a room of pure light. A grid appeared. A chequer board of black and red. The shaking of my body (still apparent throughout my whole trip) would vibrate the lines of the board into fabulous shapes of undeniable beauty and superb colour. I was in awe.
The whole lot was just too much for me to handle at this point and I found myself thinking 'I want this to end, although still confused as to why I was thinking these thoughts and why the world I thought I knew was like this I found an astonishing sense of happiness and comfort, and at this point I felt a sense of reality again. I relaxed and got used to the now seemingly mild jitters I was having to endure, the patterns were now making sense, what looked like triangular twisting dancing helterskelters pushing gyroscopic microscopic kaleidoscopic needles (if that makes any sense at all ) towards my closed eyes, they seemed to go right into my brain, as if injecting my retina with something. This I felt, I really felt, I understood whatever was happening at the time. I couldn't even begin to say what it meant now, it was unusually uncomfortable but strangely I was enjoying it.
This was pretty much the end of the experience and things started making more sense, my thoughts made sense. I opened my eyes to see my tv, my sofa. My mobile phone. I touched my phone to make sure it was real and pushed myself up.
'Shit I've pissed myself' what'!
Was I sleeping just then!
Fuck! FUUUUUUCK! I'm still shaking with what I can only describe as a purely ecstatic emotional feeling. I've got tears streaming down my face. Why is this!?? I'm dribbling all down my chin. What's going on. .....
Whats this?? ...Man I've just done a DMT pipe.
A phat pipe too! Waaaay toooo much man. Waaaaay too much!
I hadn't pissed myself and it took me a good few hours thinking to initially get my head straight after that. I realised how fucking terrifyingly amazing it was. I called my mate straight after to apologise for saying that the gear was no good anymore, I was clearly fucking wrong. I told him briefly about my trip but I was too jittery to be able to talk properly. We said good bye and I was left to contemplate what had just happened.
Fuck! I really didn't know how to feel about what I had just been through but all the time thinking it through I found myself softly jittering with every thought and fleeting memory of it. All the while with a massive smile on my face.
I realise now that I was well and truly taught a lesson by the DMT. The trip had lasted for around 7 minutes.
The trip had lasted for around 7 minutes.
I hold the upmost respect for it and would never ever ever abuse it by doing that amount again.
I would never want anyone to go through what I went through but on the other hand maybe everyone should go through such an experience, it has definitely changed me for the better. I have smoked DMT since and will again. Not gone too mad with it yet as I'm very apprehensive now.
Rightly so too..
This experience is to date the most terrifying, scary, thought provoking, beautiful and most wonderful experience I have ever had with anything. I doubt there is much to top it. I'm glad that there wasn't anybody with me, especially anyone who was thinking of doing it for the first time as it would have scared the shit out of them with me violently shaking throughout, I definitely wouldn't want to put anyone off trying DMT and I certainly wouldn't have wanted the added stress of having to communicate the fact that I'm dying or that I'm going to be alright or whatever I would have said at the time. No way! It was a solitary affair and I'm glad of it.
I will want to avoid all the convulsions next time.
That spoilt my journey for sure.
However I needed to have this 'telling off' because I didn't give it the respect it deserved.
DMT is fascinating to me.
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