Citation: fuzzy. "The Week After: An Experience with MDMA (exp96315)". Erowid.org. Apr 5, 2020. erowid.org/exp/96315
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Experience of Molly The Week After
Over a 3 day weekend (labor day weekend) I went out and celebrated a friend's birthday. Throughout the weekend, I took 1 Molly (MDMA) Friday and 1 Molly Sunday night.
Friday - Took Molly at 11:00PM, it kicked in about 45 minutes later. At first I became very anxious, I found myself breathing slowly in the corner. Then, my mood changed dramatically and I wanted to talk to everybody. I talked, danced, and became incredibly horny. Then got a ride home and stayed awake until 4:30AM, when I crashed.
Saturday - Woke up feeling a bit out of it, but normal for the most part. I felt myself coordinated, vision was okay, sense of balance still intact. However, I felt the urge to stay home and sleep. I tried eating some chicken and rice but my stomach was not having it. So I ended up going to the movies and going to sleep again afterwards.
Sunday - I went out to a club, ended up getting there around 11:15. Took a Molly at 11:30 and it didn't kick in until 1:00 AM (idk if this is normal). Once it kicked in, I was wired. My sense of touch was heightened and I found myself touching my hair and my friend's hair. I also got very sweaty/overheated. It must have been strong because at one point I was closing my eyes and dancing. I left with a ride around 2:00AM and talked with everyone in the car the entire way home. I felt connected to the people I was talking to, even though I had never met them in my life (I usually keep to myself). Upon arriving home, I looked in the mirror at my pupils for a good 30 minutes. I stayed up, touching fabrics and my own skin, until about 5:00AM. I woke up at 8:00AM the next morning.
Monday - I woke up feeling spacey, as if I was incredibly hung over from binge drinking. I felt like I was in my body, but my mind was not there, almost as if I was viewing my life through another perspective (sounds weird, I know). I am usually very active, I workout 6 times a week, eat well, etc. I did not want to do any physical activity. I ate breakfast out with family friends and I could not keep my mind focused or my eyes. When I tried to make conversation, I felt it difficult to put the words together and say them. I truly felt like I was mentally retarded. I went home afterwards and watched movies all day in my room. Then I went to sleep.
Tuesday - I woke up still feeling out of it and fuzzy. Again, it was difficult to keep my eyes and mind focused. I felt as if I was not capable of any feelings, like I was empty. I went to work in this zombie state. At work I couldn't relate to people, my thought process was not normal because it felt like I did not have any thoughts. Everything seemed empty. I'd stare at random things, stare at people's faces, and I felt nothing.
Everything seemed empty. I'd stare at random things, stare at people's faces, and I felt nothing.
Absolutely nothing. I've never experienced anything like it. Personally, I didn't even want to be at work. All I wanted to do was sleep.
Wednesday - I woke up hoping the spacey feeling was gone. Unfortunately it was worse. I was still spaced out and feeling like a zombie. I felt exhausted, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I felt uncoordinated, out of balance (physically), my vision was still fuzzy, my mind unable to keep focus, and my emotional state empty. I didn't think about anything except for what I was doing at the time (walking, looking around constantly). I felt like I had to work hard to do small things that were usually simple to me. At work again, I was a blank slate. I had to work hard to do everything I normally do. I felt very robotic. Once I got home, it hit me hard. I felt so empty, I cried because I was afraid I was going to be stuck in this state forever. I felt like death would be better than being in the state I was in. This is when I realized I had suicidal thoughts. This could be related to depression in my teenage years.
Thursday - I woke up still feeling spacey and out of it. Basically a repeat of Wednesday. I was robotic, emotionless, and empty. I went to the gym for a bit. My workout was sluggish, my heart rate at resistance 8 was 184 bpm. Usually resistance is set at 14 and heart rate is at 185. I was tired after 30 minutes compared to my usual 60 minute cardio workouts. After the gym I felt a bit better, still spacey and out of it but I actually felt hope.
Friday - I woke up still feeling spacey and out of it. However, I had small moments of feeling like myself. I felt some emotions and my thought process was a little better. Instead of focusing on doing menial tasks like walking, looking around, I had actual thoughts. I still felt a little depressed because I was not my usual self. My focus was still kind of off and I did not feel as sharp as I used to be. I went to work this way, basically a repeat of Tues-Thurs. I also had cravings for junk food. I don't normally eat junk food but I did. I think it was because it was the one thing that gave me joy (since I didn't find joy/interest in anything the entire week). I ate A LOT of junk food.
Overall, my experience after taking 2 capsules of Molly over the weekend were that I felt the following in the 5 days after:
-unable to focus
-lacking thought process
-increase of emotional eating (eating because it feels good, not because of hunger)
-sleepy all the time
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