Citation: Stylepoints. "Lived to Tell a Cautionary Tale: An Experience with Methoxetamine (exp96796)". Erowid.org. Sep 28, 2012. erowid.org/exp/96796
Setting the scene:
I decided to trip on MXE with four other friends of mine and a trip-sitting friend who volunteered to DD, having no interest in trying the substance himself. The MXE was ordered from China by a friend of mine who has been using the substance a great deal in recent months (perhaps to his own detriment, as he received a DUI for driving on MXE not even a week ago). The friend in question was in charge of dosing for the group, as they were his drugs and he was the one in possession of a scale. There were two other male friends who were tripping, one using oral administration and another using nasal, and one other female friend, who had also elected to go the rectal route.
The guys took their doses first, and asking the provider of the drugs how much they had been dosed, they were told 50mgs. Both my female friend (who had never tried MXE) and I were under the impression we had received a dose of similar magnitude at the time. I had taken MXE twice on previous occasions, never exceeding 50mg, and in conjunction with LSD on both occasions, so I had some concept of what to expect but had never experienced the drug on its own. No experience with Ketamine or other disassociatives. I had been having a lovely weekend visiting the friends in question from out of town and was in a comfortable environment where I had tripped on acid a number of times before-- really the ideal 'set and setting'.
00:00 - My dose of MXE was dissolved into 2cc of water prior to administration and placed in a syringe for me. Immediately upon taking it, I felt my knees buckle slightly but did not lose my footing. I returned to the living room where my friends were congregating, and we smoked some pot and did a couple of nitrous chargers while we waited for the real drugs to kick in.
00:10 - I commented that I was very impressed at the speed with which my drugs were taking effect. I felt lightheaded and increasingly dizzy. I began experiencing skips in my vision, as if I were watching things in short clips that repeated over and over, perhaps as if in a music video.
00:30 - From here on, my personal recollection of the events is fuzzy at best, but fortunately my tripsitter and other less-heavily-dosed male friends were coherent enough to fill in the blank spots in my memory. I began encountering increasing difficulty speaking and articulating my experience to my friends, but I was still in a pretty good place. We were listening to Grooveshark, and whenever there were pauses between songs while they loaded, I would turn to my trip-sitter and whisper, 'shhh,' which the other guys in our group found amusing and started doing as well.
00:45 - My experience rapidly began degrading. I entered my first hard loop regarding having to work at 4pm the next day (it's about 1am real time at this point). My work schedule is in a spreadsheet in my email, and I tried pulling my schedule up to confirm my in-time, but I was completely incapable of reading text or following the lines in the spreadsheet. My phone was no longer even a rectangle to me, but kidney bean-shaped, and the lines all warped incomprehensibly. I asked my trip sitter to read my schedule to me at least four or five times and expressed severe anxiety about whether I would be sober for work the next day.
01:10 - My female friend and I were cuddled together on the couch, slurring inquiries regarding the experience to one another. We both commented that we were incredibly fucked up. She commented that she couldn't tell which arms were hers, and which were mine, and I said, 'I have arms?' And indeed, I looked down at the couch, and there lay a pile of limbs, though I could not have supposed that any of them were my own. I felt completely detached from my body. I also began experiencing ego death and was incapable of feeling the boundaries between where my mind started and where it ended. My vision was heavily distorted, as if I were looking at the world through a shattered mirror and seeing everything in shards.
01:20 - My female friend-- let's call her 'Kelly'-- began experiencing severe distress and nausea, and her fiancee 'Chris' (who was one of the guys tripping with us) removed her from the living room and had her lie down in bed in one of the back bedrooms. I don't remember them leaving the room, but their departure set me into another hard 'Where are Kelly and Chris?' loop. I would ask my trip-sitter where they were, he would tell me, and I would say, 'Oh, okay,' look at my phone again, and then ask where they were again five seconds later. My trip-sitter actually began making up different answers every time I asked, to which I would say, 'Oh, okay,' and then ask again. The remaining guys suggested maybe I should go hang out with Kelly in the back room, which sounded like a good idea. I stood up for the first time since my trip had began and immediately said, 'couch, couch, couch,' and sat right back down. They offered to carry me to the back room, which I declined.
