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Total Ego Dissolution
Ayahuasca (B. caapi & P. viridis)
by Mach
Citation:   Mach. "Total Ego Dissolution: An Experience with Ayahuasca (B. caapi & P. viridis) (exp96783)". Erowid.org. Apr 12, 2013. erowid.org/exp/96783

 
DOSE:
60 ml oral Ayahuasca (tea)
  60 ml oral Ayahuasca (tea)
  60 ml oral Ayahuasca (tea)

BODY WEIGHT: 195 lb


Mystical experience with entheogens

A long time ago, one friend of mine introduced me to a Brazilian church called Santo Daime, where they offer hoasca tea, or ayahuasca. In Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, the hoasca tea is made of two main plants of light (entheogen). Ayahuasca, or “vine of the souls,” is an entheogenic potion typically prepared from the liana Banisteriopsis caapi and the leaves of the small tree Psychotria viridis (also called caapi and yajé, among other names) was explained to me, along with how important it is to prepare our bodies prior to the ritual and doing an external and internal cleanser to having the tea; this sounds weird, but it is very important later on.

I learned the importance of preparing our minds, keeping focused to guide us all the way through the whole experience. At the church, they use songs and verses to reach that goal. They call them “hymns.” Such songs are received intuitively by the inner voice (which actually is a minor siddhis power). More experienced psychonauts, such as Terence McKenna, advocate taking strong doses, and I totally agree with that idea. Weak doses mean weak experiences; strong doses are more revealing. The ritual is normally experienced during the nighttime in the weekends far away from big cities and in direct contact with fresh air and lots of trees, starting mostly Fridays. The ritual starts 7:00p.m. and goes until 4:00 a.m. the next day. Most of the people at the Brazilian church are advised to wear light white clothes. When the ritual does start, the neophyte is invited to take one glass of hoasca tea, and the dancing follows the celebration.

Later on, I had the opportunity of requesting more information about the “dancing ritual,” and it was answered by one of the members of the church. It was explained why when the ritualistic dance starts, we need to suddenly change patterns over and over again. He told me that was necessary to invoke balance between the main powers of the universe—yin and yang. Without that balance of the sexual energy, the experience is not reveling as it should be. The idea is to send the sexual energy to our heads through the Sushumna channel, so I tried to follow up the flux of the flow, and I remember during the dancing ritual, I’ve the opportunity to stop a couple of times and only have the tea in small cups of glass, sparing one hour from each dose.

Long after taking the second dose of the tea, which is by the way very strong indeed, I did notice a sensation on my spinal cord. Suddenly I was fully aware of getting a “boner.” So the ritual itself has everything to do with sexual energy. The members of the church try to enforce control over the neophytes; normally they keep the ladies in one side of the court. After taking the third dose I felt nauseous more and more. I tried hard to avoid throwing up. That was my first contact with that surreal reality, which changed my life forever. During the ritual, again, I suddenly and abruptly felt a strong energy in my spinal cord going straight from my balls to my head; that sensation was repeating itself over and over again. Seconds after that, I had a vision. At the church, members call that vision “miracao.” I do believe it was manifesting through the pineal glandule (the third eye). I saw angelic blue humanoid-like entities as seen in the Baghavad Gita. The entities were pouring flowers off a large beautiful vase on my head, attempting to refine and purify my nadis (the channels through and in which, in traditional Indian medicine and spiritual science, the energies of the subtle body are said to flow, and pranayama helps flood our bodies with “prana”, also cleansing such channels);

Throughout that action, later on, I learned those beings interact in a more refined realm, where they do manifest themselves—entities full of love and knowledge. One of those beings were also bathing my head with some kind of divine solution; when he reached out for my head, I went in a trance state. “Nirvana, samadhi”? At that moment, I had no grasp of time and self; the ego totally dissolved. When I regained consciousness of my surroundings after a couple of minutes, I started to understand the true meaning of life and who in reality we all are. We are just parts of the universe; we are part of God. We don’t experience that reality 24/7 because our brains were made to help us interact and perform better in our realm—the third dimensional “illusory reality.”Experiencing more in this trapped realm, we do think this is it, and the rest is unreal. In reality, our souls never die but our bodies do (decay). So in one reality, the true one, we do live forever; and in the other, we just live for a couple of years, and that is the truth!

At that moment, I’ve had some kind of revelation: how important it is to re-approach God through meditation. Yes, meditation. Yogis, in the sacred mountains of the Himalayas, can fast for forty days. Can we do that? So how can we go deep into those states of spiritual reality? By the help of entheogen—the ritual which the ancients were pretty aware of. We just lost contact with that reality. All that struggle started when the Roman Catholic Church initiated a widespread killing of shamans by burning them alive, killing their present and past; burning manuscripts of the Mayas, Aztecs, Incas, and many indigenous people; the so infamous and stupid crusades, inquisition, killing millions of people (in present-day count, but thousands many centuries ago; meaning millions today) so as to throw in our heads that crooked religion. They took from mankind the smartest way to reestablish contact within with the creator of the universe, God. More and more, we experience that reality as we come closer to the creator of all, bringing more wisdom to our daily lives. Jesus talked about that on the consecration of the Holy Grail.

Above I tried to describe one of my mystical experiences among many others, the idea is have a spiritual path to follow; When I do take entheogen, I manage to have the sacrament in a true mystical way, enhancing awareness of God within. The whole experience took place in Rio, Brazil 25 years ago, a country where freedom to partake with entheogen is granted, by the Brazilian government to every dweller of planet earth, my advice here, is never, ever take the sacrament in your home, it can put you, in deep troubles, a Temple when ran by a knowledgeable shaman as Mr. Goithyja or others like him is the right place to have the sacrament, also makes the Neophyte more confident on partaking with such sacraments.

Exp Year: 1987ExpID: 96783
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 24 
Published: Apr 12, 2013Views: 6,508
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Ayahuasca (8) : Group Ceremony (21), Entities / Beings (37), Mystical Experiences (9), Retrospective / Summary (11)

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