Citation: Alice. "Almost Killed Me 3 Times: An Experience with Carisoprodol (exp96129)". Erowid.org. Jan 20, 2020. erowid.org/exp/96129
Soma is a crazy, highly addictive drug for me. Itís almost killed me three different times and I still want to take it. Here is a detailing of the first time I overdosed on soma Ė this is the only time I overdosed that I have much of a memory of.
First off, I need to say that Soma causes me to black out NOT pass out.
Soma causes me to black out NOT pass out.
After taking a large dose I would feel high for approximately 20 minutes, then black out and not remember a thing. However, this isnít to say that I wasnít doing anything. I have been told that while blacked out on Soma I was up and around cooking or doing dishes albeit while stumbling and slurring my speech. Iíve held rather incoherent conversations with people while on Soma, Iíve ended up in other places on Soma without remembering anything about how I got there, what I did while I was there, etc. Weíre talking HOURS passing by without a single memory of anything.
I had taken Soma for about 2 years for chronic pain without being addicted to it or abusing it. Then, my father passed away. That was it for me. I was depressed and hollow. I couldnít sleep. Thatís when I started to take increased amounts of Soma. At first it was to help me sleep, but as I started increasing my doses I started to notice how amazing it felt to take large amounts of Soma at once. I have a HIGH tolerance for everything from alcohol to pills, and I build up a tolerance fast. At first, 3 or 4 Soma would get me a nice, whole body high. I describe it as a ďwarm meltĒ of all of my extremities and an intense euphoria. The euphoria made all of my sadness over losing my dad disappear. Iím not sure if itís the ďwarm meltĒ or the euphoria that kept me wanting more, I imagine that itís the combination of the two. Itís a warm, soothing, sink into the couch feeling combined with an intense happiness and contentedness Iíd never felt before or since. Whatever the reason, I couldnít get enough.
Pretty soon, 4 wasnít cutting it. Weíre talking on Monday 4 would work, but Tuesday I had to take 5, and then an hour after taking 5 Iíd take 2 more. This pattern of increase continued until I was taking 8, 350 mg tabs of Soma followed by 3 more after 30 minutes. The day that I overdosed I remember taking the 8, followed by the 3 and having lunch (yes, I was so caught up that in the middle of a weekday I was getting high at home)Ö After lunch I took 3 moreÖ and thatís it. Thatís all I remember. The following is what Iíve been told happened:
My mother who lives 3.5 hours away in another state called me on the phone. She said I was slurring my speech and that I was incoherent. She was too far away to help. She called a relative who sent her son over to take me to the ER. He came to my home and I was locked in my office. I remember locking the door after taking the final 3 pills. Not because I was trying to hurt myself or anything but because (and this is devastating and humiliating to admit) I am a stay at home mom and my 3 children were home with me. I knew I was going to get fíd up and didnít want them to see me. My children are old enough that they would know something wasnít right. They would get scared. THATíS how dangerous this drug is. I wanted it badly enough that I took it at home, alone with no one to keep an eye on my three children.
I wanted it badly enough that I took it at home, alone with no one to keep an eye on my three children.
Itís the biggest regret of my life.
When the relative got to my house he had to break the door open because I was not responding to his calls. He found me on the floor, awake and conscious but somewhat catatonic. He was able to support my weight and help me walk through my house and out to his car. I was blacked out, I walked and donít remember. I donít remember driving to the hospital. I donít remember arriving at the hospital. I donít remember getting stabbed with IVs. Although I was awake through all of it, slurring my speech, protesting and arguing with nurses, I donít remember a single, minute detail.
I woke up in the hospital the next day. My aunt had come and stayed with me throughout the night. My children were at a relativeís. My husband was working in another state and on his way home. He was very angry about what I had just done to not only myself, but more importantly what I had just put our children through. And he had every right to be angry. The hospital would not discharge me until I met with a psychologist from the state who had to interview me to determine whether or not I had tried to kill myself. I promised that was not the case, but I know she didnít believe me. From the time I blacked out around 12:45 p.m. til the time I was released from the hospital a total of 28 hours had gone by. 28 hours that I have no recollection of.
Before the Doctor released me he said if my mom hadnít just happened to call from 3.5 hours away, my children would have discovered their mother dead. My sweet, 10 yr old daughter and 2 little sons. I almost did that to them. I almost took their innocent, sweet childhoods away from them because of my selfishness and addiction. And this is why Soma is so dangerous: I overdosed 2 more times after that. I donít remember anything about the other two times.
Soma sucked me in and if it werenít for the fact that I canít get it online or from my doctors anymore, Iíd probably still take it. Iíd like to think Iíd be more careful, but I canít say for sure that I would. I can say that if I were to get my hands on some again, I would end up dead.
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