01:45 - I finally make it to my feet for real with the assistance of my trip-sitter. I attempted to remain standing on my own, but said, 'How am I even standing? I am a triangle,' after which my other friends rushed to support me as I attempted to remain upright. The friend who had dosed me returned from wherever he had been running off to, and I finally slurred out, 'How much did you give me?' to which he replied, 'Oh, about 200mg.' I said, 'why would you do that?' and he said, 'I didn't think it would be more than you can handle,' to which I replied, 'Well, I guess I won't be doing any hula hooping tonight.'
01:50 - The guys helped drag me back to the bedroom. Kelly and I were ecstatic to see one another and I laid down in bed with her and we began making out with great abandon, much to the entertainment of our male cohorts. This actually amounted to basically the only pleasant part of the entire trip.
02:00 - Kelly and I stopped making out because she needed to puke in a bag. I couldn't even process that she was puking until she was actually done puking.
03:00 - We spent the next while hanging out in the room. The boys watched music videos, which I found overwhelming, so I closed my eyes and listened to the music. The sounds of the music were warped and distorted. I experienced strong, colorful 3D closed-eye visuals, which I tried to get pleasantly lost in, but I could not override the overwhelming sensation of doom I felt. I was incredibly disturbed by the magnitude of the dose I'd been given, as I had done my research online before dosing and seen that 120-150mg constitutes a strong dose for people experienced with the drug. I became very concerned that I would not survive the night and that this would be the way I died. The combination of warped dubstep and my closed eye visuals made me feel like I was in the film Prometheus at the end, where everything is going to absolute chaos and in the background the orchestra is just like, 'WHOMMMM. WHOMMMM. WHOMMMM. WHOMMMM.' I was absolutely terrified. Indeed, my trip-sitter and the guys not responsible for our doses were terrified for us as well.
03:30 - The guys decide that it's time to go home. Our trip-sitter drove us all home. I remember watching the road and feeling like I was looking at the world through a fish-eye lens. It felt as if there was no car between me and the road and I was just calmly gliding along the street, like a ghost.
03:50 - We make it back to Kelly and Chris's house, where my trip-sitter and I were staying the night. Chris provided me and Kelly with some Ambien so that we had a prayer of sleeping through the night. (I normally take Trazodone to sleep, so I was grateful beyond words that he had the big guns to whip out, since Trazodone always seems to get trumped by psychedelics for me.) I took my dose and almost immediately curled up on the couch and passed out.
11:00 - I wake up and am still tripping. I begin sobbing hysterically, because now at this point I have to be at work in five hours and there is absolutely no way I am capable of functioning yet. We agree that I will attempt to get my shift covered, but if I'm not able to my trip-sitter will drive me to and from work so that I don't have to risk driving my car like this.
11:45 - We leave Chris and Kelly's house. Kelly and I give each other some tearful hugs and express extreme gratitude that we are still alive. All of us are furious with the friend who dosed us, not only for dosing us so heavily but for not even telling us ahead of time that he was giving us a dose four times the size of the one the guys had received.
12:30 - One of my coworkers agrees to swap shifts with me. I breathe a heavy sigh of relief.
17:00 - My trip has finally worn off.
This will be my last experiment with designer drugs. It was the most terrifying, debilitating trip I have ever had, and though I had had many pleasant drug experiences with the friend who dosed me previously, I will not partake in drugs with him again in the future. It was a grievous violation of the trust I placed in him to dose me so heavily without my consent. I am sure he neglected to ask us what dose we wanted because he knew we would have said, 'heck no, we don't want that much.'
I would advise extreme caution to anyone considering the use of MXE. It is incredibly dose-sensitive, and the intensity of my experience was enough to ensure I will never try this drug again.
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